WINSDAY WISDOM Session 9 SPIRITUAL DISORIENTATION

I thought my prayers had been answered. Unexpectantly, the clouds of change left me spiritually disoriented. Joy and thanksgiving became confusion and disappointment. Just as we cheered our family ship sailing safely into the harbor from its treacherous journey, the boat capsized. We were suddenly swept back out into stormy seas on a life raft.

Heartbroken? That would be an understatement.

My faith was shaken. My dream project was taken from me. I had been kicked to the curb from the one thing for which I had sacrificed most to sustain until completion. My closest associates questioned my motives. The newest associates dismissed my involvement altogether. I was out…gone…nonexistent. They just did not call it cancel culture.

My heart was empty; my mind was foggy. The unfairness and falsehood of their words crushed me. My family was hurt; my future seemed dark. Relationships were unraveling. Security diminishing. Through it all, others stated I was the one with the wrong solution and the wrong attitude! At least, that was implied where it was not specifically charged. My thinking was called irrational. My motives were deemed to be materialistic. Even my integrity was questioned.

We all have blind spots of flawed character and conduct; we just do not see them. Not only was I blinded to my blind spots, but I was also unable to see my next step. I did not know what to say or do, except to cry and complain.

What do you do when you feel disappointed? Depressed? Defeated? How do you trust God WHEN everything looks and feels so wrong? WHEN plans get messed up? WHEN circumstances seem horrible? WHEN you fail? WHEN the worst happens?

The God I so much trusted felt so far away. I thought God was supposed to know where I was and where I needed to be, and how to take care of me. This felt more like disaster than euphoria.

I cried more than at any time in my life, I complained more than at any time in my life, I criticized others more than at any time in my life. In retrospect, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, about to crash emotionally and spiritually.

Any thoughts of love were buried in the fog of self-pity. Any sense of right direction was lost to my self-centered convergence. I was spiritually disoriented. Have you felt like that?

Spatial disorientation is an aeronautics term familiar to pilots. The phrase describes the inability to determine one’s position in relation to a trusted point of reference.

PERCEPTION DOES NOT AGREE WITH REALITY.

Pilots experience spatial disorientation when flying in weather conditions which prevent them from being able to see the horizon or the ground. When points of reference disappear, the pilot’s perceptions become unreliable.

Sensory input of the eyes and inner ears give conflicting signals, resulting in distorted vision and confused equilibrium. What the pilot sees and feels do not match.

The pilot loses perspective of attitude, altitude, and airspeed. He can no longer be certain of the plane’s flight path. He might be in a tight turn while he thinks he is flying straight or be plummeting in a deep dive while perceiving he is soaring to a higher altitude. The consequences can be deadly.

Even veteran pilots can end up in bad situations. The helicopter crash that killed Los Angeles Laker legend Kobe Bryant, his 13-year-old daughter, and seven others was due to the poor decision of an experienced pilot to push the limits of bad weather flying rules. The pilot climbed into clouds, became disoriented about the helicopter’s position relative to the horizon, and made a descending left turn into a cloud-obscured California hillside.

The best plan to guard against the dangers of spatial disorientation is to trust the instrument panel. Flight instructors teach student pilots to trust the cockpit instruments, more than intuitive instincts. Again, in stressful times, perception may not be the same as reality.

For most of us, the similarity would be driving in a dense fog where signposts and familiar landmarks are hidden from view.

I am well-acquainted with the mind-boggling confusion and fear of that uncertainty. Alzheimer’s patients often experience this sense of feeling disoriented and unsure of where they are.

Self-centeredness has a similar effect on our spiritual senses. We lose our way in a relationship, make incorrect adjustments, and fail to realize we are in a graveyard spiral. Unaware of the danger to our soul, we hide our spiritual struggles from others who could help. Instead, we make life-changing corrections based on our perception of right or wrong.

The worst thing in times of changing conditions is to react with what we feel is right. We become overwhelmed with anger and bitterness, so we defend ourselves and blame the wrong on others. Sometimes, our inclination is to strike back or turn away. Too often, those impulses end up like a hillside disaster.

Regrettably, I have experienced spiritual disorientation too many times in life, but this time was the longest and worst. Changing circumstances set in like a dense fog to temporarily cloud spiritual senses. The darkness of the soul hid spiritual reality.

Sometimes in life and death, we cannot see God anywhere. We question whether God is still in control or whether there is even a God at all. Pushed off course by the wild winds of tragedy, we lose sight of our true horizon.

Bitter pills, broken hearts, and crushed dreams produce turbulence of hopelessness and clouds of despair. Death of a loved one can become a reality check for the living. A bad medical prognosis can do the same thing. Spiritual bearings need a dependable reference.

How are we supposed to live? How do we prepare to die? What ultimately matters? What will be our instrument panel of truth when everything else fails?

When faced with spiritual disorientation, the psalmist declared, I will lift my eyes to the hills. My help comes from the LORD (#1 Textbook).

