One of my recent birthday greetings came with a question: “What type of plans does one make when he gets to your advanced age?”
I immediately texted a reply. “Throw away the old Bucket List and start a new one.”
Bucket List—things a person hopes to do or achieve during their lifetime.
Where do you start? First, find a bucket. Then make a list of things you desire to do before you “kick the bucket.” As time goes by, try to remember where you placed the bucket.
Hopes, dreams, and anticipated adventures brighten life. The clouds of reality necessitate revisions. Some items are checked off as completed. Some evolve because of limitations or need updated by new opportunities.
There is also danger the anticipated list of future activities can become forgotten or lost in the thoughts of present circumstances.
Therefore, a new calendar year or another birthday milestone becomes a good time for reflection on one’s Bucket List.
For example:
(1) See “The Seven Wonders of the World” might be replaced with “See one non-horrifying Wonder in the Mirror.”
(2)”Skydiving” might be updated to “Staying inside the house until all the ice melts.”
(3)“Win an Olympic gold medal in basketball for the United States” can be revised to “Block the basketball shot of my four-year-old grandson in the playroom and do a celebratory dance as if I were John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever.“
(4) “Walk along the Great Wall of China” might need to take a backseat to “Skinny Dipping in Iceland.“
OK, let’s get real.
Here are some of my Bucket List items that have been canceled as well as a list of their replacement dreams and aspirations. I hope this will encourage you as you do your Bucket List Spring cleaning and reassessment of future goals.
Here is a quick rundown of my New Bucket List Top Twenty.
1. (Expired) See Elvis perform live in concert. That is not going to happen. Elvis has left the building!
*(Update) Watch my grandkids perform in song, dance, and athletic endeavors.
2. (Expired) Become an astronaut and go to the Moon.
*(Update) Get surgery on my eyes so I can gaze at the stars.
3. (Expired) Invest in Apple stock startup. *(Update) Be grateful I can still eat an Apple.
4. (Expired) Find my baseball card collection that Mom claimed she threw away.
*(Update) Look at pictures of the valuable vintage baseball cards on the internet as I announce to my family for the thousandth time that I owned that card and we would be rich, but my mom threw it away.
5. (Expired) Apologize personally to Olivia Newton-John for the embarrassment, humiliation, and broken heart I caused her by my rejection of the many times she publicly stared into my eyes and declared for the whole world to hear, “I Honestly Love You.” [Note: Olivia recently passed away. The physician lamented that the chronic suffering from her broken heart weakened her “Let’s Get Physical” body. Too much “Grease” to bear.]
*(Update) Stay married by trashing all my Olivia album covers.
6. (Expired) Climb Cavanal Hill in Poteau, the highest hill in the world.
*(Update) Do whatever it takes to get into the refrigerator without help or dietary restrictions.
7. (Expired) Become a back-up singer for the “My Girl” Four Tops Motown group.
*(Update) Sound in tune one time while singing with the church congregation.
8. (Expired) Market the highly competitive and addictive family table game I invented with my brothers, The Inspector Clouseau Space Age Breakfast Game with the Special Ovaltine Overtime Option.
*(Update) Invent a quieter game with a shorter name.
9. (Expired) Own an ocean-view condo at Crescent Beach, Florida, before hell freezes over.
*(Update) See the beautiful sand beaches covered in ice and snow. CHECK-Done.
10. (Expired) Help find the Cure for Cancer.
*(Update) Humble myself to ask for help finding the TV remote.
11. (Expired) Become Governor of Oklahoma by age fifty.
*(Update) Spend ten weeks of my brief remaining lifespan sitting, talking, calling, emailing, and waiting in long lines at government offices just to obtain a copy of my Social Security card, which I have not needed for fifty years. Check (Done)
12. (Expired) Stand in Madison Square Garden in the same place as Billy Graham and preach to thousands of people.
*(Update) Exchange sleeping places with our dog.
13. (Expired) Enjoy playing new card and board games.
*(Update) Live long enough for my wife and sister-in-law to read all the rules and directions of the new game without saying, “Let’s just play.”
14. (Expired) Dunk a basketball like Michael Jordon or Doctor J.
*(Update) Learn how NOT to double-dribble while slurping soup at the restaurant.
15. (Expired) Memorize the New Testament.
*(Update) Try to remember the names of the four gospels.
16. (Expired) Be crowned the winner of Jeopardy‘s Tournament of Champions.
*(Update) Return from the store one time and hear my wife say, “Well done, thou good and faithful stupid servant.”
17. (Expired) Publish the brilliant short instructional and illustrated book I wrote for Angie, my sister-in-law, appropriately titled, Games that are Impossible to Lose.
*(Update) Tell the loser the truth. Barnes & Noble want to place the book in the Fiction section.
18. (Expired) Teach my grandchildren NOT to be afraid of crawdads.
*(Update) Pray my grandchildren NEVER see me using Armor All car cleaning wipes as a napkin for my face.
19. (Expired) WORLD PEACE.
*(Update) Keep everyone in the world away from my last piece of cheesecake.
20. (Expired) Grow up to be like the Lone Ranger. I did develop his private Personna, but not his courage.
*(Update) Just be remembered…like Michelangelo or the statue of David.
[Note: Another sister-in-law’s question: “How long did David stand like that for Michelangelo?” Right. Think about that for a second.]
I hope your Bucket List comes true.
For me and for all those I love, I place this prayer on my permanent Bucket List.
- LIVE NEARER TO GOD THIS YEAR THAN I DID THE LAST.
- LOVE FIRST…LOVE MOST….EVERYONE…EVERYWHERE…EVERYTIME...
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 