CONCERNS and COMPLAINTS

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 219

What do you complain about? How often do you complain?

If the answers are ‘Everything’ and “All the Time,’ then there might be a problem with the complainer. Just sayin’.

We all complain too much and too often.

Raindrops keep fallin’ on my head
But that doesn’t mean my eyes
Will soon be turnin’ red
Crying’s not for me
‘Cause I’m never gonna stop the rain
By complainin’
Because I’m free
Nothing’s worryin’ me

It won’t be long ’til happiness
Steps up to greet me (Raindrops Keep Falling On MY Head, B.J. Thomas, by Burt Bacharach)

We can never stop the rain by complainin’, but the rain never stops us from complainin’.

Some people complain about everything…circumstances, what other people do or say, health, food, service, weather, length of a sermon, brevity of a concert, life. It is always someone else’s fault.

Chronic complainers are never satisfied. The traffic is horrible, the airport delay is infuriating, the co-workers are imbeciles, the movie is bad, the games are fixed, the government is lying, the food is better at some other place. Venters seek validation for their anger or frustration.

Sadly, complaining usually makes both the complainer and the listeners feel worse. Also, it is contagious.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

This is from a recent post on a neighborhood chat group: “I am trying not to be TOTALLY rude, BUT…” If this were her PARTIALLY rude comment, then I wonder what the TOTALLY rude post would have been.

Last week I heard a woman in the store say, “I hate to complain about this, BUT…” How much does someone have to HATE saying something so much that they DO NOT SAY it?

I know a mother who fielded some sibling complaints and told her daughter to share the computer tablet. “Be kind and share, or you will have no friends.

The daughter’s response, “That’s ok. I like to play by myself.” That apple does not fall far from her grandfather’s tree.

We have all experienced the soul-crushing revelation of tough times. Some are causes for concerns and complaints.

Complaints-the dissatisfaction or annoyance with someone or about something. Complaining can evolve into grumbling or whining or claims of unfairness.

Legendary Football Coach Lou Holtz made an interesting observation. “Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.”

The Greek word translated “complainer” means literally “one who is discontented with his lot in life.” It is similar to the word grumbler. Finding fault in others is not a spiritual gift. Neither is discontentment with one’s circumstances in life.

The first complainer was Adam who, after he and Eve disobeyed, complained to God about “the woman You put here with me.” Adam’s son, Cain, grumbled about his brother’s good deeds. The faith-honoring Moses complained to God at the burning bush regarding how hard his assignment in life would be. Later he complained about the Israelites’ grumbling about his leadership and his God.

King David complained often about his dire circumstances in the Psalms. Grief-stricken Job complained about his life and Jeremiah complained about his nation’s spiritual and moral decline.

The #1 Textbook expects us not to grumble or complain.

So, is complaining wrong or acceptable? The #1 Textbook says it depends on your situation and motive.

It is not wrong to complain TO GOD, but it is wrong to complain ABOUT GOD.

Biblically, the wrong kind of complaining ABOUT GOD is referred to as grumbling. Grumbling complains that God is not really good, fair, faithful, wise, or loving to you. It accuses God of doing something you consider to be wrong.

The Biblical expression for the right type of complaints TO GOD are often called laments, expressions of grief and sorrow. I once read where a theologian described the difference between lamenting and grumbling. In a lament, you talk to God, not about God—implying that you still trust God.

The lamenting complaint does not accuse God of wrongdoing. It is an expression of trouble, grief, or sorrow where the complainer pours out his/her heart to God for help and hope.

The #1 Textbook indicates there are times to cry out or complain to God about the pain, unfairness, disappointments, troubles, and confusion in life. It is the voice of a child to a loving parent, a cry for help, a hope for better times.

“I cry out to the Lord. I plead for mercy. I pour out my heart in complaint TO GOD. I tell God all my troubles” (Psalm 142:1-2). David continues his complaint that “no one cares for my soul. but You (God) will deal bountifully with me. You are my only refuge.”

God understands. God understood Daved, Job, Jeremiah, and understands you. God allowed you to be in this situation. God is the only one who can cause it to work out for good. So, complaining TO GOD is not just okay to do, it is encouraged by God. God already knows how you feel. He knows what you want. God will listen as you work through your complaints.

