WINSDAY WISDOM SESSION 26
We had an incident early in the first weeks of our marriage where I made a bad decision involving a yellow Volkswagen. I acted more in fear than faith. I made a vow to quote Proverbs 3:5-6 every time I saw a yellow Volkswagen. This week, one pulled up next to our car at a stoplight. I proudly told my wife that I was still saying my memory verse.
She replied. “Which one? Thou screweth up?”
My wife is a very funny comedienne with great timing. Apparently, she still uses the original King James version.
My thoughts this week have been two-fold. One, I have really been craving creamed corn. Two, I have been contemplating last week’s session about the Creamed Corn Catastrophe from the view of the one I spilled it on, my wife. (See session 25 if you missed the reference. Short version, I dropped a large cup of creamed corn on my wife. I confess I had fantasized about that during some of our discussions. This time, it was accidental.)
Have you ever been dumped on? Not just the accidental or humorous incident. Someone intentionally hurt you or mistreated you. How did you react?
Dumped On—The Dictionary of Idioms defines the phrase as:
- maligned (to make harmful or untrue statements about someone).
- disparaged (to speak disrespectfully of someone with the intent of lowering their value in the eyes of others).
- mistreated (to treat wrongly).
- to criticize someone unfairly or excessively.
Usage examples:
“I feel dumped on at work because I get yelled at for every little thing that goes wrong.”
“My friend dumped all her problems on me.”
“My spouse dumped his/her frustrations on me.”
“My coworker dumped on me because he/she was in a bad mood.”
“My husband dumped the big container of creamed corn on my head.”
Dumped On: You don’t need a definition or explanatory sentences. You have been there. You saw it. You heard it. You felt it. You might have even smelled it. I think you know what I mean.
You probably wanted to yell at them. Throw something at them. Criticize, curse, cuss, and dump on them a thousand-fold in return. You might have even prepared a return package.
At college, some upperclassmen dumped a bowl of spaghetti on my head. It was not accidental. They thought it was funny. Throughout my adult life, I have known the sting of being maligned, disparaged, mistreated, and criticized. Most of it was unnecessary and excessive. It still hurt.
I yelled, stomped off, let it boil over inside of me, became full of anger and bitterness. Sometimes I acted like Jesus. I just did not answer a word. I just stared a holy hole right through them. That is where the imitation of Christ ended.
I wish I had done better. I wish I had paid closer attention to Jesus’ example and instructions. I would have progressed in learning how to love first and most. Others would have benefitted.
How do you Love First and Love Most when you are the one dumped on?
I will pause here for you to consider your response.
Being dumped on creates a dilemma. It’s as messy of a situation as finding creamed corn on your face and in your hair. Do you react in kind? Do you ignore it as if it never happened?
What is the proper Love First, Love Most response? If that is not important to you, then whatever comes next does not matter.
What is the right Love First, Love Most response to someone who has just dumped on you? Or dumped on you, again? Or in the past?
I honestly do not know. I have accidentally dumped creamed corn on my precious wife. I know to say I am sorry. That I am a klutz. That I deserve torture or banishment to the doghouse. That I can write a humorous article about it someday.
But what does the person do who got the creamed corn dumped on them?
Here is the advice written into the cover leaflet of the Bible my parents gave to me as I headed off to college.
“Whatever course of study you pursue, our prayer is that this will always be your #1 Textbook.”
The #1 Textbook has an answer to our question,
Blessed are you when others dump on you…Rejoice and be glad. Your heavenly reward will be great.
When dumped on, we bless. When put down, we endure. When slandered, we encourage.
When Jesus was reviled and dumped on, he did not retaliate. When He suffered, He did not threaten, but continued entrusting Himself to the One who judges fairly. Jesus bore our self-centered sinfulness on the cross so that we might live as instruments of his love.
Jesus LIVES inside you to LEAD you to others He intends to LOVE through you.
Getting dumped on is hard. Not retaliating in words or actions is even harder.
I am not declaring it to be easy to be dumped on emotionally and not let it ruin your day or your life. I am announcing it is worth it to love and not retaliate. Do you want to be bitter or be a blessing? The key is in your focus.
We become like the one we gaze upon (#1 Textbook).
I love how Martha Snell Nicholson phrased an important lesson in her poem, The Thorn. She found a way to see love while living a life of chronic illness, much of it as an invalid.
I stood a mendicant of God before His royal throne
And begged him for one priceless gift, which I could call my own.
I took the gift from out His hand, but as I would depart
I cried, “But Lord this is a thorn and it has pierced my heart.”
This is a strange, a hurtful gift, which Thou hast given me.
He said, “My child, I give good gifts, and gave My best to thee.”
I took it home and though at first the cruel thorn hurt sore,
As long years passed I learned at last to love it more and more.
I learned He never gives a thorn without this added grace,
He takes the thorn to pin aside the veil which hides His face.
When you get dumped on, it’s an opportunity to see the face of the One who loves you first and most. It’s a far better view for your life than focusing on the face of the one who dumped on you.
There is Someone who loves you with a steadfast, everlasting love. It comes without malignment, disparagement, mistreatment, or criticism. God accepts you the way you are. He never loves you less. Focus on Him.
I am praying we all get better at Love First and Love Most.
“BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” I gotta run. I hear a dump truck headed this way!
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 