LOVE FIRST…LOVE MOST

Listen to the sweet longing of Nat King Cole.

I’m gonna sit right down
And write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you
I’m gonna write words oh, so sweet
They’re gonna knock me off my feet

I’m gonna smile and say
“I hope you’re feeling better,”
And close with love, the way that you do
I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make believe it came from you

I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter
And make all my dreams come true.

It’s a wonderful song. There is just one big problem.

We already have trouble right here in River City…lots and lots of trouble.

Nobody writes letters anymore.

I don’t. You probably don’t.

We wave at the postman as we stroll to the mailbox. The postal system delivers utility bills, political flyers, hearing aid promotions, and credit card offers that begin with, “Congratulations! You’ve been specially selected to pay 29.99% interest.”

We slide back inside the house and wonder why no one writes anymore.

Real letters? Those have become as rare as a Bobby Flay steak.

When was the last time you received a letter?

When was the last time you wrote a letter?

Letter writing has quietly become a lost art—a disappearing skill hidden in a drawer somewhere between balancing a checkbook and knowing how to fold a road map.

Instead, we text.

We email.

We send emojis…GIFs.

We communicate entire emotional conversations with one yellow face ball wearing sunglasses.

I still maintain there is a fortune waiting for the first genius who invents an official Sarcasm Emoji.

Actually…never mind. That sentence was sarcastic.

See the problem?

Nat King Cole sang, I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter.

Today’s updated lyrics: “I’m gonna sit right down…and text myself a thumbs-up emoji.”

At that point, you might as well just stand in front of the bathroom mirror and make faces at yourself.

So what happened?

Simple.

Writing a letter requires three things modern life tries very hard to eliminate:

• Time.
• Effort.
• Thought.

Time

We now live in the glorious Age of Instant Everything.

Why wait three days for a handwritten note when you can send a text in three seconds…

…that you will regret in four?

The internet has convinced us that everything should happen immediately.

Need groceries? Delivered.

Need dinner? Delivered.

Need dating advice? Ask AI…or call Jeff.

Need sympathy? Someone on Facebook will post a praying-hands emoji before you have finished explaining what happened.

Speed has become the Time Man of the Year. Reflection has become optional.
You can send a message across the world in seconds. Unfortunately, your angry message also circles the globe before you’ve had time to realize autocorrect changed “God bless you” into “Go blast you.”

Effort

Writing a letter requires effort, while digital communication is as easy as a few taps on a keyboard.

Cost. No envelopes. No stationery. No stamps.

Of course, you will need to pay for a smartphone, unlimited data, fiber internet, cloud storage, wireless earbuds, a smartwatch, three charging cables, and a monthly subscription or two. You can order all those things on your Amazon App.

Other than those costs and an occasional technological shutdown of services, it is practically free.

Multitasking. That is another advantage causing the extinction of letter writing.
You can text someone “You have my full attention” while watching television, scrolling social media, eating nachos, and pretending to listen to your spouse.

Humanity has never been so productive…. and so distracted.

Spell-check fixes our spelling. Autocorrect creates entirely new problems.

Siri occasionally sends messages in a language neither of you speaks.

Technology is amazing.

Somewhere Jane Austen is quietly rolling her eyes. Think about Persuasion.

Captain Wentworth doesn’t send Anne Elliot:

“Hey.”

“U up?”

“Miss u.”

“❤️”

Instead, he writes one of the greatest love letters ever penned:

You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope…

Now that is a sentence for the ages.

Can you imagine receiving that in today’s world?

Probably not. It is not worth the effort it would require.

The modern-day communication of Persuasion travels through cyberspace to arrive looking something like this:

Anne and Captain Wentworth text after nearly decade long silence.

Stndng Q4 Apple drop LOL

Next comes the text version of the iconic line, “You pierce my heart. Half agony. Half hope.”

Wentworth:

(Delivered. No reply.)

Wentworth waits impatiently as he wonders. Is she texting that other guy? Is she married? Is she ghosting me?

Wentworth texts: how R U

Anne replies: phone at 3%. TTYL

Somehow the romance gets lost.

Maybe that is why letters mattered. A letter could not be dashed off while waiting for coffee. It required ink and paper. Time, Effort, and …

Thought

Now, that is a lost art in today’s world of short attention spans…for both the sender and the reader.

Before digital communication, you had time to think and rethink your words before they became permanent.

There was Deliberation. There were Revisions …and Trash Cans.

You could not accidentally hit “Send.”

The shift to shorter attention span is either the cause or the effect of non-letter writing. Probably both would pop up as answers on an internet search.

Now, we can use AI partners so we do not even have to think.

Speleling corrextions and Siri intrepidations are a bone-us.

We have lost our train of thoughts. The loss is not paper or stamps or cursive handwriting.

We lost the habit of slowing down long enough to say what really matters.

“Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours.” (Beethoven)

I think I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter.

It is very possible that many in the younger generations have no clue what it means to write a letter. Does that mean write a letter of the alphabet?

I can write my ABC’s. Have you ever played Mr. Postman? Three letters and you’re out.

Long gone are the days of history when carefully crafted correspondence carried communication of conflicts or celebrations across communities and continents.

Letters strong enough to carry the weight of the world. Letters large enough to capture the hopes of generations. Letters tender enough to melt hardened hearts.

Letters expressing timeless sentiments of lasting love and life-altering longing. Articulated feelings to bridge physical distances and preserve relationship connections. Letters to declare life-sustaining breath, unquenchable desire, and unwavering commitment.

The love language of letters can deliver sunlight to a soul in darkness, hope to a heart in agony, peace to a mind in torment, nearness to a body in a distant place.

And that is why the greatest letter ever written still matters today.

The God of Glory sent you a personal letter of love.

It will pierce your soul. Agony and Hope. One eclipsed by the latter.

Here are a few highlights penned with purpose and passion which far exceed that of Captain Wentworth. These letters overshadow all the greatest, most noble, most endearing lines penned by scribes, poets, and novelists of all generations.

