OOPS! I WAS WRONG! (or is that Fake News?)

Customer Service Headaches! I have documented my frustrations several times. This one has a different resolution. It was shocking!

My exasperation with poor customer service usually involves the normal ruin-my-day suspects…phone companies and insurance agencies. Occasionally, a food provider messes up big time.

This week, it was my bank. I do not need to elaborate on the forty-six-minute call for assistance on a banking error I discovered in my monthly statement. I could fill the time with sarcastic humor regarding these serious faux paus.

I will just summarize the call for assistance to correct the matter: I talked/listened to the automated Annie (twice), one customer service rep disconnection, and then eight (Yes EIGHT) various “supervisors” in Customer Service, Claims, Personal Banking, Business Banking, Resolutions, Money Market Services, Escalation, and Research.

No one had the authorization or the understanding to help me.

Research finally understood the problem and transferred me back to Claims. As I explained the situation (again) to file an appeal, I made an interesting discovery. No, it was a shocking discovery!

This was not an “Eureka” shout of jubilation. Neither was it a “Watson, come here” communication breakthrough. I did not feel as if I were the Jeopardy contestant with a correct answer on the Daily Double nor the winning guest who solved The Wheel of Fortune puzzle.

I WAS WRONG!

The bank had already resolved the error. That line item had escaped my purview.

The conclusion hit me like a ton of bricks. My sarcastic frustration with the bank’s inability to understand and resolve my problem slowly shifted to personal embarrassment and panic.

Do I just hang up? Disconnect? Do I thank the last lady for her attempts at resolution while saying I will take care of the matter myself? Do I make a joke?

My mind froze, shocked by the realization of being wrong…for once.

“Sir…Sir…Are you still there? Are you still on the line?”

“Excuse me Ma’am. I believe I was wrong. The bank statement is correct. I just misread it. I am sorry for your trouble (and the other seven representatives who are having a worse day because of my subtle sarcasm about the inefficiencies of this bank’s resolution system). Thank you for your time.”

I WAS WRONG!

That happens far more than I admit. Family members, friends, co-workers, and enemies know I am wrong. Some tell me. Some cut off the relationship. Some put up with it.

I watched a movie this week where the star talked about how he argued with his now deceased wife but gave in on one issue about their child.

“We argued. For weeks.”

 And then one day she just said to me, “Why do you fight so hard when it means nothing to you?”

Why did you? “Because I thought I was right.”

And do you ever regret giving in?

“I regret…not giving in more often.”

Me, too!

I try to do what is right. I try to love and respect others. Sometimes, being right wins out over love and respect. I enjoy being proven right. Don’t you? Sure, you do. Why else do you continue the discussion, argument, debate, or fight.

But I have hurt too many hearts while insisting I am right.

That is Wrong!

In situations which take place in my “blind spots” of life, I just do not see that I am the one in the wrong.

And I do not like having that pointed out. I have always been embarrassed by corrections!

There have been moments where I had more egg on my face than this recent bank snafu.

In my world’s perspective, (1) people appear to be quick to point out where someone else is wrong, (2) ready to argue when their opinion or version of events is challenged, and (3) very reluctant to admit being wrong, even in trivial matters.

Adam and Eve set the tone for our natural reaction to our wrong action. Just as they did, I (we) make excuses and pass the buck. “It was not my fault…Do not blame me.”

Adam and Eve did wrong. They thought wrong and acted wrong. They became swamped with feelings of shame, loneliness, and the need to hide.

They were caught apple-red handed and stripped naked of all excuses. Adam was cornered hiding in the bushes. So, he sought to pass the blame…not once but twice (first to Eve and then to God).

Excuse #1: “It was the woman. It was what she wanted.… What was I supposed to do? Tell her ‘No’ and then listen to her pout and whine all night?”

Excuse #2: “God, you are the one who gave that woman…Eve…to be my wife. She was not my idea. I did not have this problem when it was just the animals and me.”

“It is NOT my fault.”

I believe that it is fairly universal for us to “see the sawdust in the eye of the other person while ignoring the ten-foot pole in our own eye” (#1 Textbook). We refuse to look in the mirror to see our own “blind spots.”

I think most of us do not like to be painted as being wrong. I certainly do not want to admit it.

And another thing…what about all those discussions, corrections, arguments, text battles, or world wars where you are right? Then you finally realize this is not going anywhere except to Disgust Corner or Depression Central? That is wrong. Stop. Learn to stop before it starts.

I read recently that some of the more destructive words in a relationship are, “All I said was…” I would add these words as a close second, “Maybe I messed up but you always…”

Exactly.

Some emotional experts say it is a sign of strength to admit when you are wrong. More importantly, Jesus said it was a basic and necessary element of love.

The only perfect one, Jesus, willingly died on a cross bearing “all our wrongs.”  He called it LOVE.

To all you out there and those close to me here, please forgive me for questioning, debating, arguing, or fighting when it was obvious to you that I was wrong.

I wish I had seen “my wrong” more often. I wish I had admitted “my wrong” each time. There are times I wish I had claimed “I am wrong” even when I was not.

“Whoever hides his wrongfulness will not be happy, but the one who admits his wrong and changes his attitude and actions will find a better life” (Proverbs 28:13).

I wish I had said more often, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

I hope to do better in the future.

Counsel to my soul:

I do not need to win every argument, debate, or discussion. I do not need to “prove” the other person wrong.

“A man convinced against his will…Is of the same opinion still.” (probably Samuel Butler used by Dale Carnegie and others).

Our difficulties in admitting personal wrong transcend our marital differences, political battle lines, and religious dogma tests.

Music, politics, diets, parenting, and medical advice are much more about preferences than correctness. Preferences are NOT persuaded by arguments.

Opinions are just…someone’s opinion. Their wrong opinion does not change my opinion; therefore, it should not make my day or life any worse.

Please Note: That is just my opinion.

My present becomes my past with each passing moment. Time is too precious to waste on trivial pursuits, trinket thoughts, or trashy debates.

The Kingdom of God with its love, peace, and joy is far more important than correctness on secondary matters, including my opinion, which is “always right” …(well, almost always).

Join me in praying to become more of a (1) conduit of LOVE, (2) instrument of PEACE, and (3) an overflowing vessel of JOY.

And why in the world do I feel as if my opinion needs to be defended?

I think it’s easier to just say, “I am wrong!”

Then I can just bathe my soul in the joy on that other person’s face!

Pray for me. I am still a work in progress!