Ah ha, ha ha, Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive… Ah ha, ha ha, Stayin’ Aliiiiiive…
This past week was my annual heart stress test. I was not looking forward to it. I felt uncertain whether I was up to the challenge and a little concerned about my health condition.
The recent record heatwave added an excuse to my reasons for limited physical activity. The latest weekend travels increased my desire for doughnuts and chocolate cupcakes. I also experienced a mild reaction to a change in my medications during the previous week.
The stress of life seemed to be running on high pressure these past two weeks. I felt crushed under the circumstances. So, I went into the stress test carrying lots of baggage marked regret, fear, anxiety, and finality.
The dye, pictures, and EKG went quickly. No problems. Now, back to the stress test on the treadmill. The nurse hooked me up to the electrode monitors and the blood pressure cup. It was time to start walking. Take me home country roads.
I was doing fine. At least I was still moving. Another nurse came to stand by me as the treadmill speed and steeper incline increased for the third time. I am not a quitter. I stared straight ahead as my feet picked up the pace. I was in my zone.
The nurse asked me if I was looking at the picture on the wall and pretending I was walking down the tree-lined path through the woods. I replied, “No, I am singing a hymn.” She asked which one.
I said it was actually an old gospel song titled, Going Up Yonder. Nurse Two said she was not familiar with the hymn. So, I quoted the lines to both nurses as I continued treading my way to nowhere.
If you want to know, where I’m going? Where I’m going, soon… If anybody asks you, where I’m going, I want you to tell them for me…
I’m going up yonder… I’m going up yonder… to be with my Lord.
Nurse One smiled and asked why I would choose to sing that song. I told her it was because I only knew the chorus and first lines of the classic Bee Gees’ song, Stayin’ Alive.
Ah ha, ha ha, Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive… Ah ha, ha ha, Stayin’ Aliiiiiive…
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk, I’m a woman’s man, no time to talk… Ah ha, ha ha, Stayin’ Alive, Stayin’ Alive…
Nurse Two tried to remember the lyrics as she hummed the tune and did the John Travolta’ hand movements. I breathlessly interrupted her with,
Life goin’ nowhere, somebody help me…I’m Stayin’ alive…
Nurse 1 shouted out, “That’s it. You remembered the chorus.” I replied that I was not quoting the lyrics…I was asking for help.
I recalled my best friend and doctor extraordinaire texting me not to break the machine. There was no danger of that, but I do remember when my good friend, Big John, actually broke the cardiology treadmill in Amarillo.
This would have been a classic comedy skit. No one laughs at this account more than John. There is no way my description of this event can do justice to the scene of destruction.
John asked me to go with him for his stress test. I was not prepared for the chaos. Neither were the medical personnel. The nurses hooked John up to all the stuff and off he went on his treadmill journey. It was a walk through the park.
As John began the incline portion, his blood pressure cuff unloosened from his arm. The nurse told him to keep walking as she replaced it. In seconds, it popped off again. She returned to tighten it. Then one of the electrode wires snapped off. Both nurses were working to rewire John as he continued panting his way to freedom.
Suddenly, two wires were hanging from his chest and the pressure cup from his arm. The nurses panicked and called for help. Big John is not a quitter. He kept up the pace as three nurses scrambled to salvage the electronic readings.
The floor began to vibrate. More wires came loose. A half dozen wires attached to John’s chest now dangled in the air. The blood pressure cup dragged the ground. Undeterred, Big John kept huffing and puffing on his way to nowhere. Then two wires connected.
Sparks flew just as the doctor came into the room. He yelled to stop the machine.
Three nurses were exhausted and in need of oxygen for their panic attacks. The physician was about to flatline from the heart stress aggravation. The entire medical staff stood and stared as if in some drug-induced trance. No one spoke.
As the machine ground to a halt, John slowly finished his steps. I helped his sweat-covered body with its adornment of loose wires to a bed where he labored to catch his breath. Each gasp for air vibrated the bed and filled the room with strange sounds.
The treadmill began to smoke. Then it made this weird, sighing sound. The physician softly pronounced the treadmill’s demise. “It’s gone.” Two nurses bowed their heads and did the sign of the cross.