The Love of God. No song can convey its width. No poem can reach its length. No music can soar its height. No novel can plunge its depth.

In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. After you have suffered a little while, he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation (1 Peter 5:10).

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us (Romans 8:18).

Written words powerful enough to change your heart. Salvation for your soul. Wisdom to guide and guard your thoughts and actions. Light for your steps. Strength for your convictions. Endurance, Character, Hope for every challenge.

I loved you before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4).

I loved you when I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13).

I love you with a great love that is new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).

I love you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).

I love you with a love whose width, length, height, and depth are beyond your understanding (Ephesians 3:18-19).

Immense Love (John 3:16). Great (Romans 5:8). Life-giving (Ephesians 2:4-5). Sacrificial (Ephesians 5: 2). Giving (Galatians 2:20). Merciful and Abounding (Psalm 86:5). Precious (Isaiah 43:4). Priceless (Psalm 36:7). Enduring Love (Psalm 136:26). Calming (Zephaniah 3:17). Unfailing (Psalm 48:9). Unconditional (1 John 4:9-10). Limitless Love (Psalm 103:11-12). Endless Love (Lamentations 3:22).

See how great a love the Father has lavished on us, that we would be called the children of God (1 John 3:1).

Unshakeable and Inseparable Love.

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord (Romans 8:38-39).

Read the letter God sent you. God loves you first. God loves you most. God loves you always. God loves you forever. Then God illustrates the greatness of His love with real emojis of mountains, oceans, forests, rivers, sparrows, flowers.

Immeasurable Love. Infinite Love with real emoji illustrations of the sun, moon, and countless stars.

If we with ink the oceans fill
And were the skies of parchment made
If every stalk on earth a quill
And every man a scribe by trade

To write the love of God above
Would drain the oceans dry
Nor could the scroll contain the whole
Though stretched from sky to sky.

O Love of God, how rich and pure
How marvelous and strong
It shall forevermore endure
The saints and angels’ song

The greatest love letter. It is not a text. Not an email. It is an everlasting collection of unquenchable love.

Read it. Memorize it. Write it. Share it. Live it.

I dare not ask anyone to stop texting. Just think before you text. Please do not text while driving. Correct your texts before sending.

Rid the mess agin B 4 U hot da spend butt N.

I’m gonna sit right down and write you a letter
Just pretend it came from me
I’m gonna smile and say
“I hope you’re feeling better,”
And close with love, the way that I do.

EYES UP! I LOVE YOU ALWAYS & FOREVER!

Introduction

If you have read many of my stories, you already know that grocery shopping and I have a strained relationship.

Yes, I am that husband—the one who cannot return home with the simple items on a short shopping list prepared by his ailing wife. It doesn’t matter if she includes photographs, brand names, aisle numbers, or detailed directions. Somehow, I still come home with the wrong items.

Over the years, my grocery adventures have become legendary.

I have fallen on my face while carrying a watermelon. I have found myself in the middle of a “Wine and Roses” encounter while attempting to separate an alleged shoplifting scuffle. I have argued with a self-checkout machine, forgotten the coupons, stumbled and spilled a carton of milk, and even managed to drop an entire dozen eggs.

At this point, I am beginning to wonder if I’ve been unofficially banned from both the grocery store and my wife’s angelic assistance team.

Today, however, I have a few questions.

Why aren’t all the ingredients for a recipe stocked on the same aisle?

Why does there always seem to be one indecisive shopper standing directly in front of the fresh fruit display, carefully examining every apple while the rest of us age noticeably behind her?

Why does a man always park his shopping cart sideways across the canned vegetable aisle while loudly talking on his phone and pointing toward random shelves?

Actually, I know the answer to that one.

He is talking to his long-suffering wife, who is wondering—for perhaps the thousandth time—how she ended up marrying an idiot.

And while I am asking questions…

Why do motorized shopping carts always travel in pairs? Why do they double-park in the narrowest aisles? And why is there always one driver barreling through the store like a runaway truck with failed brakes?

Move—or be maimed.

Here is another issue that troubles my soul.

If the store trusts me enough to scan and bag my own groceries, why do they station someone at the exit to inspect my receipt before allowing me to leave?

Feature Focus

Every self-checkout eventually announces a problem with your activity:

Unexpected item in the bagging area.

Those six words have probably caused more public humiliation than my seventh-grade buzz haircut administered by my dad when I returned home from the barbershop trying to pass for one of the Beatles.

Without warning, the self-checkout register flashed its accusatory message:

I froze.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Unexpected item in the bagging area.

The glowing red beacon atop the machine erupted like a miniature police cruiser hiding behind a billboard waiting to catch a speeding motorist. In one humiliating instant, every shopper within fifty feet knew that Register Four had a problem—and apparently, so did I.

I tapped and jabbed all around the touchscreen with growing desperation, alternately removing and replacing groceries as if I were James Bond or MacGyver trying to deactivate a ticking timebomb in the closing seconds before ignition.

Nothing.

The machine remained unconvinced of my innocence.

The loudspeaker crackled to life.

“Attention, shoppers. We have a suspected shoplifter at Register Four. Please guard your carts and calmly relocate to the frozen foods section until the situation has been contained.”

The older gentleman behind me sighed heavily, and the mother with the crying baby looked at me angrily, as if was … well, an idiot.

I raised my hands in surrender and shrugged helplessly.

In my mind, someone shouted, “He might have a weapon!”

A security guard moved closer. “Sir, please drop everything. Place your hands on your head so I can clearly see you. I do not want to handcuff you, but I will. The store associate will arrive shortly.”

There I stood, under the spotlight of public embarrassment, waiting for assistance that seemed to be traveling from another time zone.

Apparently, the attendant was performing a price check on Aisle Four.

Every step toward me was completely devoid of urgency, which raises another question.

How does someone rush slowly?

Yes, I know that’s an oxymoron.

