Strawberry Pie and More Joy

John Paton and his newlywed wife were the first Christian missionaries to the cannibal populated New Hebrides Islands.

Paton’s exploits were brave and adventurous. His commitment to the task was the stuff of legends. However, it is the statement by his dying wife which burned into my heart and soul leaving a permanent and precious mark in my life.

“I would do it all again, only next time with more joy.”

That statement has renewed my vow not to let this world rob me of the joy of living. “I would do it all again, only next time with more joy.”

Paton and his new bride, Mary, left Scotland to embark on an ocean journey to the Pacific South Seas. They volunteered to be instruments of God’s love. Their lives would be in constant danger. Several years earlier, two missionaries survived only a few minutes before they were murdered and eaten. This was not the travel agency’s honeymoon paradise.

John and Mary Paton carried with them the most important thing in life, love for God and love for others. They were compelled to show hostile natives that love. Love always comforts; it never condemns. Love always continues; it never ceases. Love always takes us home; it never closes the door.

In Robinson Crusoe fashion, John and Mary Paton established a residence along the shoreline of Tanna. Savages occupied the inner island untouched by western civilization. These violent natives were well versed in fear, hate, and hurt.

Difficulty, danger, and death awaited the newlywed missionaries. Somehow, they survived the sporadic attacks and inquisitive incursions of their hostile hosts. Ten months after the arrival, the Patons enjoyed the birth of a son. However, three weeks later, Mary died from a fever. The baby boy died seventeen days later. Paton dug the graves, buried his loved ones, and slept on the ground to protect their bodies from the cannibals.

We can only imagine the pain and heartbreak. Paton was overcome with sorrow and loneliness. Almost every day, he had to flee for his life, with breathtaking tales of escape, often hiding in a tree or the darkness of the forest. The unrelenting danger was real. Each crisis was like a scene from a movie thriller.

Although Paton often had to run for his life, he kept running in the right spiritual direction with his #1 Textbook. He never gave up his attempts to convince the violent natives of his loving intentions. After years of perseverance in love through threatening trials and miraculous escapes, the whole island population became transformed by the powerful love of God through the words and actions of this one man.

The converted chief later told Paton about the night they intended to attack and murder him but were stopped by the many guards surrounding him. Paton said he was alone. The chief objected, describing his frightened sight of the hundreds of armed soldiers in shiny garments surrounding the Paton campsite.

Paton had the courage to risk everything to do the most important thing. He loved first. He loved most. The story of his platform of influence has inspired thousands of young men and women to risk loving others in that same manner.

Paton’s precious wife, Mary, also risked everything to love others who identified themselves as enemies of that love. As she lay dying, her husband shared his sorrow and remorse for taking her so far away from home and family, from comfort and safety.

Mary affirmed it was also her choice to share love with these hostile people in that distant land. She did not resent her husband’s leadership, nor did she regret God’s guidance. Amazingly, she had no remorse over the soon to come ending.

She consoled her grieving husband with these words, “I do not regret leaving home and friends. If I had it to do over, I would do it with more pleasure, yes, with all my heart.”

I would do it all again, only next time with more joy.

There is coming a time for each of us where we will feel the same way. Life has felt hard, almost impossible at time because of encounters with hurt and hatred. Unwanted suffering and trials made the climb harder, and the valleys sunk far lower than we anticipated.

Stop and think. Look back on your life. You cannot change what happened. There is no benefit to questioning or reliving your decisions about what you did or did not do or should have done. There are no “what-ifs” in God’s plan. The past is unchangeable.

If you knew this was to be your journey through life again, would you worry, grieve, and complain more? Or would you wish you could do it all again, only next time with more joy?

One day, I talked about the Patons’ attitude about life and the desire to do it all again, only with more joy.

That next week, my sweetheart daughter reminded me of those words. I was in the garage feeling very frustrated as I helped my son with his procrastinated science project. Then the door opened with the precious smile of my adoring girl. “Remember Dad. Someday you will wish you had done this with more joy.”

Parents tend to get upset when their children do not listen. Why do they listen to the parts that cause us to eat our words? Did I wish I had engaged in the midnight science project with more joy?

