CONSTRUCTION ZONES: How to Creep and Beep through Life

Few things test a driver’s patience like an unexpected delay in a construction zone.

HASSLE–AN IRRITATING INCONVENIENCE.

This week, it happened again… Every week feels like a terrestrial travel ritual. My driving time, with little room for delays, always hits a road work slowdown.

I was driving and praying…praying with my eyes open, as I asked God for a sign to help me with my upcoming decision.

And there it was, a big orange triangular sign with a clear message: “Slow Down.”

I saw the sign and the first innocent looking orange traffic cone. This did not set off any neurological warning signs. It appeared to lead into a smooth traffic merger.

Then another colored cone appeared. Then another. The pattern escalated exponentially, culminating in a dizzying slalom course of orange pylons, a labyrinth of frustration laid out with the precision of a drunken centipede.

Sign after sign caught my attention as chaotic reality took over my travel timeline.

CONSTRUCTION ZONE.

Merge Left…Road Work Ahead…Fines Double…25 MPH Speed Limit…Be Prepared to Stop…Road Closed…Detour.

I felt as if my cup was running over with signs from God.

There are several unpredictable flaws in the road repair system.

What does the Road Work Ahead sign mean? The “ahead” part can mean anything from “200 feet away” to “200 light-years in time.”

The term “construction” can refer to anything from a large excavation project with heavy machinery and a team of workers to a person staring at a crack in the street smaller than his half-moon one on full display.

As always, my journey into the construction zone began with a flicker of frustration which soon became full-out agitated annoyance. I could not find the escape route before it was too late.

I went from quietly praying to shouting, “You have got to be kidding me! Again?”

This shared human experience unites our politically divided country. Whether on your daily commute, engaged in a quick errand, or embarking on a long road trip, the sudden appearance of orange cones, flashing signs, and reduced speed limits can rapidly turn a smooth enjoyable journey into a slow-moving headache…or worse, an anxiety attack with exasperated exclamations!  (Not that I am personally acquainted with those feelings.)

I suddenly found myself in a line of vehicles crawling past orange barrels, barricades, workers, and heavy machinery. Then came the sense of helplessness—knowing there is no express lane, no shortcut, and no alternate route.

Even the calmest drivers can become anxious and irritable.

Why didn’t Siri warn me of this? She probably did, but I assumed she was wrong. Last year, this area was a construction zone. Apparently, it still is.

Our city is always repairing or upgrading its roads. I understand the necessity for safer and better roads. I appreciate the diligent workers who provide them. However, why does the progress seem so slow, and the end is nowhere in sight?

Our wiser counterpart drivers might describe construction zone hassles as a minor inconvenience. I join the dumber majority who view it as existential torment moving at a snail’s pace.

What is a snail’s pace? According to Webster’s Dictionary, it refers to a very slow speed of movement. A snail moves at about 0.03 miles per hour, covering roughly three miles in four days. That was my construction zone last week.

Now, let me just skip to the real question. WHY ME? WHY NOW?

I am in a hurry. I am losing precious minutes at this snail’s pace.

One mystery involves construction workers or the absence of them. In one area, there is a crew of twelve laborers working diligently. In the next zone, all the workers are gone, abducted by an alien spacecraft, leaving their machinery behind as a monument to their sudden disappearance.

Where there are only orange cones and no people around, frustration builds. Most of the stress moves into the foot on the gas pedal. Just as you decide to speed past the orange barrels, someone suddenly steps out of hiding with a Stop sign. I think he was waiting for my car!

Or worse, there is a flashing red light accompanied by a siren! I know he was waiting for my car!

Numerous orange cones and barrels lined the way without any sight of workers or oncoming construction projects. Do you ever ask the rhetorical question, “Why?”

Why are so many construction zones absent of construction workers?

My dad had one very well-thought-out answer.

Whenever he encountered that situation, Dad would declare, “The government agencies have no place to store all those orange barrels, so they just move them around from place to place.”

Those orange barrels are used to narrow roadways, adorn highway shoulders, and create parking lots in the middle of the interstate highway. Where are the workers?

Do you see why that seems baffling to motorists?

Is this a construction zone or a mismanaged storage area for orange barrels?

I want us to shift lanes. How do you manage these construction zone delays?

Do you rant or laugh? If you do not laugh, you will eventually cry!

The next time your Rat Race slows into a CREEP and BEEP show, look for the HUMOR in the HASSLE.

Construction zones can be frustrating, but they connect us with other drivers in the same situation. Cultural or political differences do not matter when I am stuck in the middle with you.

I observe people. Have you seen how drivers deal with delays?

1. There are the Honkers.
   
   Construction zones can transform a peaceful commute into an impromptu symphony, with drivers contributing to a cacophony of honks. Some compose elaborate honk patterns—Morse code for “move it!”—while others simply lean on their horn out of sheer existential frustration. If nothing else, it offers a chance to practice one’s air-trombone skills between orange barrel six and orange barrel two hundred six.

2. The Aggressive Lane Switchers.

Some drivers are headstrong in their belief that the left lane is moving faster, only to discover it is also at a standstill. Their unfounded Daytona motorcross skills result in a net-zero gain and a significant increase in hostility for them and the rest of us. They need a pit-stop.

3. There is always the Passive-Aggressive Bumper-Rider.

This guy (in my experiences usually a woman driving a large SUV,) who tailgates the car in front as if proximity will somehow violate the laws of physics and force faster movement. The Tush Push only works in Philadelphia!