But so is an innocent man standing beneath imaginary prison lights while a checkout machine loudly questions his integrity.

I asked if I needed to call a lawyer…

Perhaps this is a good time for a brief literary timeout.

An oxymoron joins two seemingly contradictory words into a single expression that reveals a deeper truth. Rather than canceling each other out, the opposing ideas create a richer meaning than either word could communicate alone.

The word itself is delightfully ironic. It comes from the Greek words oksus (“sharp”) and moros (“dull” or “foolish”). In other words, an oxymoron is literally a sharp dullness—making the word an oxymoron all by itself.

Which, if I’m being honest, perfectly describes me.

I can play the role of a remarkably sharp, stupid shopper.

Guilty Innocence

Thus began the saga of my guilty innocence.

The Sound of Silence was suddenly interrupted by a nearby shopper who managed to loudly whisper a rather unflattering description of yours truly.

She skipped the “oxy” part.

I briefly considered asking if she was Legally Blonde. Hey! I thought that was seriously funny.

Instead, I let out a silent scream.

Even the service dog accompanying a blind gentleman began to whine. A frightened kid climbed down from the counter to pick up his shattered plastic glasses.

At that moment, reality became strangely surreal. I felt less like a customer and more like an actor watching himself from the audience.

The approaching store assistant certainly wasn’t the Urban Cowboy riding to the rescue. He looked more like a Keith Urban impersonator strolling toward me while softly singing,

“Blue Ain’t Your Color… when it is Somebody Like You.”

For the record, I think constructive criticism is an oxymoron. We should call it what it truly is … destructive criticism.

At that moment, I certainly doubted my life calling.

As absurd as it sounds, I was a living oxymoron suspended somewhere in intense apathy.

Sometimes life does not simply place us in difficult situations. It places us between opposing emotions that somehow coexist in the very same heart.

These are all True Lies.

Like Augustine, I found myself confessing, “I have become a puzzle to myself.”

Whenever I feel trapped in life’s contradictions, I remember Shakespeare’s magnificent avalanche of oxymorons from Romeo and Juliet.

“O brawling love! O loving hate! O anything of nothing first create! O heavy lightness! Serious vanity! Feather of lead, bright smoke, cold fire, sick health…”

Only Romeo could make confusion sound poetic.

Personally, I preferred Juliet’s confusing conclusion from the balcony:

“Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”

At that moment, I was more than ready for the sweet sorrow of leaving the store.

I simply wanted to escape—with or without my groceries.

What did I have to fear except fear itself?

I was, after all…an honest thief.

Controlled Chaos

The store assistant finally arrived. Calling his pace methodical would have been generous.

If Slow Help had a mascot, this guy was wearing the costume.

With the deliberate precision of a bomb squad technician, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the barcode lanyard that would supposedly rescue me.

First, he had to untangle it.

Then he carefully examined it.

He swiped the scanner.

Missed.

He stared thoughtfully at the screen as though waiting for divine inspiration.

He sighed.

Swiped again.

His movements pictured the urgency of a North Atlantic glacier. The Titanic sank faster than this.

Meanwhile, the checkout line behind me continued to grow—not only in length but also in hostility.

How does a routine trip to buy groceries become controlled chaos?

You would have thought I was a gladiator in the Roman Coliseum who had forgotten to scan the lion’s dinner. The blood-thirsty crowd wanted action.

The Interrogation

I resented the attendant’s phony authenticity as if he were some book character from The Catcher in the Rye.

In contrast, I acted naturally.

Instead of clearing the error message, the assistant began conducting what felt like a criminal investigation.

How does a simple misunderstanding evolve into a public trial?

“Did you scan the beans?”

“Yes.”

“The peaches?”

“I believe so.”

“The cupcakes?”

At this rate, I expected him to interrupt the ABC Nightly News.

“Breaking Update… Authorities have released the complete grocery list recovered from the suspect at Register Four.”

Suddenly, I felt as though this were a scene from the movie, A Few Good Men, where a frustrated Jack Nicholson shouted his reaction to Tom Cruise’s intense interrogation.

“Sir, do you want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”

Then came the question that nearly broke me.

“Do you have the original receipt showing the price of the item?”

I blinked. “The original receipt?” I certainly doubt it.

He nodded thoughtfully, apparently unconvinced.

I was tempted to ask whether an exact estimate would suffice.

Instead, I made the tactical error of asking, “Do you have any noodles?”

I have discovered that serious SARCASM cannot be exchanged for store credit—with or without a receipt.

[Note: Where are the Few Good Men? Suddenly, my mind went wild like a grocery store reenactment of the final dramatic courtroom scene.]

The young man stared at me. “What did you say?”

A lady called out, “You don’t have to answer that question?”

“I’ll answer the question. You want answers?

Son, we live in a world that has self-checkout machines, and those self-checkout machines mess up. Who is going to fix it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly imagine.

You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about during break time, you need me on that self-checkout. You want me on that self-checkout.

I use words like honor, scan code, loyalty shopper.

I have neither the time or the inclination to explain myself to someone who gets paid because of my purchases and then questions the items on my list. I would rather you just said, “thank you” and go on your way to the deli.”

“Did you scan the item code before placing it in the bagging area?”

“Yes, I did! I scanned the code. I scanned the Red Code, the White Code, and the Blue Code. I am an American and I have a right to make a perfect mistake.”

There was a deafening silence. Everyone was stunned. It was time for truth.

Perhaps I had unknowingly pressed the wrong button. I choked while searching for the mysterious “Skip Bagging” option

I think the self-checkout machine simply sensed weakness.

I could not handle the truth! I do not have a clear memory of what happened at that point. I panicked. Everything in my mind became hazy and crazy.

I might have called the attendant an oxymoron.

Cruel kindness can sting almost as much as freezer burn.

I did not curse but I might have shouted a litany of grocery oxymorons, at least in my mind.

