ARE YOU LONESOME END TONIGHT? (tribute to Coach Bill Blankenship)

Before I share some thoughts about loneliness, I want to comment on my middle brother who just recently retired from his successful career as a highly acclaimed football coach. I am extremely proud of him and the many awards. Bill was one of the innovators of the “no-huddle offense.” I was able to stand in the shadows and observe his remarkable mind for the game of football, and even more importantly, his vast positive impact on the lives of so many people.

Bill became a high school and college football coach, Hall of Fame stuff…a legend.

How did my little brother become one of the greatest coaches? Here is a peak into the real behind the scenes story.

While others pour accolades on his accomplishments, I tend to reminisce about the early years which shaped him into the man he has become. In the beginning of his football life, Bill was lonely…very lonely.

Although Bill played quarterback in college, he began his career as the “Lonesome End” in our family football games.

I loved playing football with my cousins in our grandparents’ yard. The field was only six to ten yards wide, but we were small enough that it provided plenty of room for us to run, pass, and tackle.

Jimmy was the oldest and he divided the teams. He was our Captain Hero. The big day came when little Bill was allowed to join in the gridiron fun. Actually, our mom told us to let him play or else we would all be grounded from outside sports. We chose Bill’s inclusion on the team over our joining him for an afternoon nap.

Bill was finally given a place on the athletic field. This induction followed his weekly rugged astronaut torture (I mean, training) overseen by my friend and me.

HARD! SMART! TOUGH! That was the challenge Coach Bill placed before his team at every game. It became the team mantra. Where did that phrase originate? Astronaut Training.

His astronaut tests focused on being able to navigate a straight course following the centrifugal force of the merry-go-round. He was required to show stamina by hanging on the monkey bars while being pelted with foreign objects.

The dangerous heights of the swing set challenged his fears. The claustrophobic experience of a space capsule was mimicked by burial in the pole vault sand pit. Every session concluded with the “Right Stuff” challenge of making good decisions while facing the pain and pressure from outside objects, specifically his brother and my friend.

What if the Klingons forcefully tackle you…again and again? Astronauts never quit! Never!

The isolated inaction of the side yard gridiron became a nice break from the regulated punishment schedule of our space agency.

Jimmy had a brilliant idea. He told Bill to be the “Lonesome End,” a new formation adopted from The United States Military Academy Army Football team. Their coach developed this innovative concept as part of his offensive strategy.

This was how Captain Hero explained the very important role to Bill. What was he supposed to do? There were four things to remember:

(1) Line up very wide, far away from the rest of us (on that small playing surface).

(2) Never come join in the huddle (just stay out there).

(3) Be ready to catch a pass (which will never be thrown even though no one ever defended against him).

(4) Switch sides when the other team gets the ball and play “Lonesome End” for their team.

Bill stood by the hedges, never came into the huddle to hear what play we were running, never had the ball thrown to him, and then turned around and faced the opposite direction while standing by the hedges.

I can still see him getting into his stance…every play. He ran out ready to catch a pass…every play. Alignment and Assignment and have a good Attitude…every play. (This is the real preparatory source for his future in coaching…and he was one of the innovators of the no-huddle offense long before it became the new norm of our gridiron pastime. Where do you think he got that idea?)

Give him credit. He never complained, which is something he learned in astronaut exercises. He even got in on the hand slaps when the team celebrated a touchdown.

Every night, Elvis Presley would sing tired little Willie to sleep. “Are you lonesome tonight? Are you sorry we drifted apart? You know someone said that the world is a stage, and each must play a part. Is your heart filled with pain? Will you come back again? Tell me, Bill. are you lonesome tonight?”

Welcome to Big Time Football. Is it any wonder that Coach Bill always called the plays when he was coaching? Kinda ironic. Just like wimping out over being an astronaut. Dad stopped the astronaut training after too many trips to the doctor.

Bill traded “The Right Stuff” for “The Legend of the Lonesome End.” He seemed happy.

I think he still practices that “look like you are a team player while doing absolutely nothing” for his wife, Angie. She has placed him back into astronaut training. How ironic. The Circle of Life.

The Army Football Team’s first “Lonesome End” was Bill Carpenter.

The team’s innovative tactic was to align Carpenter, their split-end receiver, near the far sideline and leave him outside of huddles. Today, most teams use wide receivers that way in the “no-huddle offense” while signaling the play from the sideline.

Carpenter played on an undefeated West Point team as well as being awarded All-American status. He was inducted into the College Hall of Fame. Carpenter was later awarded The Distinguished Service Cross for saving his unit during the Viet Nam War when he radioed for an air strike on his own position.

Bill was accepted into the Air Force Academy. Although he never served in the military, there were several July 4^th air strikes called in on his toys’ position. Sometimes, you must blow up the model airplanes in order to save a few of the toy soldiers.

Once, my best friend Mike launched a croquet ball strike right into the chest of Bill. He was warned and he saw it coming. I think he was confused about the rules of whether he was allowed to move or not. He did not move!