My cousin, Toni, was the princess of our family. She was beautiful, smart, strong, and kind. She was blessed with a good husband and two wonderful young boys. She developed terminal cancer in her early forties. She was devastated, as were the rest of our family.

When I visited her in the hospital, Toni asked if she could be honest with me. She said she was so mad at God but felt so guilty saying it. She cried as she poured out her heart about how unfair this was. She continued to weep as she worried about her sons. She asked for my counsel.

I suggested she just tell God what she had just told me. Toni seemed shocked. I shrugged and said, “It is not like He does not already know how really feel.”

I encouraged her again before we prayed together. Talk it out with God. He can handle your complaints. God will not love you any less. The more you complain TO GOD, the more foolish it will seem since He is the only one who can help you.

EVERTHING GOD DOES IS ALWAYS WISE, RIGHT, AND GOOD.

Everything! Always! The more you express your complaints TO GOD, the more you will end up trusting Him, as Toni did. Her complaints honored God as the God of her trust. Keep telling God no one cares for your soul until you realize how foolish and wrong that is. God never ceases to care for you. Never.

As the sorrowful Job declared, “Even though God slays me, I will still trust Him.”

We can complain to others, but they cannot help us in times of trouble, grief, and sorrow. When we complain TO GOD, we realize we are not alone, not misunderstood, not without care.

It is part of our fallen human nature to complain about things in life which displease us. It becomes ingrained in our attitudes and words. We start young and, sadly, never grow out of it.

We want what we want, the way we want it, and when we want it. Anything less is deemed unfair, unacceptable, undesirable. I will repeat, complaining is not a spiritual gift no matter how often it is used.

So, what is at the heart of our complaints? We all want our complaints to be heard. Ironically, none of us want to listen to the complaints of others, especially if they are directed at us. We just want others to listen to our complaints. Afterall, this world is about me. Ok, you and me.

Complaining is connected to spiritual amnesia, forgetfulness of God’s goodness. It is more of a revelation about the condition of your heart than an account of your circumstances.

The antidote to grumbling and complaining is to REMEMBER.

 “This I call to mind and remember so I see the one ray of hope. The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His compassion never ends. God’s great love is new every morning. Great is God’s faithfulness. My soul claims the Lord as my inheritance; therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks for Him. It is good both to hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord” (Lamentations 3:21-26).

Grumbling and complaints are indicators that we are not trusting in God and His goodness. Our words, attitude, and actions question God’s love and wisdom. It is an expression of how we truly feel at the time…that we can do a better job of running things than God does.

If you have a man-sized god, then your anxiety level will never get better. Your complaints will fall on deaf ears. “Why should we humans grumble and complain?” (#1 Textbook).

Your complaining convinces others you are not in control of things. Life will be much better when you realize that. Talk TO GOD who does control all things. He might not give an explanation for your circumstances, but He will give perspective.

God did not give the complaining Job an explanation. God did point Job’s attention to creation, the stars, and the animals for perspective. It was a call for Job and us to remember. There is no unfairness with God. Only beauty and blessings.

Abraham Lincoln once illustrated perspective of life, “You can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.”

God pointed the bewildered Joseph, the complaining Moses, and the lamenting Jeremiah to the future. Every event in life has a future purpose.

“The Biblical characters and their circumstances were written for our instruction that through endurance and encouragement of God’s Word, we might have hope in our circumstances” (Romans 15:4).

Their faith encourages us to trust God in all things. Toni’s faith still encourages me today.

If you must, complain TO GOD, not about God. Your continued trust in the midst of unanswered questions will be used by God to encourage another struggler to endure in hope.

Winsday Wisdom: Our thoughts and words are a reflection of our heart. Complain less. Instead of complaining more about all the messed-up things in life, be more grateful for all the troubles you do not have.

“The things about which we are tempted to complain may be the very answer to our prayer to be made like Jesus”–Elisabeth Elliot.

Everything God does is wise, right, and good. Everything. All the Time. Trust Him.