• Jumbo shrimp. Bittersweet chocolate. New-old fashioned freshly baked.
• Boneless ribs. Buffalo wings. Canned fresh vegetables. Naturally artificial flavors.
• Meatless meat. Non-fat ice cream. Gourmet fast food.

The grocery business, it seems, has built an empire on oxymorons.

Maybe that is why I fit in so well. Sometimes, I can’t handle the truth.

I longed for Lord Byron’s “melancholy merriment.” Instead, I shared Charlie Brown’s famous sigh, “Good grief!”

The Voice Above the Noise

Then it happened.

No sirens. No flashing lights. No dramatic announcement over the store’s loudspeaker.

Instead, there came a Voice.

It was not loud. It was a still, small voice.

In fact, it was so gentle that it seemed to rise above every other sound in the store. It sailed past the crying baby, beyond the grumbling shoppers, and over the anxious wail of the service dog.

Yet it struck its target with the precision of two guided cruise missiles.

Two words.

Gentleness. Patience.

The message landed with far greater force than all the embarrassment, frustration, and imaginary police reports that had occupied my thoughts.

Its echo continued long after the checkout machine was silent.

It penetrated the protective bunker surrounding my heart.

Suddenly, the grocery store was not my greatest problem. Not the checkout machine. Not the slowly rushing attendant. Not the grumbling crowd.

I was the problem. And I knew it. This was not about my inefficiency to scan and bag grocery items.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the gentle (the meek), for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5). They will go home with everything of value.

Biblical gentleness is often misunderstood.

It is not weakness. It is not timidity. It is not surrender. It is not allowing people to walk over you.

Gentleness is strength under control.

The word was used to describe a powerful stallion that had been trained for its master’s service. The strength was still there. The power had not diminished. This was a greater strength–power under control.

The strength had simply been surrendered to a higher purpose.

Gentleness shows up whenever love is strong enough to choose restraint.

The #1 Textbook reminds us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).

My grandchildren often remind me of one of the simplest—and best—definitions of patience.

Patience is waiting with a smile.

Longsuffering Love. That is far more difficult than waiting with a complaint. Patience requires greater strength and a higher purpose than throwing objects and shouting insults.

The two words continued to echo through my mind.

Gentleness. Patience.

Clothe yourself with gentleness and patience…above all, put on love…and honor God in whatever you do (Colossians 3:12-17).

Oddly enough, gentleness and patience were not on my shopping list. Neither was love.

Somehow, I remembered my wallet. My keys. My phone. My American Express card.

But I had walked into the store without love and the two things I needed most from the love collection.

Gentleness. Patience.

The “Skip Self” Button

Isn’t that true of so much of life?

We pack our schedules. We organize our calendars. We guard our possessions.

Yet we often leave home without the very qualities Christ longs to produce within us.

When life suddenly flashes an unexpected warning…

When someone blocks the store aisle…

When traffic stalls…

When technology refuses to cooperate…

When self-checkout checks out self instead of groceries…

Our first response is often frustration and anger.

Perhaps that is because following Jesus is the greatest oxymoron of all.

We spend our lives trying to preserve ourselves. Jesus calls us to surrender ourselves.

We give to gain; we lose to win; we serve to reign; we die to live.

We speak and live words that matter forever. Words like love, faith, hope. Words like honor, humility, service.

Then the ultimate worldly oxymoron shines in the spotlight of our skipped bagging … celebrate suffering.

Why? How? It is a spiritual oxymoron.

“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me…” (Galatians 2:20).

The Christian life is, in many ways, a lifetime of learning to press heaven’s “Skip Self” button.

Only then can Christ’s life be seen in ours.

I began to come to my senses. I was back in reality. I can only hope the oxymoron rant was a mindless dream.

The grocery assistant’s voice began to get my attention. “Do you need anything else, sir?”

I replied, “No thank you, kind sir. Love is all I need.”

LOVE IS ALL I NEED.

The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, all through the town.

Hop on the Struggle Bus. It is crowded but there is a seat reserved for you. This is probably not your first ride. We all struggle with difficult situations and people.

Suffering, sickness, and sorrow do not announce their arrival. Cancer does not schedule an appointment. Grief does not check your calendar. They do not show up with an instruction manual on how to navigate the wreckage of interrupted plans and crushed dreams.

Unwanted circumstances and toxic people simply have a way of showing up at the most inconvenient and difficult times. The future you imagined suddenly disappears in the rearview mirror. And before you know it…you’re climbing aboard the Struggle Bus.

Nobody planned to ride this bus. No one wakes up and says, “Today seems like a wonderful day for a personal crisis.”

Suddenly, your bags are packed. You’re ready to go. Backpacks overflow with fear, disappointment, loneliness, or unanswered questions.

At this point, we all face a critical crossroad. Run away in despair? Or regroup in hope?

For many people, the first reaction is confusion. “How did I end up here?”

Then comes frustration. “Why is this happening?”

Then fear. “What if things never get better?”

Eventually, almost everyone asks the same question: “God…where are You?”

That question does not shock God. In fact, the Bible is filled with people asking it. Perhaps, like many, you believe that genuine faith means pretending everything is fine. It doesn’t.

Biblical faith is not denying reality. It is bringing reality to God. There is a huge difference. The #1 Textbook never tells us to paste a fake smile over a broken heart. Instead, it repeatedly invites us to bring our pain, confusion, disappointment, and even our questions to the Lord.

What do you do now? Do you run away in despair? Or regroup in hope?

The destination sign on the front of the Struggle Bus does not read Despair City.

It reads: 2 Corinthians 1:10

You are not sure where or what that place is, but you just need to get away from the hurting place where you are now.

The wheels on the Struggle Bus go round and round, round and round, all through the town.

You may wonder why God allows us to ride this bus at all. Couldn’t He simply remove every hardship? Of course He could. (Check out the Mercy Me song, Even If…).

But if God removed every struggle, we would never learn to trust Him. We might admire His power while never experiencing His comfort. We might know about Him without truly knowing Him.

The Struggle Bus is not the detention center for the wayward; it is the classroom where we discover His faithfulness.