The cariologist stared at John and then back at the treadmill carnage. He shook his head in disbelief as he silently exited the room.
It was a record-breaking, treadmill-killing experience. I had never seen anything like it. The medical staff had never seen anything like it. Big John became an instant legend.
I tell this story with Big John’s permission. There is no intent to belittle anyone with a weight issue. That group includes me. This different stress test ended up with one of the greatest physician’s opinions of all time.
As the cardiologist explained his medical diagnosis, John spoke what both of us were thinking. John asked the doctor if he could simplify his explanation. John said, “I am not sure I understand. I guess you’re saying I’m overweight.”
The heart specialist pointed at John’s stomach and offered this classic comment. “Sir, if I could somehow melt that down, I would have enough fuel to drive my car to San Francisco and back.”
I will never forget John’s bemused expression and puppy dog eyes as he looked at me for some response. There is something about a cardiologist’s treadmill test that makes me want to sing. I shrugged and said,
If you’re going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair.
Full disclosure: Big John recalls the doctor’s predicted roundtrip destination as Denver. It is possible he was suffering from a Rocky Mountain High caused by the enormous stress.
Stress is part of life and how we handle the stress matters immensely.
The definition of stress is a state of mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual strain caused by pressure or adverse circumstances.
We all engage with stress. Some of it is mental or physical stress. Some involves emotional or spiritual stress. Stress comes in all shapes, sizes, and formats. It comes in all seasons of life, at all times of the day.
Financial stress is real and ties a heavy weight on one’s heart and relationships. Stress from trauma or tragedy can feel unbearable. Uncertainty about one’s future takes the spiritual treadmill to a steeper incline. Worry and anxiety are byproducts of stress which can take a toll on the whole self.
A heart stress test is designed to measure the level of blood flow when under pressure.
A SPIRITUAL STRESS TEST MEASURES THE FLOW OF OUR FAITH IN GOD WHEN UNDER THE PRESSURE OF UNDESIRED CIRCUMSTANCES.
God does not measure our outward appearance; He looks at the heart. God allows circumstances, adversity, and situations in life to put pressure on us in order for us to assess the progress in our spiritual growth.
I imagine you are under stress, probably much more than anyone might guess. Too often, we do not give people enough understanding as it comes to factors of which we are uninformed. I might not be able to lessen your stress, but I can care and pray to the One who can help.
Love First and Love Most are only nice sounding phrases until there is a spiritual heart test.
A muscle must experience stress in order to grow stronger. It needs exercised. The absence of stress leads muscles to atrophy and uselessness. God uses stress to strengthen our faith muscle which enlarges our usefulness in loving others.
There are pressures in life which place constant demands on our emotions and energy. WE CANNOT ESCAPE THEM.
There are pressure-people who make loving first and loving most much more challenging. WE CANNOT AVOID THEM.
Stress factors remind us that we are finite and fallible. We cannot arrange every person to fit our agenda. We are not in control of every event and circumstance. Stress is a reminder to ask for help from the One who does control all things for our good.
Consider this the next time you feel stressed. God is testing you so that you know what is truly inside your heart. He is strengthening your faith muscle. That increases your ability to love first and most.
- Read the #1 Textbook. Job stated confidently, “When God has tested me, I will come forth as pure as gold” (#1 Textbook). There is always a higher hidden purpose in stress. “Stress tests your faith to prove (to you and others) it is genuine and worth more than pure gold. When your heart is tested, the results will highlight the praise, glory, and honor of the One who lives inside you” (#1 Textbook).
- Pray: I call on the Lord in my stress and He answers me (#1 Textbook). God is with you. God is for you. Talk to Him. Listen to Him. Give Him your stress.
- Sing. Find yourself a song to sing when under stress. When the lyrics fade, just hum along.
Great is Thy faithfulness! Great is Thy faithfulness! Morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed Thy hand has provided; Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, UNTO ME!
I encourage both of us to take our stress and put it to the faith test.
“It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life I now live (even with stress), I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself up for me” (#1 Textbook).
Come on stress test! This is a No-Quit Day!
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 