Yes, I do. I would love to be with my children now, involved in a late-night science project or a lengthy piano practice, just with more joy. I would give anything to look into that messy room or see that dented car again, just with more joy. I would embrace their defeats and the shared heartaches, only next time with more joy.

Some of my life adventures were tough like recycled tests in college, eating the enemy’s cake with forgiveness, and heart crushing spiritual disorientation. Other events were less challenging but still needed a dose of more joy.

One occasion involved strawberry pie.

Our family had recently moved to a different city. New friends invited my six-year-old son and me to a college basketball game. When the announcement was made regarding the halftime pie-eating contest, I was informed that my name had been entered. Funny joke.

As the game got closer to halftime, I became a little worried and then fearful. I do not enjoy being in the spotlight, especially in the role of a fool. There were several thousand spectators at the game, so rest easy my soul. What are the odds?

The halftime introduction of participants began. First, a ten-year-old boy excitedly dashed out of the stands with his arms raised in the air as he rushed to his place at the table set up along the free-throw lane. A college guy dressed in home team apparel was named next. Apparently delighted to be in the competition, he and his friends celebrated as though he had won the lottery.

My fear was realized with the next announcement. The PA system loudly called out my name, several times. I was stunned. My son and friends stood and cheered with excitement, pointing to the selected party. Yes, the contest drawing had been rigged by my new friend, Bill Johnson, who printed the tickets and strategically placed my name in the “random” drawing. Right! This was my initiation into a new band of brothers. Funny joke. Not to me.

My associates hooped and hollered as if I had been selected third in the NFL draft. To me, the announcement sounded more like the list for the guillotine. Just shoot me now.

I reluctantly sat in the middle chair between the two eager challengers. When the time clock started, I took on the strawberry pie in front of me. I might be shy, but I am competitive.

I was no match for the other two contestants who literally planted their faces into the pies. They ate like hogs freed from a hunger strike. I wilted into third place as I stared into the pie covered faces of my rivals. Everything was not lost. I was awarded what remained of my pie as a consolation prize.

When I returned to my laughing friends, I handed the pie box to my son. I have never forgotten his look of major disappointment as he opened the box top and stared at how much of the uneaten pie remained. “Are you kidding me? Is that the best you can do?”

There is no shame which compares to a dad disappointing the son who idolizes him. Our family motto is “always do your best and never quit.” How do you explain to your son that in the spotlight of the gladiator arena, you failed at both? Not funny at all.

This was a low point in my quest to be the greatest dad in the world.

I wish I had participated in that unwanted pie contest with more joy— yes, much more joy. Throughout these many passing years, my contest manipulative friend continues to surprise me with the gift of a strawberry pie, conveniently presented in the same packaging as that first one. I eat as much as I can with as much joy as possible. Then I share the rest with even more joy.

I would do it all again, only next time with more joy. That is true not only for the fun times and the family times; it is true for the challenging times and the rough times in life as well. I would do it all again, only next time with more joy.

How many times have I said those words at the end of a difficult chapter in life or in a relationship?

I have been cheated and mistreated, which sounds like a country song. I have messed up and seemingly missed out. I have failed, fallen, been forgotten, and fooled. I have grieved, mourned, wallowed in self-pity, and lived with anxiety, worry, and fear.

I survived crisis, conflict, and coronary challenges. I outlasted discouragement, discrimination, dismissal, debt, and defeat.

I do not need anything changed in my past life. I only wish I had done it all with more joy.

How does a person live with more joy? Here is a #1 Textbook life lesson for us to share:

• Faith in God goes to the source of joy. “In God’s presence, there is fullness of joy…The joy of the Lord is your strength” (#1 Textbook).

• Hope in God fuels joy. “May the God of hope fill you with all joy…God has given you heavenly joy so that your joy might be full.” (#1 Textbook).

• Love for and from God is the expression of joy. “I showed you how to live with lasting joy: Love others in the same manner and as much as I love you” (#1 Textbook).

The key to joy is awareness of God’s presence in all the different situations in life. When I look back over my life, both the delightful and the difficult circumstances, I wish I had been more aware of God’s presence, even at a strawberry pie eating contest. I would do it all again, only with more joy.

“Count it all joy when your name is called up yonder…or at the pie eating contest” (#1 Textbook).

Yes, I would do it all again, only next time with more joy.