As you settle into your seat, look around. Here is a trustworthy statement. You thought you were the only one having a difficult day. I already used that argument. We are surrounded by ordinary people trying to make sense of difficult circumstances.

Look up and look around. Did you notice the woman quietly wiping tears with her last tissue? The man staring blankly out the window? His body is on the bus, but his mind is still in the hospital waiting room.

What about the grieving lady fidgeting with the wedding ring around her finger? The seat beside her has been empty ever since her husband went home to be with the Lord.

The bus is full. Not with perfect people. With hurting people.

You simply did not notice them before because your own pain was blocking the view.

One of suffering’s greatest lies is this: “I’m the only one hurting.”

That is not true. You may be the only one carrying your burden, but you are never the only person carrying a burden.

Every seat has a story. Every smile hides a chapter. Every heart has scars.

The Struggle Bus has no first-class section. No VIP seating. No “I’ve-got-my-life-together” compartment. Just ordinary people learning to trust an extraordinary God.

You are on the right bus.

As the bus rolls along, something becomes painfully obvious. Your biggest problem is not the bad circumstances or imperfect people in your life. Beneath every struggle is a deeper question.

Can I trust God?

The wipers on the Struggle Bus go Swish swish swish. Swish swish swish, all day long as a constant reminder that your tears and fears stem from a struggle with yourself…your unmet expectations, insecurities, regrets, resentments, and bitterness.

Can I trust God? The greatest struggles in life are the ones that you and I have with God, the driver of this Struggle Bus.

The horn on the Struggle Bus goes Beep beep beep. Beep beep beep, all day long.

Do you hear the Struggle Bus horn beeping in your mind as you complain about other people? It is trying to get your attention. Most of your struggles with other people and most of your struggles with yourself are caused by doubts about God’s wisdom and goodness.

Admit it. You want to drive the bus. You want to control the agenda and the circumstances. You want to control all the people in your life.

That is the real battle. Adam and Eve were the first passengers on the Struggle Bus when they rode out of Paradise into a broken world. Since then, every trial in life has whispered the very same lie: “Maybe God is not as good as you think.”

We listen to the soundtrack replaying the same argument. “If God loved me… If God knew…If God cared.”

The Struggle Bus does not create those questions. It simply turns up the volume…and squeezes two familiar passengers into your bus seat.  Mr. Shock and Miss Sorrow. They might as well be attached to your hip. You refuse to move around without them.

They love to dominate your attention. “I can’t believe this happened…Life will never be the same.”

Then, just when you think there is no more room in your mind for any more of this pressure, other passengers squeeze into your seat.

Fear. Regret. Bitterness. Control.

Yep. You want to drive the bus. You packed a plan and a map for your life. You even set up a time schedule. Unfortunately, no one else received your itinerary…not even God.

As the Struggle Bus hits another pothole, you notice something strange. The bus driver never panics.

He has perfect vision around every curve. He already knows every bridge, every detour, every storm, and every destination. There is nothing on this route that surprises him.

This is where many bus riders become confused about life and faith. God is not offended by honest tears nor intimidated by sincere questions. He already knows every anxious thought before you speak it.

He simply wants us to bring them to Him instead of running from Him.

The people on the Struggle Bus go up and down, up and down, all through the town.

As you look toward the front of the bus, you notice a familiar verse posted above the Driver’s seat.

“Cast all your cares on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).

Not some of your cares. All of them. Again…and again…and again. Bring your cares and your complaints to the bus driver.

Bring your complaints as well as your cares. Surprisingly, it is alright to complain to the bus driver. It never helps you to complain about the bus driver.

You hopped on the bus because you do not like what is going on in your life. You want to complain about it.

“My life is falling apart. Why is this happening? Why don’t you do something about this? What are you doing to me? Don’t you care about me? I have lost all hope.”

Wait. What? Is Complaining wrong? Sometimes. But not always.  

Here is some encouragement. You will not be the first bus rider to complain to the driver. David complained three times every day. His memorable moaning provides motivation for us.

Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moaning (Psalm 55:17). God listened to these constant complaints and still declared David to have a heart like His.

Why? David never forgot God’s character. Everything God does is wise, right, and good.

Sometimes, you board the Struggle Bus to be reminded of that great truth. You look out the windows of the bus to see everything going on. Things are not working right. People are not acting right. Circumstances are not lining up right.

Then you look at the good driver of this Struggle Bus. He is not worried, not afraid, not confused.

There is a world of difference between complaining to God and complaining about God.

The Bible calls the first lament. The second is grumbling.

Lament says, “Lord, I don’t understand what You’re doing, but I’m bringing my pain to You because You’re the only One who can help.”

Grumbling says, “God, you’ve failed me, and I don’t trust You anymore.”

If you ever wondered whether you are allowed to pour out your heart honestly, take a stroll down the aisle.

David is sitting near the front. He just blurts out what he is actually feeling. “How long, Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long must I wrestle with sorrow every day?”

Then, almost before the tears have dried, he remembers who the Driver is. “But I trust in Your unfailing love.” (Psalm 13)

That is biblical lament. Honest pain. Growing trust.

The change in perspective did not happen because David suddenly felt better, but because he remembered God was still good.

Across the aisle sits Jeremiah. If anyone earned frequent-rider miles on the Struggle Bus, it was Jeremiah. He faithfully served God. People ignored him. Mocked him. Threatened him.

He finally asked, “Lord…why do the wicked prosper?” (Jeremiah 12)

Have you ever wondered about that? Jeremiah asked difficult questions. But he asked them while facing God, not walking away from Him. He learned about everlasting love and mercies that were new every morning.

Then there’s Job. No one, absolutely no one wanted to sit anywhere near Job. He did not just have a bad week. He had the kind of year that makes everyone else grateful for their own problems.

He lost his children. His health. His wealth. His reputation. His “encouraging” friends scolded him to get his act together.

Sometimes the Struggle Bus is easier than listening to bad advice.

