Winsday Wisdom 229
I was recently reminded of the wonderful benefits of calling God. It began with one of several calls to AT&T customer service.
Regrettably and ashamedly, I have been a long, long-time customer of AT&T. I might have been born that way. I have remained a miniscule part of their empire’s vast bankroll out of a false sense of loyalty or a reluctance to change my ways or just financial stupidity.
Please do not send me information on better options. Best network. Best phones. Best coverage. Best plans. Best price. I can read and I can do math. I am just strange about these things and, therefore, not very well-off financially.
For years, I have experienced overcharges, hidden charges, and extra charges. Over those years, I have spent more time with AT&T customer service than with some of my grandkids.
Anyway, last month’s charges were the straw that broke this camel’s back. The time came where I could identify with the Steve Martin character in the remake production of the movie, Father of the Bride. Faced with the enormity of additional charges for his daughter’s upcoming wedding, George Stanley Banks went bonkers in a supermarket, deciding to tear open a package of hotdog buns, and pay for only the number he needed.
Movie script:
George Banks is in the supermarket tearing open two hotdog bun packages saying, “Mellowing out is not in the cards.”
Supermarket stock boy: Excuse me sir, what are you doing?
George: I’ll tell you what I’m doing. I wanna buy eight hotdogs, and eight hotdog buns to go with them. But nobody sells eight hotdog buns; they only sell twelve. I end up paying for buns I don’t need. So, I am removing the superfluous buns!
Stock boy: Sir, you’ll still have to pay for all twelve buns. They’re not marked individually.
George: Yeah. And do ya wanna know why?! Because some big-shot over at the wiener company got together with some big-shot over at the bun company and decided to rip off the American public! Because they think the American public is a bunch of trusting nitwits who will pay for things they don’t need rather than make a stink.
Supermarket Assistant Manager: Get me security!
George: Well, they’re not ripping off this nitwit anymore because I’m not paying for one more thing I don’t need. George Banks is saying NO!
Stock boy: Who’s George Banks?
George: ME!
Assistant Manager: Why don’t we just calm down now, sir?
George: I’ll tell you why WE don’t calm down because you are not excited. It takes two people for a WE to calm down, doesn’t it?
Assistant Manager: If you do not pipe down and pay for those buns, I am going to call the police.
George: Right! (as he marches away with his shopping cart)
Next scene: George is sitting in a police cell. “That was the low point.”
I had reached that same frustration level. This was my do-or-die moment with AT&T. A jail cell without a phone might be a relief from the stressful agitation.
Admittedly, the customer agents did not take the confrontation any more seriously than the clerk questioning George. The supervisor asked me to confirm what was on her computer screen: “What is your name?” … “What is your problem? … “You still have to pay.”
Through an extended time with a customer agent, the overcharge was corrected, and I was offered a new phone plan which drastically reduced my monthly bill. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
The next month I was billed the previous overcharged amount. That was corrected through another lengthy conversation with a customer agent and his supervisor. I have to admit that AT&T never flinched at the possibility of losing a few crumbs from their oversized cookie jar. They just got tired of staying on the phone for so long.
A few days later, AT&T automatically withdrew payment from my checking account for the previous excessive bill. Another call and another supervisor with a short bypass to the legal department to report possible fraud led to this tired, frustrated, but satisfied George Banks enjoying his eight hotdog buns ripped out of the twelve-bun phone plan.
I do not recommend AT&T or my attitude. I do have some important thoughts regarding our needy conversations with God.
- God never refuses to answer our calls.
- God never places us on hold.
- God never hangs up on us.
- God never disconnects the call.
- God never hits the Mute button.
- God never needs to transfer the call to a supervisor.
- God never deletes our messages.
- God never blocks our calls.
- God never gets frustrated with a frustrated caller.
- God never charges us for the everlasting redemption plan already fully paid by Jesus.
While I am talking about phone calls, I am going to share a story which might not seem funny to anyone except me. I admit I have a strange and somewhat warped sense of humor.
A friend told me of a Bible conference he attended where an old preacher shared a stirring missionary message about Paul hearing the Macedonian call. “Come over and help us” (Acts 16).
A young college student, stirred by the message, and, perhaps, a little caught up in the moment, was assigned the closing prayer. He waxed on for a long time. “Lord, we hear the call from Nigeria. They need our help. Lord, we hear the call from Sudan. They need our help. Lord, we hear the call from Turkmenistan. They need our help. Lord, we hear the call to help…(many countries were named).”
Sometime during the student’s prolonged prayer, the old preacher stepped to the microphone and interrupted the prayer with these words, “My Lord, what a phone bill! It’s time to hang up. Amen. Everyone is dismissed.”
I have been in a few extended church prayer times where I was privately asking God to disconnect the call. Okay, forgive me, Lord.
Did you realize that God calls us?
Adam and Eve heard the voice of God calling them and tried to hide from Him. They acted as if they were not at home. Moses heard God’s call from a bush extension. He replied, “Who are you?” Samuel heard God repeatedly calling his name and number until Samuel answered, “Yes, Lord, I’m listening.”
God always calls first and most. God calls us to live with purpose and love. When God calls, He calls ordinary people who feel inadequate for His higher love challenge.
God calls to have a relationship with you. He calls to say, “I love you. Follow Me.”
Jesus LIVES inside of you to LEAD you to others He intends to LOVE through you.
The divine call plan is 24/7 with a lifetime guarantee. No hidden charges. No additional fees or taxes. No wait times. No long distance costs. No places without coverage. No over the limit fees. Jesus paid it all, once and for all.
“God gives Himself and all He has to those who call for Him” (Romans 10:12).
Calling God is easy and beneficial. Whether it is a 911 emergency call or just a call to chat, God always listens, always cares, always helps, always saves.
God promised, “I will Never, Never, Never, Never, no matter whatever happens, I will Never turn loose of you or hang up on you. Never!” (Hebrews 13:5). (The Greek superlative uses five negative particles to emphasize the strongest possible negative that there is no possible way under any circumstances that God will disconnect from us.)
Whatever you choose to do with your cell phone call plan, this Winsday Wisdom encourages you to be God-centered and God-saturated.
I HOPE THE NEXT TIME YOU PICK UP YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU WILL THINK ABOUT JESUS.
Whether Smartphone or Speed dial, use your calls to Love First and Love Most. Everything else is a distraction from the most important thing in life.
Thank you, Lord, that You never disconnect any of my calls for help.
OK, Mr. Banks. WE need to calm down!
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 