It happened again. Road Rage.
I was neither the victim nor the enraged. This time I was responsible for the situation.
I previously shared my thoughts on Road Rage. I trust that your driving skills have significantly improved, particularly in applying the “Love First, Love Most” techniques. I still struggle.
My recent traffic incident did not make me angry or enraged. My feelings were minimal, but the individual in the other vehicle reacted strongly. Restraint was not a word in his dictionary. He went ballistic!
Anger gets the best of us. It brings out the worst in us.
This was the most recent of my bad driving incidents.
I was awaiting the reduction of heavy traffic to execute a right turn onto the congested street. I intended to safely move into the left turn lane before the next intersection.
Ahead, a driver in the left lane halted to permit an approaching vehicle to make a turn into the shopping center. A nice, thoughtful, and considerate individual. The truck remained stationary for several seconds, which created space for several cars to move into the left turn lane.
I assumed this driver was still pursuing CarWorld’s Mr. Congeniality.
I seized the opportunity. There was no danger of a collision. No near miss. I moved into the left turn lane into tenth place.
It appears that securing the eleventh position altered the driver’s demeanor, prompting him to maneuver his vehicle up against my rear bumper.
I ruined this nice guy’s day. Honestly, I mistakenly thought he was making room for me to get into the left lane.
You have seen these super large pickup trucks. Maybe you own one. Extra wide truck bed. Extended side mirrors. Shiny metallic wheels. Gigantic tires oversized in height and width.
A therapist wrote an article on Yahoo suggesting that big truck owners might be overcompensating for perceived inadequacies. I never considered this until the topic went viral on social media and I do not believe there is any truth to the theory.
My only comment is that the only element absent from this pickup was a huge marque sign stating, “Please notice me.”
Well, I noticed. It sounded as if a flock of geese were doing a flyover. Honk! Honk! Honk!
The big truck horn was blaring! Not once. Not twice. Not thrice. Not force.
I take that back. There was some force being applied to the horn. It sounded more like the city’s tornado warning siren.
The truck lights were flashing! Quickly changing from bright to dim and back to bright. Many times. Countless times. Near infinity.
There were numerous hand signals. However, they never differed. Just the same one waving at me over and over!
Road rage was in full bloom.
What would you do if you were in the pickup or in my car?
This might surprise you, but I was at peace through all this. My blood pressure did not boil with anger. My lips did not explode with comments. I felt no need to respond or even acknowledge his anger.
I just patiently waited for the road rage to lessen. It did not help that both vehicles stayed in the same spot for two minutes at the red light.
Not acknowledging his anger only made the wait worse.
When the left turn arrow showed green, I followed the nine cars through the intersection. I hoped Mr. Big Truck would also make the turn. He did. His pickup looked as if it were still attached to my bumper.
I hoped Mr. Inferior Complex would calm down. He had made his turn and his point, yet he continued to show his displeasure. He reacted as if his shortcomings had been exposed.
The lights kept flashing. The horn continued blaring. The hand signals could still be seen in every brief glance through my rear-view mirror.
I quickly moved into the right lane so he could pass. He did. Fast and Furious was not just a movie title.
He honked, waved, and shouted repeatedly. He was sure I was blind, deaf, and dumb.
Of course, all the traffic stopped at the red light at the next intersection. We were beside each other, but not in the way my Side-by-Side ministry encourages.
I smiled as I stared straight ahead. My peripheral vision is excellent. The angry man in the super-sized truck was not looking anywhere else except down at me.
He drove into the sunset, still angry. I regretted ruining his day and likely his night too.
I was not being as spiritual as this sounds. I realized my lack of response just made the other driver angrier. He wanted me to acknowledge his road rage.
Hey, sticks and stones can hurt me, but honking and flashing lights do not. Only sometimes do flying birds ruin my day.
My mind raced through things I could do or say.
I am not as deliberate as Siri, and I rarely follow her instructions. In 600 feet, honk your horn. In 200 feet, raise your right middle finger out the open sky roof. Turn left immediately.