Job asked hard questions. Lots of them. Yet through tears and confusion he finally declared, “Though He slays me, yet I will trust Him.” (Job 13)

That was not blind optimism. It was stubborn faith. It was blessed hope.

Job rarely says much anymore. He spends most of the ride looking out the window, gazing at the stars and the rising sun. Not because he has given up. Because he has learned that some complaints do not get an answer, just a reminder the bus driver can be trusted no matter how bumpy the road.

Job eventually discovered something remarkable. He did not need an explanation for everything that happened. He received something better. He encountered God, the Creator and Controller of the Struggle Bus.

Sometimes God does not answer your every question. Sometimes He answers with His presence and the still small voice that can roll like thunder when you read His love letters in the #1 Textbook. Just check out the Cares and Complaints section.

Learn to complain to God…in faith.

Does that sound wrong? Stupid?

The babies on the Struggle Bus go Whaa whaa whaa. Whaa whaa whaa, all day long.

The rider in Psalm Seat 88 closes with one of the saddest lines in Scripture. “Darkness is my closest friend.”

No miracle. No light of hope. Just honest sorrow spoken to a faithful God. God preserved those words in the #1 Textbook given out to all Struggle Bus passengers.

Why? You do not need to have it all together to get to your destination.

This is just a suggestion from me, a frequent passenger on this Struggle Bus. Just talk to the bus driver. You do not need to use theological vocabulary, not even King James version only words.

“Lord, help.”

God never measures prayers by their elegance or their length, but by their dependence. Every cry for help is heard by your Heavenly Father whose heart is infinitely kinder than you imagine.

Call to the Lord for help; plead with Him. Bring all your complaints to Him; tell him your troubles. Tell him you are ready to give up and that you want off the Struggle Bus. Tell the driver you will trust what He says you should do (Psalm 142).

At some point, the ride does not feel quite as lonely. The road is still rough. Nothing outside the windows has changed. But something inside the bus has changed.

Hope has climbed aboard.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).

As you settle back into your seat, you notice something tucked into the pouch in front of you. A worn copy of God’s Word. The Driver calls it the Passenger Handbook.  

Its pages aren’t filled with fairy tales about perfect people. They are filled with real people who rode this same Struggle Bus. People who doubted. Cried. Failed. Waited. Wondered. Discovered that God never abandoned them.

The #1 Textbook explains why these stories were preserved:

Hope.

Faith is more than a reminder of what God promised. Faith reminds us of who God is. Faith is confidence in the Bus Driver.

For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope (Romans 15:4).

Endurance and Encouragement.

Read the #1 Textbook out loud to the bus driver. Read it during those stormy days outside and those darkest nights inside. “God, you said” … pick out one of the six-thousand-plus promises of good you are encouraged to trust.

The bus driver points to some of the seats on the bus close to where Job once sat shellshocked.

Jacob wrestled with everyone including the bus driver. Jacob wrestled with life. He wrestled with his brother and with his father-in-law. He wrestled with his fears.

Then one unforgettable night…he wrestled with God.

By morning he walked with a limp. But he also walked with a blessing and a reminder he never walks through life alone.

Joseph was depressed in the pits of life, lonely and confused. Read about his ride on the Struggle Bus. It was not the journey he would have chosen, but what God taught him was priceless.

Joseph learned God is always driving the Struggle Bus. Years later he could honestly tell the brothers who betrayed him,

“You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.”

Only God can weave betrayal into blessing. Only God can turn prison cells into classrooms. Only God can redeem years that appear completely wasted.

Read about the babies on the Struggle Bus. Moses would laugh if you called him fearless. He argued with God at a burning bush. He told God to get someone else. When he eventually got in the front seat to lead his extended family using God’s directions, everyone complained. Every day. Food. Water. Weather. Direction. Dissatisfaction.

If there had been online customer reviews back then, Moses would have needed counseling. He was hated by the people he tried to help. But he continued to lead his family in love. It was not always what they wanted, but always what they needed. There is a difference as well as a cost to faith.

Ruth stared out the window as she remembered leaving a silent, empty home and everything she had known. She joined Naomi on the Struggle Bus. Two widows. Two broken hearts. One uncertain future. At first glance, their story looks like one long funeral procession.

Loss. Poverty. Loneliness. Goodbyes. Even some give-up moments.

Yet quietly, almost unnoticed, God was arranging a family tree that would eventually lead to King David…and centuries later…to Jesus Christ.

While Ruth gathered leftover grain in a field, heaven was writing history. Never underestimate what God is doing on ordinary days.

David tried to hide from everyone. Solomon looked under every seat in search of something already in his backpack.

Jeremiah cried…a lot.

Peter was disappointed in himself. Paul was dragged onto the bus badly beaten and left for dead.

Where are you struggling in life? Is there some circumstance not turning out the way you prefer? Are you worried that you cannot control the situation or the other people? Are you afraid of not being the bus driver for your life…and for everyone else?

Are you struggling with other people? Are you struggling with your own fears, flaws, and failures? Are you struggling with trusting God’s wisdom to plan your life?

You may not understand every twist in the road. But you can clearly see that you never traveled alone. You are on the right bus.

The road is rough and the ride is bumpy, but the Struggle Bus always arrives at its intended destination. Where is that?

2 Corinthians 1:10.

The Lord rescued us from troubling circumstances; He will rescue us again.

We have placed our CONFIDENCE in him, and he will CONTINUE to rescue us.

Notice the three time zones of God’s faithfulness. He has rescued. He is rescuing. He will rescue again.

THAT IS HOPE. That is not wishful thinking. Not positive vibes. Not crossing your fingers.

CONFIDENCE IN A FAITHFUL GOD TO DRIVE THE STRUGGLE BUS.

You and I are not in control of our circumstances or the people around us. We do not know or control the future. The best thing to do is to trust the One who is in control. And save a seat for someone who needs a ride.

My struggling friend, you have arrived at your destination point for your current cares and complaints. 2 Corinthians 1:10.