4. I enjoy observing the Despairing Drummer.

The frustrated driver taps a steady rhythm on the steering wheel. The rapidity of the snare drum fingers evolves into slow pounding of the bass drum hand. And The Beat Goes On! (Now, that is a Sonny and Cher blast from the past.) The stomping rhythmic beat in the Dave Clark Five’s Glad All Over is followed by the iconic stomp-stomp-clap resonations of Queen’s We Will Rock You! The faster and harder the frustrated driver taps, the more their stress grows.

5. There are Conspiracy Theorists.

Why does it always feel like you hit every construction zone in the city, no matter which route you take? I have even suspected there is a special app used by construction crews to track my movements, ensuring those cones follow my planned path like a shadow. Another conspiracy theory suggests Pothole Partnerships are working in conjunction with Road Construction Companies.

6. Have you noticed the Sign Language Experts?

Dealing with detour signs and flaggers can feel confusing, like learning a new language. Many drivers often respond with exaggerated shrugs, big hand gestures, or mimicking U-turns with their fingers.

7. Surely, you have observed the Non-Stop Talkers.

Some drivers have no one in the car with them; but they narrate the traffic congestion with a running commentary fit for a comedic stand-up routine. They ramble on in a hysterical voice reminiscent of Les Nessman reporting the turkey drop traffic news to his WKRP audience.

8. There are the Unexpected Tour Guides.

Construction zones can reroute drivers through unfamiliar neighborhoods. Some people act as tour guides, pointing out sights: “On your left, you will notice another closed coffee shop. On your right, a mysterious alley leads to a garbage can. Did you notice Aunt Savannah sitting on the porch with her snuff can? That is Cousin Eddie outside in his bathrobe drinking a beer while emptying out the old RV’s porta potty into Clark’s sewer.”

9. Special kudos go out to the Music Playlist Disc Jockeys.

No one plans to spend an extra 45 minutes in traffic, but construction delays are the perfect excuse to rediscover those forgotten music playlists. Some drivers turn up the tu nes and belt out the “eighties power ballads” as if they are performing in a roadside musical. No, this is not a drive-by audition for The Voice. Other traffic jam DJs pass the time with a smile and loud bass-driven music that vibrates their car as well as yours. You are trapped to endure their created themed playlists— “Dancing in the Detour” and “Hits for Honking.”

10. No traffic snarl is complete without the Social Media Satirists.

In the age of smartphones, no construction delay goes undocumented. Quick-witted commuters snap photos of baffling signs or oddly positioned cones, turning them into viral memes. Other drivers are immortalized in social media photos of them using a finger to pick a nose or giving a middle-finger wave at the nearby vehicle taking pictures.

11. I also want to give a shout out to the Pretenders.

Some drivers function as if the traffic delay is an opportunity to practice patience. But I see them muttering under their breath. That fake smile cannot hide the growling snarl much longer. They focus on exaggerated deep breaths or counting to ten. Or are they just passing gas…I mean flatulence? Let no one judge. Everyone has their own way of finding comfort and peace amid the construction chaos.

There irs a Spiritual connection to these thoughts.

God designed this earthly life to be a Spiritual Construction Zone. Every circumstantial roadblock, detour, dead-end, and delay has divine design to it. They also come with signs written in God’s own words.

God works all things according to the counsel of his will (Ephesians 1:11).

We know God works all things for our good (Romans 8:28).

This is a spiritual construction zone for you to be renewed in the spirit of your mind (Ephesians 4:23).

The God we love and follow took the worst moment in the history of the world in the crucifixion of Jesus and turned it into a moment of eternal celebratory remembrance. Since God did that at the cross, then God can repair life problems anywhere and everywhere for anyone, no matter how dark the sorrow or deep the loss.

God takes our most shattered days and our most disappointing delays, only to rearrange the pieces, and make them all eternally and immeasurably good beyond our imagination.

God knows what He is doing in your life. Inconvenient and uncomfortable circumstances form the spiritual construction zones where our impatience, grumbling, and self-centeredness are turned into joy, patience, peace, gentleness, and self-control.

Sacrificial love is never convenient. It never occurs according to your timetable. By its Christlike nature, it assumes a loss of personal time and comfort.

If you intend to go where God is leading, then you must take the road God has prepared for you. Every delay is perfectly timed. Every detour is a necessity. Every slowdown or bump in the road has divine design in its construction.

Every annoying orange barrel individual who gets in your way and under your skin has been placed there by God to merge your spirit into the simple truth that it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me (Galatians 2::20).

And where does this spiritual road lead?

JESUS LIVES INSIDE YOU TO LEAD YOU TO OTHERS HE INTENDS TO LOVE THROUGH YOU.

Your spiritual road is full of Construction Zones but not empty of hope. The heavenly highway will someday usher you home without spot or blemish (2 Peter 3:14).

Conclusion

In this earthly journey, you will always go through another Spiritual Construction Zone. Do not be surprised. Do not worry or fear.

God’s Word promises that no man or woman has ever seen, heard, or even imagined what wonderful things God has ready for those who love the Lord. (I Corinthians 2:9).

So next time you find yourself inching through a maze of orange cones, barrel barriers, and detour redirections, take a deep breath, turn up your music, look for the humor in the hassle, and remind yourself that better roads are on the horizon—even if they are still out of sight.