LET THEM EAT CAKE! (Part 1) WINSDAY WISDOM

SESSION 14

I stood in the corner alone as the short, elderly lady walked toward me with a piece of cake. This was a celebration party, but I was neither the one celebrating or being celebrated. I was hated.

Hated. Not like in the cultural world of social media where dislike buttons connect with spiteful memes or hurtful tweets. Not like closer to home where an angry child yells his disapproval of a parental decision. Not like a movie review or a political rant or a protest slogan or a pandemic reaction.

Hated. Like the Arab Muslims and Jews. Like the Ukranians and Russians. Like the Hatfields and the McCoys. Like the Packers and Bears. Like Will Smith and Chris Rock. Like social media on steroids in a politically charged pandemic.

As the woman in the pink dress slowly strolled across the fellowship hall, our eyes met. Anxiety and anticipation had a domino effect which worsened and intensified as most of the crowd turned to watch this latest episode of Cake Wars. Why would she so graciously offer the elephant in the room a piece of cake?

She stopped in front of me, reached for my elbow, extended my arm, and opened my hand. Then she smiled as she placed the chocolate fudge cake inside my palm and closed my hand around it.

Was this act strategically planned or a spontaneous improvisation? Was it a reprisal of her portrayal of the Wicked Witch of the West? Apparently, she enjoyed her role and so did the audience. As the cake squished through my fingers, she patted me on the shoulder and asked if I liked cake.

Something happened in that moment which defied normalcy. With a slight wave from my dry hand and a nod of acknowledgment to the concerned onlookers, I whispered to the cake lady, “Thank you. I guess I needed that.”

She huffed and returned to the laughter of her proud crowd of onlookers who pressed her for encore reenactments of my stunned reaction.

I turned for the back door, dropped the cake into the trash can, found a paper towel, and exited the room. I passed the stunned faces of my secretary and her husband who expressed their remorse for the incident. Elvis has left the building!

Fortunately, I did not make the situation worse with some angry remark or stupid reaction. It was even a greater blessing that my wife left for home earlier in the day to be with my parents, in town for a celebration with my favorite birthday cake. I remembered my wife’s instructions not to eat cake at the church event, but no restrictions were in place regarding wearing cake on my hands and clothes.

I resolved not to tell my wife or parents about the earlier events of the evening for fear my dad and my wife would be at the lady’s door waiting for her arrival. It would not have been a pretty sight.

Let them eat cake! The phrase is often attributed to Marie Antoinette, the last Queen of France before its Revolution. When she received the report that the impoverished people were starving because of lack of bread, her callous cold-hearted comment was, “Let them eat cake!”

The peasants reply to the out-of-touch, aristocratic royalty was, “Off with their heads!”

Can you envision the two sides facing off in a stadium setting in a battle of competing slogans? Let them eat Cake! Off with their heads! Let them eat cake! Off with their heads!

I guess the Queen ate cake before she was carted off to the guillotine.

Presently, the flippant expression, “Let them eat cake!” is used to deny concern for someone’s problems, similar to saying, “I don’t care about what happens to those people.”

Let them eat cake! That is what I wanted to say that night, but the potential cake-eaters would not have understood the context. Besides, I had plenty of easily understandable words running through my mind. Thankfully, the Lord controlled my tongue!

I was four months into a new pastorate in a different state. The church had been without a pastor for over two years. The transition to my tenure did not go well. The complaint box was filled to overflowing. The gripe and grumble waiting line to the office extended out into the hall.

The very first day on the job included a visit from a woman I did not know. She delivered a handwritten list of five disappointments in my leadership, my one-day leadership. If she had just waited to get to know me, she could have filled a notebook.

Just for the record, how much does someone have to hate to say something before they actually do not say it? When people cannot say something kind, it would be nice if they had the decency to be vague.

I am far from perfect and possess remaining tendencies to run in the wrong direction. However, I had been very happy and blessed with loving and supportive parishioners in my previous pastoral ministries. At least, they were never mean to me or my family.

There were many kind and wonderful people in this new church, future lifelong friends. Their big hearts overflowed with love for God and my family. While they loved, others hated. The “cake incident” was only the tip of the iceberg. The early months played out in new physical, emotional, and spiritual territory for us. It was the House of Horrors.

The boring short version of the lowlights included people in positions of influence angrily leaving the church. One week, several leaders taught Bible study at 9:30 and then crossed town to join another church at 11:00. A petition was circulated to fire me. It quickly collected enough signatures to carry the majority in the next business meeting vote. Disgruntled choir members loudly mocked me in song behind my back during the worship music. “Look how holy he is. He doesn’t even need a hymnal to sing the words. I heard he will be fired.”

Anonymous hate letters included various fonts and four-lettered words. The local chapter of the KKK felt the need to send their greetings. There was a handful of late-night calls with death threats to my wife and children. No kidding. No exaggeration.

From my perspective, the problem was deeply rooted in my desire for the church to express love for others in an inclusive manner regardless of racial, social, or cultural differences. I underestimated the history behind those challenges.

From the perspective of the disgruntled, the cause centered on dislike of my leadership and the grievances became innumerable. I was not what they were used to in the past and not what they wanted for the future. I understood that. Unfortunately, longtime friendships were hurt by the divisiveness. My heart ached over that. Two years prior to my pastorate, I told the search committee I thought the church was divided. My arrival just burst the blister.

“All conflict is caused by unmet or unrealistic expectations” (#1 Textbook).