“Our God has rescued us…He will rescue us again…In Him we have placed our hope.”

The kids on the Struggle Bus sing, “Trust, trust, trust. Trust, trust, trust, all day long.

I am just going to wing this with a goal of helping myself and, hopefully, some others struggling through this thing called life.

I have been working for months on a revised Bible study through Ecclesiastes. I am not sure it will ever see the light of day. Here is a summary of my thoughts.

This life is UNFAIR! And this is NOT a joke!

I screamed my protest last week. I spent the last three weeks counseling and consoling others who are lamenting or venting about the unfairness of their situation.

Do you ever feel as if life is unfair? Have you ever wondered what if things were different in your life?

Sure, you have. It might have resulted from the loss of a loved one, a health diagnosis, financial setbacks, emotional stress, being overlooked for advancement when you were better qualified, a messed-up relationship.

Unfair– marked by injustice, partiality, favoritism, deception, inequality.

“That is not fair!” All of us have thought and said this. Children and adults cry “unfair” when we do not get what we think we deserve … or get what we do not deserve. We blame others or simply feel sorry for ourselves, sulking into disappointment, anger, and bitterness.

Is there a better way to live in an unfair world? The #1 Textbook has an answer.

Look at the answer from the Preacher in Ecclesiastes followed by my REXplanation thoughts.

1. The Preacher’s Thesis: Life is vanity (literally, a God-given breath), even Vanity of vanities (the Lifegiver’s Breath of breaths).

Vanity of vanities, says the Preacher, vanity of vanities! All is vanity (1:2).

REXplanation: Every ‘breath’ of this earthly life is (i) God-given and (ii) Brief.

The traditional interpretations often define vanity as “meaningless, fleeting, empty, worthless.” I do not think that communicates the author’s intent.

The original Hebrew word literally refers to ‘breath,’ using the name for Abel, the son of Adam and Eve. Every ‘breath’ is brief and God-given just like Abel’s life.

Abel honored God with his brief earthly life which was abruptly and cruelly ended when he was murdered by his brother Cain who did not live to honor God or love his brother first and foremost.  

Cain’s name meant “to gain or own something of earthly substance for yourself” (selfishness).

Abel is “empty” of everything except what God gives him. Cain gained everything this world had to offer. Was that UNFAIR?

• The Preacher’s Study:

Is there any benefit (gain) in how one lives this brief, God-given life? What does man gain by all the toil at which he toils under the sun? (1:3).

REXplanation: Is there any benefit (gain) in how one lives this brief, God-given life if life is unfair? Is all of this earthly life about Cain’s self-centeredness? Or Abel’s God-centeredness?

Big Question: Who won in the end? Cain or Abel? Who had the best earthly life? Which life was more eternally significant? Which life had the greatest benefit?

What does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and lose his soul? (Mark 8:36).

Ecclesiastes explored, studied, and concluded the difference in life is not one’s chosen profession or earthly pursuits (Chapter 2). The difference is not measured by what someone acquires or loses in life? The distinguishing mark is enjoyment of a God-given life that honored God and loved others.

Was the Preacher correct? Yes. Abel trusted God and is listed as the first in the heroes of faith (Hebrews 11:4) who followed Jesus, the giver and finisher of faith (Hebrews 12:1-2). Do not go the way of self-reliant Cain (Jude v. 11).

In the end, it does not matter how much you accumulate, how big your accomplishments, or how great the applause. You will exit this life with nothing.

All that lasts is love for God and love for others as you stand before God with faith that the sacrifice of a lamb pleases God.

All of life is the way of Abel. Nothing else matters except faith in God.

• The Preacher’s Observations:

(1) Every life is connected (vs. 4-11).

• By God-given breath, by Time (days, seasons, generations) and by Nature (wind, rain, human experiences).

REXplanation: There is a repetitious similarity to all life experiences.

(2) Wisdom is needed for life in this world (v. 12-14).

• Life is lived in a Man-centered mess of unhappiness, unfairness, brokenness, chasing the wind and running in circles searching for something missing (vs, 15-18).

REXplanation: Wisdom is the God-given ability to see, understand, and live life from God’s perspective according to God’s playbook (#1 Textbook).

I think the wisdom given throughout God’s Word and specifically addressed in depth in Ecclesiastes points us past the actual events and changing circumstances of this earthly life. Wisdom reminds us that social media success can be deceiving.

We do not and cannot control circumstances and other people. This earthly life is transient, temporary, brief, a fleeting vapor. It is unfair and cannot be fixed. We need God’s wisdom to navigate uncontrolled circumstances and interact with imperfect people.

(3) Life is enjoyed in God-centered trust (love, joy, peace).

I have noticed one thing, at least, that is good. It is good for people to eat, drink, and enjoy their work under the sun during the short life God has given them, and to accept their lot in life…To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life—this is indeed a gift from God (5:18-19).

REXplanation: The Life Jesus gives is forever and unaffected by the brevity of earthly unfairness.

Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31).

• The Preacher’s Conclusion:

(1) Trust God, love others, enjoy your God-given life.

The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will make all things right (12:13-14).

There is nothing wrong with time spent in pursuit of art, agriculture, architecture, athletics, amusement, or any activity from A-to-Z. However, none of that matters most or will last forever… Not even the greatest, highest, best, or most achievements or acclaim (Ecclesiastes 2).

What matters most and lasts forever is what is learned from Abel, the ‘breath’ and Jesus, the Life-giver ‘Breath of breaths.

Love God and love others. Everything else in life depends on that (Mark 12:30).

(2) Trust God to make everything right.

Love, Peace, and Joy are everlasting and ever-increasing.

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REXplanation Counsel:

• Life is unfair. Get over it and enjoy your brief, God-given life.

No one chooses birth, family, privileges, opportunities, or hardships. No one chooses or prevents unwanted circumstances or their timing.

• People will mess up. Get over it and enjoy your brief, God-given life.

