SESSION 22
She was as pretty and sweet as any six-year-old girl who has graced the face of this earth.
Like too many precious children, her perfect world came crashing down upon her with the news that her dad was tragically killed in a traffic accident. A farmer’s tractor/combine fell onto the young veterinarian’s car.
She was the oldest of five children. That’s right. Her mom was raising five kids under the age of six. They had just moved to Minnesota, far away from family and friends. This was life-changing trauma…for all of them.
A best-selling book, beautiful movie, bouquets of flowers, thousands of testimonials, and many stars in a heavenly crown should await her mother. The devastating grief and shattered dreams drove her to an even deeper faith in God. She was pretty and charming, but she had five little kids. Most babysitters were “one and done” as were the interested suitors.
She did the parent thing alone. Her children and innumerable multitude of descendants are her earthly monument. She did well. As I said, it would make a good movie.
However, the subject of praise in this session is directed to that six-year-old girl. She suffered deeply from the loss of her hero father. She also had to take on a new role in the family as her mother eventually joined the workforce to support her handful of children.
This little girl became a responsible helper in the home. She became an excellent cook who had dinner on the table for the whole family when Mom got home. She was the head housekeeper of an immaculately clean house overrun by four little siblings just living a normal life. She learned how to do laundry from cleaning to ironing and folding. She became a skilled seamstress.
Her grown-up responsibilities did not prevent her participation in the neighborhood kid fun stuff. She enjoyed games, bike riding, and races. She was a happy little girl with a deep sense of fear always lurking inside.
She lost her father. She did not lose her sweetness. Neither would change with the passing years. She missed out on many of the father-daughter things that others take for granted. That absence in her heart has never been fully replaced. However, she excelled in school. She was smart, disciplined, responsible, friendly, and popular.
She will be embarrassed that I mentioned she was a lifeguard awarded the Presidential Merit of Honor for saving a life. She was declared the fastest woman in her college sports class. She was the star reporter in a movie. She worked her way through college to become an exceptional dental hygienist. She possessed the most beautiful eyes any patient ever looked into.
I married that grown-up girl. (If you missed it, read session 12, “Honeymoon Bliss.”) One of her teachers told me I got “the cream of the crop.” Yes, I did. She has greatly blessed my life and those of her three children and seven grandchildren. They call her “Babe;” I call her “My Girl.”
This WINSDAY WISDOM is dedicated to My Girl. Happy Birthday, Babe!
My Girl. That is a pretty bold statement from the guy whose girl’s favorite song at the time we dated was the Lesley Gore classic, “You Don’t Own Me.”
Don’t tell me what to do…Don’t tell me what to say And please when I go out with you…Don’t put me on display You don’t own me…Don’t try to change me in any way.
That song played often in our newlywed apartment, along with the flip side of the record, “It’s My Party and I’ll Cry If I Want To.”
God knew I needed her. I know that as well. She has helped make me a much better man than the one she married. I have learned so much from her, especially her kindness.
I watch her unselfishness as she serves others. She is truly content with less. Suffering and hurt turn her toward the Lord for comfort and restoration of her soul.
She reads the #1 Textbook and writes daily in her prayer journal. She records sermon notes almost word for word. Her patience with me goes beyond the definitions of longsuffering and perseverance. She loved me when I was young and self-centered. She loves me now when I am old and set in my ways.
I have failed her in many ways, but never in my heart. I have loved her since that first day I was introduced to this gorgeous young woman with those beautiful eyes. Yes, they are the bluest and brightest. Of course, I did not have much of a clue about true love. I did say, “Hello.” Sometimes in a movie, that’s enough to hook the girl’s heart. My understanding of love has grown. I loved her then, but not as much as now.
Love First and Love Most are not challenges when it comes to her. It is the joy of my heart to compete with her in this most important thing in life.
Through her, her children, and grandchildren, I have been truly blessed. She made us a Family. From cook to cheerleader, from prayer time to phone calls, in struggles and success, she has been there for them. They share with her their stories, jokes, and secrets. They find comfort in her presence. When she does their laundry, they feel as if they are truly home. Steadfast love awaits all of us.
Her faith in God is real; but so are her emotional struggles with fear of the future. How do those two opposite ends of the emotional spectrum exist in one person? Ask David, the composer of most of the Psalms. It is called honesty.
God can handle our questions, doubts, and fears. His faithfulness is not threatened. His lovingkindness never ceases.
Why does God’s Word tell us not to fear, worry, or drown in despair? Why? Because that is where our hearts and minds live in this earthly jungle. That is why we need the constant reminders to look up and trust, to live in hope.
Hope: the confident expectation of experiencing all the future goodness God has promised you… somehow…someway…sometime.
In the most painful moment—God is with you.
In the bigger picture—God is for you.
Everything God does is wise, right, and good…even when you cannot see it that way and do not feel it could ever be that way.
Whether it is the little girl or my girl, there is HOPE. It is not the stuff of wishful thinking or fantasy dreams. Hope is grounded in truth. That truth is revealed in God’s Word. It is real and relevant and reliable. It is supremely sufficient for all suffering and circumstances.
Maybe, that is one of the reasons God joined us together as a team. She overflows with unselfish kindness in every relationship. I abound in hope in every circumstance.
My wife once described how she feels in the darkest moments of emotional struggles. “Have you ever felt you were hanging on by a thread? A thin, thin thread unraveling in your hands? But in that moment, you realized that there was Someone bigger holding on to that thread and He would never let you go under.”
In those times, I hope for both of us in the same manner her heart of kindness carries me and my heart deficiencies into the arena of life. God has not given up on her, and she has not given up on me.
I offer no pat answers or easy faith recipes for her or you. I do not pretend to tell that little six-year-old girl that the tragic loss of her dad was good. I would never dare tell you that your past or present or future hurt and heartbreak should be called good.
I do not intend to say you should just shake it off and act as though nothing hurtful has happened; neither do I suggest that I can forecast how your loss and suffering will turn out for good.
In all your hurt and heartache, I am pleading with you to look to the God of Comfort and Hope. He is still holding on to you. He suffers and cries with you. He has promised to work ALL things out for your good. It is indeed a divine mystery how the dark threads woven into our lives are there for a purpose–a mystery only God can unravel for us one day.
God can and will fix you, but the process is lifelong. My precious wife is still a divine masterpiece in the making. So are You!
It will take time for you to see and feel differently, but healing can begin this very moment. I am convinced that God’s goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives (#1 Textbook) and that His goodness will eventually amaze you beyond anything you could have imagined.
Love First. Love Most.
“LOVE is patient and KIND…It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful…LOVE bears all things, believes all things, HOPES all things, endures all things. Love never fails and it never ends“ (#1 Textbook).
God gave me a promise from the #1 Textbook before I asked this beautiful young woman to marry me. “Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which God has given you under the sun; for this is your reward in life.”
I have a reward in this life:
I don’t need no money, fortune, or fame
I got all the riches baby, one man can claim
Well, I guess you’d say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl, my girl, my girl
Talkin’ ’bout my girl…My Girl.
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 