God is still working all things for our good. All things. Even now. In every season of life. In the face of loss and changing circumstances. Even in the valley of the shadow of death.

I realized my heart was bitter, and I was all torn up inside…I was senseless…Even so, I am in your presence. You grasp my right hand and guide me with your counsel, leading me to a glorious destiny. You alone are for me on earth and in the heavens. Who else is there to trust? (#1 Textbook).

That is right. Who else is there to trust except the One who is forever faithful? That message reminder was delivered by a tiny sparrow chirping on my fence as if it had no worries in the world. I recalled the reading from the #1 Textbook instrument panel.

“A sparrow never worries. God never forgets even one of them. There is no reason for you to fear; you are far more valuable to God. He will take care of you.”

Reality was different than my perception. Thank you to all the little sparrows in the world who point our focus back to the spiritual instrument panel.

Amid spiritual disorientation due to my trials, I failed to do what I was trained to do, trust the reliability of life’s instrument panel found in the #1 Textbook. God is with me and for me.

God always knows where I am, where I need to be, how and when to get me there. So, be faithful and happy now.

The true horizon will always guide me to safety where love and trust are constant companions.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take 

The clouds you so much dread                                                                                                   

Are big with mercy and soon shall break                                                                                     

with blessings on your head. (Wm. Cowper)

Spiritual pilots are trained to live by faith, not sight. God is for us, not against us. Nothing will ever separate us from His love. Not suffering. Not hardship. Not death. Nothing ever changes God’s faithfulness. Not fog or darkness. Not change or conflict.

Here, in a nutshell, is the good news to which every spiritual instrument points.

Jesus voluntarily became our Substitute Pilot to realign us in a new direction and eternal destiny. God treated His perfect loving Son on the cross as if He lived our sinful self-centered lives in order that God might treat us forever as if we lived the perfect, loving life of Jesus, with the promise we will be seated with Him forever in the highest heavenly place of honor, harmony, and happiness. Are you trusting Jesus to be your Spiritual Pilot?

I needed to remember the basics of spiritual life. God’s responsibility is to work all things together for my good and the good of my family. My responsibility is to love God and love others.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord (#1 Textbook). Hope is not some wish or dream. It is not some brain-washed platitude or spiritual crutch. We have a Pilot for our souls. The skies will clear. The storm will lessen. We will see HOPE on the horizon. God will get us home safely.

Hope is the confident expectation that we will still experience                                                  all the future goodness God has promised……somehow…someway…sometime.

I would have despaired and lost heart unless I believed that I would still see the hope and goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (#1 Textbook).

By God’s grace, I have my spiritual bearings. I messed up. I made a mess. I became a mess. Through it all, God never loved me less. What a blessing! What a dance lesson!

As Celine Dion sings, “It’s all coming back to me now.” Even when I mess up the dance steps, God never loves me less. The Lord always loves first and loves most.

My concern is for you who might be experiencing spiritual disorientation. I sympathetically understand the confusion of relationship problems. Loving first and loving most make you feel more vulnerable.

We perceive we were blind-sided or unfairly criticized. We feel the relationship is irreparably broken or certainly doomed. Our tendency is to make a knee-jerk reaction to get out of the tumultuous circumstances.

We want to explain and defend ourselves. We want to strike back with hurtful words and retaliatory actions. Self-protective instincts do not help us or the other persons. They only contribute to a crash and burn scenario.

• Always trust the #1 Textbook instrument panel. Turbulent times are never an excuse to forget the most important thing in life. Please check your instrument panel. Love First and Love Most, even when you feel as though that other person is not loveable.

• Do not make decisions based on your feelings or circumstances or even your thoughts, especially in the midst of strained or broken relationships. In moments of anxiety and stress, make decisions based on the #1 Textbook instrument panel, not your instincts or natural reactions. False perception leads to poor decisions, even paralysis in love and life.

• Truth instructs us how to live and why. It empowers hope which gives guidance and direction beyond our earthly, self-centered perspective.

• Hope always lands the disoriented heart in a safe place. Always.

Do you know anyone who has made a mess or has become one? They could use a blessing of love and a lesson of hope.

God’s #1 Textbook is the proven instrument panel that we can trust in times of grief, emotional stress, and spiritual disorientation. I encourage you to look to God for help and hope. Then look for people in need of that same help and hope. They do not need a lecture. They need hope. Share with them the uncondemning, unending, inclusive love which stabilizes and strengthens the disoriented soul.

PERMANENT #1 TEXTBOOK INSTRUMENT PANEL READING:

• You will always land safely when you Love First and Love Most.*God’s role is to work all things out for your good, including the relationships and the circumstances surrounding your life.

• Your role is to remember the most important thing in every situation.

Love them first and love them most. Never love them less.

What do you do when you get spiritually oriented?

Use your platform of influence to give help to others.    (next session)                            

Love Anchor 1: Remember the most important thing in life. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength; and love others as yourself.