Do not expect this world or its people to be what they can never be … perfect.

• Some people will do you bad. Get over it and enjoy your brief, God-given life. Life is unfair, but our response to that unfairness is ours to choose. We can respond to unfairness with love and compassion which treats others the way we wish to be treated … fairly.

• Disappointments are part of life. So are failures. Get over it and enjoy your brief, God-given life. In every unfair situation, God is with you and for you. Live with more gratitude than complaints.

• Success, struggles, sorrow, setbacks, sickness, and suffering have expiration dates. Get over it and enjoy your brief, God-given life. Do not question God’s goodness because of your circumstances. Everything God does is wise, right, and good.

• Keep reminding yourself there is a Forever Agenda to this earthly life. Eternity is longer beyond our imagination. Earthly life is shorter than anticipated. Get over the unfairness and enjoy your brief, God-given life.
• God is teaching and developing Christlike character in your life. Study the life of Joseph, Job, and Jesus. Look at Ruth, Esther, and the Samaritan woman. Consider Abel.

SPOILER ALERT: Their lives end up as a masterpiece lesson of God’s inherent and limitless goodness. What others unfairly intended for bad, God designed for good.

All these things about their earthly lives were recorded to give us INSTRUCTION FOR ENDURANCE and ENCOURAGEMENT TO HOPE IN GOD’S GOODNESS (Romans 15:4).

HOPE is the confident expectation of experiencing all the good God has promised … Somehow … Someway … Sometime.

• We all need Jesus…every breath.

All of the #1 Textbook is literally God-breathed (2 Timothy 3:16). Breathe it into your life.

The Creator God breathed life into the first man and every person since (Genesis 2:7). Every single breath is an ongoing gift sustained by God.

In the new creation, Jesus breathes on His followers and gives them His Holy Spirit for spiritual empowerment to fulfill their purpose in this unfair world (John 20:22).

Jesus declared, “I am the Resurrection and the Life. Even if a man dies, but believes in me, he will still live” (John 11: 25-26).  

Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord (Psalm 150:6).

In everything you do, it is essential to breathe. Exercise, relaxation, work, play, anxiety, excitement, running, resting. Breathing becomes more awkward with anxiety. It is more difficult when treated unfairly or exposed to words of toxic people.

How do you learn to breathe while dealing with unfairness? The Wisdom of Faith.

• God has a better view of your life and future.

I do not know all you have to wrestle with or worry about or how you have been wronged. I am unaware of how much you have been hurt or how deeply you might be plunged into despair. Life is never easy; it might even feel unfair.

Be careful when you drown in thoughts about the unfairness of life. That is the danger zone. Your present circumstances might not be easy. They may be very difficult, and appear to be very, very unfair. Do not entertain the lie that somehow you would be better off if things were different.

• God has not shortchanged you when it comes to goodness. Unfairness has not robbed you.

There is not one good thing that God ever withholds from us” (Psalm 84:11). No good thing has been kept away from you.

You were chosen by God for a planned life of abundant and unending goodness…before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4).

You have been God-designed and God-planned to be God’s child, the recipient of immeasurable and limitless goodness. It will take all the coming endless ages of time for God to show you the greatness of His goodness to you (Ephesians 2:7).

Change your perspective. Do not lower God down to your explanations about life or complaints about its unfairness. Raise your view of God.

The greatness of God’s goodness is far higher than you have yet to imagine. Look to the heavens from where your help comes. Listen to God‘s Word. It will change your attitude regarding this earthly life. It will give you HOPE.

• BE THANKFUL FOR HOPE, EVEN WHEN LIFE FEELS UNFAIR.

The unfairness of this brief, God-given earthly life does not take away any of God’s planned and promised goodness to you.

“Oh, what a wonderful God we have! How great are his wisdom and knowledge and riches! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his methods! For who among us can know the mind of the Lord or know enough to be his counselor and guide? Everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory. To him be glory evermore” (Romans 11: 33-36).

Follow Jesus, love others, and enjoy your time here in preparation for perfect forever. Leave the unfairness with your God and trust Him to do what is wise, right, and good.

For God is pleased when, conscious of his will, you patiently endure unfair and unjust treatment … For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ sufferedfor you. JESUS IS YOUR EXAMPLE; FOLLOW IN HIS STEPS.

JESUS LEFT EVERYTHING IN THE HANDS OF GOD AND TRUSTED THE ONE WHO ALWAYS JUDGES FAIRLY (1 Peter 2:19-24).

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Life is unfair. You either face that unfairness God-centered or self-centered.

Let’s be real and honest. We are still shocked and upset when treated unfairly. We complain, get angry, and become depressed. We plan ways to expose and avenge the unfairness. We are ready to fight.

Do you refocus on God-centered breaths? Do you move on in life with faith, hope, love, joy, and peace? You can. How? Take another breath and thank God.

Unfairness did not stop Jesus from fulfillment of his divine purpose. Unfairness marked Joseph and Job and Ruth, but it did not define their lives or hinder their purpose or diminish their blessings.

WHEN LIFE IS UNFAIR. TAKE A BREATH AND HOLD IT IN HOPE.

Take another breath and another until your life gets back in rhythm. Yes, you will have to go back through that Breath of Hope cycle many times until the bitterness about that unfairness is uprooted and your life story moves on to a new chapter.

This world is UNFAIR. Unfairness never wins. It just runs in circles chasing the wind, generation after generation. Every brief, God-given breath of Hope overcomes this self-centered world.

All is vanity, the vanity of vanities. This is a brief, God-given life. You either live it self-centered like Cain, grabbing as much of it as you can only to lose it all at the end OR you live God-centered like Abel even when life is unfair.

THE LIFE JESUS GIVES IS FOREVER AND UNAFFECTED BY THE BREVITY OF EARTHLY UNFAIRNESS.

WITH EVERY BREATH, OUR LIFEGIVER PROVIDES STRENGTH FOR THE MOMENT AND HOPE FOR THE NEXT.

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