The loud thud was somewhat frightening. Fortunately, the severely inflicted pain punishment of the astronaut assignments paid off. The “Lonesome Croquet Player” standing near the hedges survived. He never let go of his mallet.

Bill was later awarded the Popsicle Purple Heart.

It was a little sad listening to the sound of the Bee Gees coming from his bedroom that night.

“How can you mend a broken heart? How can a loser ever win? Please help me mend my broken chest and let me live again.”

My mother once defended Bill to some football critics by claiming she did not raise any “dummies.” I believe Mom originated the famous quote by Colonel Jessup in the movie, A Few Good Men, when she punctuated the end of the discussion with those frightened fans.

“You can’t handle the truth.”

I never did win an argument with Mom, so I will just state the facts about the son she called Cool Breeze.

He went through months of weekly astronaut torture without complaint. He played Lonesome End on both teams for several hours. He watched our fireworks blow up the objects he had spent weeks building. He stood immoveable as a hard croquet ball traveling at a high rate of speed smashed into his chest. He married a Special Ed teacher.

I rest my case.

“Yes, Mom, I know you birthed him, and he is not a dummy. Yes Ma’am, I understand his underwear is not a matter of national security. No, I cannot handle the truth.”

Do you ever feel as if you are the “Lonesome End?”

Loneliness is the state of distress or discomfort that results when one perceives a gap between one’s desires for social connection and actual experiences of it.

Loneliness is much more than just feeling sad and isolated. It lies at the core of unhappiness, manifesting itself in anxiety, depression, envy, and a sense of unworthiness.

That sense of “there is no one else who cares about me” can cause us to withdraw even more or even shut down emotionally.

Loneliness can hurt. Feeling unloved. Loss of human contact.

It happened during the Covid quarantine, and it happens in times of sickness and death. Sometimes loneliness is self-imposed, but usually it is a dreaded companion to solitude. Loneliness can be generated by a long period of time or a vast measurement of distance.

The Beatles sang the depressing song about Elanor Rigby and Father McKenzie.

All the lonely people, where do they all come from?                                                               

All the lonely people, where do they all belong?

Of course, being alone and being lonely are not the same.

One can feel lonely because of new surroundings or different people. One can experience thoughts of loneliness while in a crowd.

Even with the increase of social media platforms to keep us connected to others, we can still feel “disconnected.” There can be a sense of feeling “left out” or “unimportant” or “rejected.”

Henry David Thoreau wrote that most people live lives of quiet desperation.

Do you have lonely nights filled with tears and fears? Do you sit alone at home and cry?

For some of you, the loss of a loved one has brought loneliness into your life. Someone is missing. Share those feelings with someone with a compassionate heart. Others have been where you are now.

For others, self-isolation might be a matter of preference. It can also be an environment for creativity and deep thoughts, enjoyment of reading and music.

Whether by choice or by circumstance, loneliness can be used to forge a deeper relationship with God and His Word. God never leaves you alone, even when you are unaware or unappreciative of His presence.

Only God can solve the loneliness issues in your life. You were created to have an intimate relationship with God. That closeness can expand to others in the circle of your family or friends.

All through the #1 Textbook there are reminders of God’s ever-present concern and compassion. Paul expressed it this way, “No one stood with me. Everyone forgot me…but the Lord stood with me and strengthened me” (2 Timothy 4:16-17).

Jesus promised to never leave or forsake you. “I will be with you always.”

Loneliness can also be a reminder to Love first and Love most. There are many lonely people out there. Send out a prayer, a text, a card, or a call.

Others are navigating through their wilderness solitude. You have been there; maybe you are still there. Reach out. What if they do not reach back? Give them space and send them love. Pray for them. They are just where you are.

Loneliness is real, but it does not have to be forever. It is the wakeup call that God has someone out there for you. If that special someone has passed, you will miss them to the point you might feel as if you cannot survive. That is a result of loving them.

A new season in life has new joys and love. Eyes up!

Solitude is different than loneliness. It does not have to be a lonely time. Engage your mind and heart in things that elevate your soul.

Our greatest relationships still lie in the future. Loneliness has an expiration date. If not here on earth, then in the next life where love will only increase in joy and capacity.

There might be moments or seasons of life where you want to be the “Lonesome End.” Maybe you feel as if you have been assigned that position by the rest of humanity.

Stay in the game. You have a choice. You have a standing invitation to join the huddle.

The loss of a person(s) or place will hurt, but loneliness can also be a pathway to greater joy.

Loneliness is a season in the journey. It can have a good ending. Someone is praying for you.

For the record, many athletes have been inspired by “Hard! Smart! Tough!”…the result of lonely astronaut training.

Many football teams enjoy fun and success with the “no-huddle” offense…the result of innovative thinking while spending time in a lonesome place.

So let me say it loud and clear for all the nay-sayers out there.

OUR MOM DID NOT RAISE ANY DUMMIES!