DO YOU LOVE ME?

WINSDAY WISDOM 231

Do you love me? What a question!

The answer to that question carries a lot of commitment and responsibility in a relationship. In some cases, the question can also generate a lot of anxiety.

In my younger, single days, that question rattled my nerves. It always marked the moment I began to back away from a good relationship. It was the sign that started me on a long walk back to Solitaryville.  

In later years, I enjoyed the scene with Jack Nicholson and Shirley MacLaine in the movie, Terms of Endearment. It was not funny to any female, but I could identify with the sentiment.

In the movie, Nicholson’s character is a former astronaut bachelor about to leave on a plane. Shirley’s character was his next-door neighbor who had just told him she loved him,

Shirley: Do you have any reaction to my telling you I love you?

Jack: I was just inches from a clean getaway.

Shirley: Well, you’re stuck, so face it.

Jack: Well, I don’t know what else to say except my stock answer.

Shirley: Which is?

Jack: I love you too, kid.

There came a time I told my future wife that I loved her. She just stood there in shock. After an awkward pause, I asked if she had anything she wanted to say. She responded, “I love you too, kid.” (Funny girl!)

Well, I can always fall back on the Contours’ hit single revived in the classic movie Dirty Dancing…Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)?

Tell me, (Tell me), Tell me
Do you love me? (Do you love me?)
Now, do you love me? (Do you love me?)
Now, do you love me? (Do you love me?)
Now that I can dance! (Watch me now, hey!)

Do you love me? That becomes an even more important issue when asked by Jesus.

When Jesus asked that question of Peter, I imagine Peter thought he was headed to Solitaryville or worse. Peter knew he had a chance to fulfill his pledge of dying loyalty to Jesus, but he blew it. He caved in big time. Spiritual failure.

Have you ever felt that way? I have. Some of you might be sitting on the sidelines because of your failures. You might go through the practice motions, but you have benched yourself. How can you say you love Jesus? How could Jesus still love you?

Do YOU love ME?

Jesus followed the question with a simple statement we can all understand. “Follow Me. Trace my likeness into your life…Love others the way I love you” (John 21).

Do YOU Love ME? When Jesus asks that question, it becomes the most important question you will ever be asked.

The question is about a Person (Jesus) and the question is Personal to YOU. Not one of us is exempt from this question. It is not only the most important thing in life, but it also determines your life’s earthly impact and your eternal destination.

Let’s begin with some context for this question from the #1 Textbook. Jesus was crucified and risen, now preparing early morning breakfast on the shoreline for the disciples fishing about one hundred yards away on the lake.

Jesus had just voluntarily laid down his life for them. However, those dear friends of Jesus had bailed and failed to love Him at the very moment His love was demonstrated for them.

One disciple, Peter, had previously promised he would remain loyal to death even if all the others turned away. While Jesus laid down His life for Peter and the others, Peter denied three times any affiliation with Jesus and cursed at the suggestion he loved Him. All of that was done in the sight and hearing of Jesus.

Peter was excited and overjoyed at seeing the living Jesus. He swam to shore, embraced Jesus, and ate some breakfast with Him. As they sat around the fire, surely, there were thoughts of the stinging similarity with another fire where he warmed himself a few days earlier and denied any love for Jesus. When faced with a question about devotion to Jesus, Peter declared, “I do not even know the man.”

Peter’s mind must have been racing and his heart pounding. Then Jesus looked right into the eyes of Peter and asked, “Do you love me?”

Do YOU love ME?

I invite you to place yourself into that scene. Be there. Feel the atmosphere. Breakfast and laughter. Joy and apprehension. This Jesus had proven He could read the minds and hearts of His followers (John 16:30). Jesus knew what they were thinking and saying without any audible sounds. Likewise, He knows your actions and words from this past week. He knows your thoughts right now.

Here, around this shoreline campfire, is the one Person who loves you and the others to the utmost. He has always loved you first and most. Now, Jesus serves you breakfast with His nail-scarred hands.

What was Peter thinking and feeling? What are you thinking and feeling right now with the eyes of the Lord locked on you?

I imagine Peter’s thoughts were jumbled in his mind. His heart raced. His palms were sweating. His stomach churned. His eyes moistened. Maybe, his lips were quivering as He wondered what Jesus really thought of him.

Their eyes meet again, and Jesus breaks the silence with an unforgettable question followed by a loving command. Three times.

Do YOU love ME?

In the original Greek translation of their conversation, Jesus and Peter use different words for “love.” I think that coincides with the varied spectrum of definitions we use in our culture when saying the word, “love.”

This is my paraphrase of the conversation.

Jesus says, “Do you love Me with this unconditional, unlimited, unfailing, unending kind of love I have for you?”

Peter responds, “Well, I really like you a lot, like a friend.”

Jesus repeats His question, “Do you love Me with this giving up yourself for the other person kind of love?”

Peter’s second reply echoes his first, “I really like you.”

For the third question, Jesus changes the verb to Peter’s definition of love. “Do you like Me as much as you say?”

Peter responds, “Lord, you know what my heart feels…You know the truth. How can I say I love you the way You love me? You know I cannot say that after what I have done.”

Yes, Jesus knew what was in Peter’s heart. He knows the truth of what is in my heart and in your heart right now.

We know that the most important thing in life is to love God with all your heart and to love others as yourself. We know that the way to love like Jesus is to give up yourself for the good of the other person. We know that true love will always love first and love most.

