SESSION 23
Have you ever made a Donut Decision? I am not referring to some choice from a glass case of donut options. I mean the kind of decision that looks good at the start but later reveals a big hole of empty promises in the middle. This session is about both kinds of Donut Decisions.
Some decisions in life are bigger than others; some are smaller. Some decisions are hard, and some can be classified as no-brainers. Some choices have greater, longer-lasting consequences; some have minimal blowback. Some decisions are thrilling while some can be frustrating.
I recently stopped at Krispy Kreme to pick up some donuts for my grandkids. The decision was not too complicated. One dozen glazed, and one dozen chocolate covered glazed.
Only one car was ahead of me in the drive through. This would be a quick pick-up, resulting in an extremely popular surprise. Somehow this convenient stop at the donut place with the “Hot” flashing sign would turn into a glaze of frustration.
The lady in the only car ahead of me was obviously not in a hurry for donuts or any decision. I listened as the sound came from the speaker indicating the Krispy Kreme employee was waiting for her order. When there was no reply by the customer, they told her to just order when ready. Long silence. Repeat, ready when you are. Longer silence. Please order when ready.
Finally, the lady started an order; then canceled it. She restarted. Paused for what felt like twenty minutes. Added two specialty donuts. Subtracted two regular items. Then she abruptly canceled the entire order…again.
The lady began to ask questions about the menu. She deliberated. Then placed a call on her cellphone for suggestions. By this time, I am blocked in the drive-through line. No way out and no way through! I am stuck!
I am not sure whom she called. It might have been her grandkids. Maybe it was her daughter or husband. Perhaps it was the fire station or her church class.
Maybe she called her priest to confess her insensitivity to holding up the other customers. Was she requesting an indulgence for her insatiable desire to order more donuts than could be eaten by the multitude of five thousand? Most of the church people I know just stuff their faces with donuts and ask for forgiveness in the next life.
I understand the desire to please. She wanted to get the order correct and to someone’s satisfaction.
Of course, I was patient. Love first. Love most. This was just a test. Donuts can wait.
Then the store turned off the “Hot” sign. Wait a minute!
I would wait more than another minute. The lady began to read the entire menu to the person on the other end of the call. The phone recipient asked her to read the entire menu…twice. A few items were added to her order. Another was withdrawn. One icing flavored was changed.
Is that all? “Yes. No! No! Wait.” She just spotted the picture with special patriotic donuts. She wanted some of them. She inquired as to what kinds were available. The picture had patriotic “sprinkles” or choice of colored glaze (“red, white, or blue”). Thankfully, our national flag has only three colors. The special offers also came in regular or chocolate, which added complications to each decision.
How long does it take to say, “One dozen glazed, and one dozen chocolate glazed, please”??? Apparently, much longer than I assumed.
I tried to imagine that the lady could have been my grandmother. I would definitely want others to show her patience and kindness. Then it dawned on me that I am now the age of my grandmother. Heavens to Betsy!
The dear lady canceled her order and started over. I texted the home team about the delay. I mentioned something about the “witch of the west” ordering for all her munchkins. Well, sorry. At least I did not call her the Wicked Witch of the West.
Oh, the agony of her dilemma. Back to the phone. She repeated the patriotic options as she pointed to each picture, as if the person on the other end of the cell call could see the multi-colored choices. Yes, change the order. She began yelling at someone. I am not sure whether it was the employee or the voice on the cell phone.
Things took a turn for the worse when she arrived at the payout. I will spare the details since you have probably decided to stop reading/listening by now. All of you have a story to tell that would top this one.
Have you ever made a Donut Hole Decision? I am not referring to a selection of a donut from multiple options. I mean a decision that seemed very good at the start but somehow ended up with a big empty hole in the middle. Something was missing.
Most of my “hole in the middle” decisions were made on impulse. My self-centered selections deteriorated relationships that were important to me. Like so many people, I did not think through the potential consequences of my initial decision.
Our choices affect others. I am learning to think about others as I make my decisions. A resolution to love first and love most sets a precedent and parameters for our other choices.
Decisions can be difficult and waiting on others to make decisions can be…uuhhh…challenging.
For example, it took me years to learn that my wife enjoys reading the restaurant menu. You heard that right. Purveying the menu selections is more interesting to her than eating the advertised specials. It’s like shopping. The joy is in the journey, not the actual purchase.
I used to think it was just difficult for her to choose from all the items on the menu. I realize now that reading the menu is pleasurable to her. Like patience is pleasurable to me. (Where is that sarcasm font?)
Since I do not drink alcoholic beverages, it is nice when there is a bowl of chips and salsa to accompany the menu-reading time. My preferences have no judgment or condemnation attached. I just enjoy a social time of chips and salsa now and then. There have been several occasions where I almost selected the Margarita option on the other side of the menu.
My wife is a fast reader, but any menu survey reduces her speed-reading into slow-motion. She even finds some menus worthy of more than one glance. What do I think about that avocado topped tilapia with the green chili sauce?
“Hey, let’s order it and find out.”
She replies, “No, this other item sounds like it might be good.”
“Well, let’s just order both of them.”
The smiling waitress returns…again. “Are you ready to order?”
“Not yet; we are still looking. Could you bring us some more chips and salsa? Can you bring us a sniff-n-taste sample of everything? While you’re at it, just bring a dozen or so margaritas…just for me.”
Seriously, the menu search is not a problem for me, not anymore. I love it that she enjoys the menu. Again, it is the window shopper in her. She looks at all the beautiful, mouth-watering options. Then she orders the least expensive. Gotta love it.
Love First and Love Most. That is a decision. It’s your choice, no matter what is on the other person’s menu. I wish I had learned that sooner in life.
To love first and most is always the best decision you can make in any relationship.
I have made far too many “donut hole” decisions because of impatience. Sometimes, I do not even wait for Siri to respond with the correct directions. I just turn and go.
That is not the best method for spiritual direction. Every decision you and I make, has a spiritual dimension. God’s Word is the sure and steadfast guide to every decision and direction in life.
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go (#1 Textbook).
YOU ALWAYS FIND GOD’S WILL IN GOD’S WORD.
I believe every step of our lives is recorded in the #1 Textbook. God’s Word is like a lamp to guide my steps and a light that shows the path I should take. Some “next” steps come with a green light to go for it. Others have a yellow caution or red stoplight.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you (#1 Textbook.)
Learn to walk with God. Ask His opinion about your life’s menu. Spend time in the #1 Textbook. Waiting on the Lord’s counsel is always a good decision.
Here are some guidelines for decision-making:
1) PURPOSE: Love God and love others. Establish that every decision in your life will be an expression of your ultimate purpose.
2) PREFERENCE: Love Yields.
For instance, if the decision is whether to paint the room off-white or taupe, you can yield. There is no “right” color. Yield, especially if one color makes the other person happier. You do not have to always be the authority, get your way, or make every decision. Preferences are never about right and wrong choices.
3) PLANS: Love is open to Change.
Consider your options. Listen to counsel. Adapt and improve to better your decisions and advance your direction.
4) PRINCIPLE: Love Stays the Course.
It is always right to Love First and Love Most. No compromise. No shortcuts.
5) PATIENCE: It’s a no-brainer Love test.
NOTE:
- Decide now to Love First and Love Most.
- You do not have to “wait in line” to love first and love most.
- You might have to “wait on another person” to love them first and most.
- See the “wait time” as a golden opportunity to love first and most.
- Do it with more joy!
I have to go now. The “Hot” sign is back on at Krispy Kreme.
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 