Sometimes we do not give love a chance. Sometimes we do not give enough effort to understand the other person. Sometimes our hurt becomes hate. Lies, accusations, and rumors swept through the membership list like a wildfire.

There were days my life felt like the statue for the pigeons at the county courthouse.

A woman screamed at me in WalMart that I ruined her life (cleanup on aisle three). One man literally tried to run me over at the supermarket with a shopping cart and loudly bragged to his wife that he almost took care of the problem (cleanup on aisle eight).

Another man chose the church parking lot to yell his expletive version of “Off with your head!” (cleanup in the parking lot). None of that was as frightening as the bullet that crashed through our patio glass door near where my toddler son was playing. (I think they were shooting at the dog).

One Sunday as I stood in the pulpit to teach God’s Word, more than half of the congregation rose to their feet in a mass protest exodus. The city paper even notified me of their plans to publish an expose on why so many people were leaving our church. I suggested it might be for the same reason people choose Burger King over McDonalds. Preference.

There you have it in a nutshell. Why is all this a session in Winsday Wisdom? Fair question since I made a similar inquiry of God.

I sat in my upstairs office alone, dismayed, and unhappy. There was a pity party going on, just no cake. I stared at the ceiling. I buried my head into my hands. My cries were muffled.

Then I looked out the window and shouted out to no one there, which seemed to be the same number as whoever might care, “Why is this happening to me? Why? Why?”

God was there and God cared. His words were audible to my heart. This time His voice sounded like my lawyer friend in a closing argument to a befuddled jury.

“You told Me you wanted to be more like Jesus. Well, Jesus loved His enemies, so I gave you some real enemies. These people hate you; so, learn to love them.”

That was my late for the plane at the airport moment. I had forgotten the most important thing in life. Love God and Love Others.

I was running in circles chasing the wind in the wrong direction, spiritually disoriented. I messed up the steps to the dance, Love First, Love Most. I failed to pay attention to the directions in my #1 Textbook.

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you (#1 Textbook).

As I sat in my study bemoaning my misfortune inflicted by the hatred of enemies, I needed to be reminded of the most important thing in life. We love God by loving others, especially enemies.

It is an amazing thing when you pay attention to your purpose in life. It affects mood and motivation. It sharpens focus and strengthens faith.

This I call to mind (pay attention) and therefore I have hope (#1 Textbook).

From that moment on, my attitude changed; so did my actions. God was alive in me to lead me to these real enemies so He could love them through me. God was with me and for me. I had not lost; I was about to win. I just needed to learn from the #1 Textbook how to dance with an enemy.

How do we learn to include our enemies in the circle of love? Follow the Lead Dancer. How does God love us first and most? “God showed His great love for us while we were still enemies, when Christ died on the cross to bring us side by side with God” (#1 Textbook).

Jesus came from God’s heavenly family to earth to make enemies into friends, to be treated as perfect dance partners. Since we are naturally enemies in a perpetual misstep, that necessitates forgiveness, which is the hardest, but greatest, demonstration of God’s love.

How do we love our enemies first and most? It starts with forgiveness with that same kind of attitude and action. All forgiveness comes from the heart of God, which should cascade through us to others.

God lives in us to lead us to others He intends to forgive through us. “Forgive others in the same manner God has forgiven you” (#1 Textbook).

What is forgiveness, why do we need it, how do we do it, and what does it accomplish?

Our #1 textbook emphasizes five primary descriptive terms of forgiveness:

1. Take away everything divisive.

2. Cover every offense out of sight and out of mind.

3. Blot out all evidence or record of wrong.

4. Scatter all bitterness as far as east is from west, never to return.

5. Bury the problem in the depths of the sea to sink like a heavy boulder, never to float to the top.

Love forgives first and forgives most. It eliminates the offense from the recycle setting in one’s mind and it releases the offender from any and all retribution. Clean record. No grudges. No bitterness.

Forgiveness treats enemies as if they never hurt you or hated you, even when they still do.

What? That’s impossible!

Why would we want to let the other person off the hook without the hate of revenge and the hurt of retribution? We don’t. God does!

LOVE FORGIVES FIRST before the enemy ever says he or she is sorry, even if they say they are NOT sorry. Love is the first to set aside every difference and all divisions.

LOVE FORGIVES MOST by being unilateral, all-inclusive, undeserved, unconditional, and unlimited in its scope. Forgiveness is Free. Full. Forever.

Love forgives first. Love forgives most.

As I sat in my office somewhat stunned but also thrilled, I was thankful to be reminded to hold onto the most important thing in life before boarding that final flight to Heaven.

At some point in life, every one of us will be given the opportunity to love those who have offended us. They might criticize, gossip, slander. Those who hurt us might even hate us. At their worst, they are potential dance partners.

Love your enemies. Debate less. Judge even less. Condemn never.

Do not hate or hurt others; do not shut them down or shut them out.

Be less offensive and the least offended.

Forgive first. Forgive most. You will be healthier and happier.

For the record, I was blessed to pastor another twenty-three years at the “Cake Church.”

They have big hearts! It is part of their spiritual DNA. They are our Family. They continue to teach us how to Love First and Love Most.

Love an enemy. Do good to someone who hates you.                                         

Bless someone who has talked badly to you or about you.

Pray for someone who mistreated you.

Forgive someone today.

Celebrate with Cake!

Why do we need to forgive, how do we do it, and what does it accomplish?

(next session)