And we know, we fall far short of the Lord’s definition of true love. We fail to show what we say. But whatever we say or do or believe or define as love, the real definition of love is defined and demonstrated by Jesus. That is the divine standard. That is the only measurement of genuine love.

Many poets, authors, songwriters, lovers, and playboys have added their descriptions of love. A movie and song declared Love is a Many-Splendored Thing. Micky and Sylvia sang Love is Strange. The tragic Harvard Love Story ends with the famous line, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.” The ancient Greek philosopher, Plato, was a little more skeptical when he declared, “Love is a serious mental disease.”

Shakespeare wrote, “Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” That is closer to the truth. Genuine love does not alter with the changing circumstances; it is fixed and unchanging. It does not ebb and flow like the tides nor does it increase or decrease like the winds.

But all romantic and philosophical expressions pale in comparison to Jesus’ definition.

The #1 Textbook describes a true love that suffers long, lasts forever, and never fails. The book of Jesus’ love strongly declares that without His kind of love, we are nothing.

Whatever its definition, we know love is “patient and kind and longsuffering and full of mercy and forgiving” (1 Corinthians 13).

“Here is how we know and understand the love of God, because He laid down His life for us” (1 John 3:16). “God demonstrated His own love for us, in while we were still sinful enemies, Jesus Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

The true definition of love is a Person. That Person is the Lord Jesus Christ. He is Love personified. The love of Jesus never alters, never changes, never lessens, never ends, never fails, no matter who is the recipient and no matter what circumstances are involved. Jesus always loves first and most.

Jesus asks you again, “Do YOU love ME?

What is your answer based on Jesus’ definition and demonstration of love? Do you just love the idea of going to heaven in much the same way you choose a vacation destination. You prefer heaven to hell. Do you like the atmosphere of a church in the same manner you choose a restaurant. It meets your needs and preferences. That is not love.

Do YOU love JESUS? Is He first and foremost in your heart? Is He before and above everyone and everything else?

Do YOU love ME? I state again that this is a very personal question.

Jesus had renamed the disciple as Peter, the rock. He now addresses the three-time denier as Simon (the shaky one), how he was known before he followed Jesus.

The question is about a personal restoration of your relationship to Jesus, just as it was for Simon Peter. Yes, the Lord knows how much or how little you love Him. What is His response to Simon’s failure and our shortcomings?

“Go love others the way I have loved you.“

Jesus LIVES in you to LEAD you to others He intends to LOVE through you.

Yes, this is personal. Love is about a Person, and it is to be directed to other persons.

Jesus did not tell Simon to repent for all his denials and failures. He did not tell Simon to have a pity party or take a backrow seat. Jesus told Peter to go show others the love of Jesus that transformed his life.

You cannot love others like some Simon character, the person you used to be. What was true for Peter, is true for you and me. The only way to love others is to become the person the Lord has made you.

“This is my commandment, that you love others just as I have loved you” (John 15:12). “We know what real love is from Christ’s example in dying for us. So, we also ought to lay down our lives for others” (1 John 3:16).

There it is. Do YOU love ME? Then trace Jesus’ likeness into your life. “Be imitators of God and walk in love just as Jesus Christ has loved us by giving Himself up for us” (Ephesians 5:1-2). Imitate Jesus. Be a mime. Become a tracing tablet. Be a personal demonstration of Christ’s love.

Showing love is not about comparison to anyone else. When Peter looked back at John, he asked, “But what about him?” Jesus replied, “What does that have to do with you? Nothing.”

Loving first and most has nothing to do with who the other person is or how they act. It is never altered by what he/she says or does not say, nor by what he/she does or does not do.

Jesus’ question and command is personal. It is solely about YOU taking your love for God and love for others to a higher level. Love is about delight, not duty. It is about personal devotion, not people comparisons.

This question is about YOU. Do YOU love Jesus? Will you lay down your life for others?

YOU WILL NEVER TRULY LOVE GOD AND OTHERS UNTIL YOU ACT LIKE THE PERSON GOD MADE YOU TO BECOME.

I close this time of reflection with a quote from J.C. Ryle, an old preacher now in heaven.

“OF ALL THE THINGS THAT WILL SURPRISE US WHEN WE AWAKE IN HEAVEN, I BELIEVE WE WILL BE MOST SURPRISED THAT WE DID NOT LOVE JESUS CHRIST MORE BEFORE WE DIED.”

Jesus meets you today where He met the heart of Peter on that resurrection morning…back at the beginning. Back where this relationship all started. For Simon Peter, it began beside the lake after a successful fishing trip.

It is the loving Lord coming to where you are and saying again, “I love you to the utmost. My love for YOU is unconditional, unlimited, unfailing, unending. It is longsuffering and everlasting.”

Do YOU love ME?

It is one simple, yet life-changing question with one simple and equally life-changing command. “Go love others as I have loved you.”

JESUS IS THE GOD OF ANOTHER CHANCE…and another and another as needed. Go love Jesus and others more today than yesterday and even more tomorrow.

“At the heart of the Christian story, it is a relationship with Jesus. It is a love affair. It is not a course in systematic theology.” (Alistair Begg)

AT THE HEART OF THE CHRISTIAN STORY, IT IS A LOVE AFFAIR WITH JESUS.

There is coming a moment when we will all wish we had loved Jesus and others more.

Let’s take our love to a higher level today. Keep reminding yourself why you love Jesus!

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day! — Glorious Day (Casting Crowns lyrics)