It has never been my style to flip someone off. I am more likely to raise my arms and hands in a questioning gesture.
Using profanity has never been part of my anger expressions. I avoid saying “What the H-E-double hockey sticks?” despite my friend Jeff’s insistence that God knows it is what I am thinking.
“Are you an idiot?” is more my style or “You are a dangerous driving moron!
(My young son once asked if someone had to be a moron to play for the BYU football team. “No, son; they are called Mormons. The morons manage the Dallas Cowboys and the Dallas Mavericks.”)
Sadly, my mind can generate many classic put-downs, far from a Love First, Love Most response.
I repeat for emphasis. Anger gets the best of us. It brings out the worst in us.
Anger at a clueless person is probably the most wasted anger of all. They will not get it. It will not ruin their day as much as the encounter will continue to ruin yours or mine.
None of us are strangers to this kind of driving scenario.
Some people are just bad drivers. Many are distracted by texting. Some drivers are clueless that any other car is on the road.
There are speeders dreaming they are NASCAR drivers. There are senior drivers puttering at a snail’s pace.
Impatient tailgating and irresponsible erratic lane-changing are aggravating. All symptoms of the bigger problem…SELFISHNESS.
Each driver believes the importance of his purpose supersedes that of everyone else.
We all feel that way.
Do not get in MY way. Do not force me to change MY speed or MY direction or MY timing. Everyone plus the stoplights need to accommodate ME.
The reason that does not work is because most everyone else is thinking those exact thoughts…except my grandmother.
In my earlier years, my mom would reprimand my attitude to bad drivers, especially slow drivers. She would say, “Always think; that could be your grandmother.”
My grandmother never learned to drive until she was fifty-five. I can assure you her speedometer never reached fifty-five. NEVER!
That’s right. Share some understanding. The slow erratic driver might be lost or nearly blind. Have some heart!
It would be better to give other drivers the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they are rushing to the hospital or responding to a loved one’s adversity. Probably not, but maybe it is just my grandmother. Please treat her with respect and kindness, the way you would your own grandmother.
And, yes, I know some of your grandmothers. My kids’ grandmother drives like The Little Old Lady from Pasadena. Go, Granny, go!
The degree of anger, like anxiety, shows up in our different temperaments.
We need to be wise.
The difference between anger and danger is the letter “d.” Inappropriate anger can destroy lives and relationships as well as automobiles.
Anger can cause bad decisions. Just a little too much anger becomes dangerous on the roadway and in the home.
The #1 Textbook encourages us to “get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger and replace it with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness.”
Forgive yourself for getting angry and forgive the other person, preferably BEFORE you express your anger to them.
We will need the Lord’s help to do that.
Jesus never had “road rage.” He did ride a donkey through some crowded streets. We know he walked through this world amidst the self-absorbed, hot-headed, rude, and crazy people.
Can you imagine crazy Legion driving in a frenzy on the freeway? Or Peter taking out his sword on another driver’s ear?
Or Siri’s instructions causing the doubting directional delusions of Thomas regarding the right way to go? “Lord, we do not know the way.”
No matter who was on the road, Jesus was always concerned about the welfare of others. He always loved first and loved most.
What Winsday Wisdom can we glean from my latest cause of road rage?
Do all things in love…Be patient and kind…Be slow to anger…Treat others the way you would want them to treat you (#1 Textbook).
Treat other drivers the way you would want them to treat your grandmother. It really does not matter if they do not reciprocate in kind. In truth, that is the challenge.
I do not always know what “love first and most” driving should look like. It definitely involves learning to drive “forgiving first and most!“
“STOP. LOOK. LISTEN.” That is not just a good warning for crossing train tracks. It is great advice for “road rage anger.”
STOP before you say or do something to express your anger to the other person.
LOOK to see if it might be my grandmother…OR ME.
LISTEN to God speak to your heart, “Love First and Love Most.”
Remember. Life is about the journey, not the stop lights.
Praying for Safe Driving and Less Stress!
EYES UP! LOVE YOU!
LOVE FIRST...LOVE MOST 