HANGING ON

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 209

Sometimes you feel as if you are emotionally hanging on by one thin thread unraveling in your hands. Thankfully, God has a firm grip on the other end, and He will never let you go.

Sometimes our relationships can leave us hanging on. The Supremes had a classic hit song titled, You Keep Me Hangin’ On.

Why do you keep a-coming around
Playing with my heart?
Why don’t you get out of my life
And let me make a new start?
Let me get over you
The way you’ve gotten over me, hey

You just keep me hangin’ on (Ooh-ooh-ooh)
Now you don’t really want me
You just keep me hangin’ on

More often than not, it is customer service that keeps us hanging on…and on…and on.

We have all experienced it. We have all been frustrated by it. We might need to correct a false charge or file a complaint or get some information about our account. It should be a quick Q&A. But it starts with an automated response designed to make you jump through hoops until your exasperation level exceeds its emotional limits.

I am certain you have stories to top my latest encounter. Airlines, internet service, cell phone issues, and insurance lead the list. My account is just intended as a mutual bonding experience between us. Just nod and say, “Been there.”

My recent visit to the doctor resulted in the receptionist informing me that my secondary health insurance was inactive. That was shocking news to me. I came home and called my insurance company.

I received the traditional automated recording requesting my identification and purpose for calling. [Please note that I know most of the hacks to get to a real person. Keep punching zero because screaming at the cell phone does not work. My best method is to drive my SUV through the front doors of the office complex and request some personal attention.]

First comes the automated option, For English, continue. Para español, oprime dos. That is followed by the announcement that this call might be recorded. Oh, please do. Next comes the admonition to hang up and call 911 if this is a life-threatening medical emergency. The customer service office hours are detailed, which are usually closed when I have time to call for assistance.

The automated voice continues with a notice that due to Covid, high call volume, or March Madness, the wait time will be longer than normal. {Note that the initial recording does not respond to sarcastic questions such as, “Do you mean longer than the normal eighteen-hour call-waiting period?”]

Then comes the suggestion that it might be faster and more convenient to log on to their website. Of course, you will need to sign up, log in, insert your username and password. Former passwords are not allowed. You must use a password that conforms to their demand that the password be nine letters long and not easily identifiable. It must include one capital letter, one special character (I tried to declare my brother Bill as a special ed character, but that did not work), no repeated numbers, and no numbers that I might ever remember.

That password was weak, medium, “This is a bunch of bunk” is unacceptable.

I will need to insert all my personal info: name, address, phone, email, marital status, health condition, and payment preference. That will get me a code sent to my email to verify that I am who I am. If I can access the site with my new code, it will ask me to prove that I am not a robot by selecting the picture squares with a crosswalk or bus or blue whale.

A correct response allows me to scroll for information that tells me I need to contact the main customer service department by phone. Please call this 800 number that I was previously on so I can hear the five-minute introduction once again.

Back to the glad to have me as a customer service menu. Finally, I am connected to the customer service call center located somewhere on the other side of the universe. Speed is not considered an important factor.

There is another recording. “Please listen carefully as our menu has changed.” How sad is it that the company expects me to complain so often that I have the menu memorized!

If you need insurance, say or dial 1. If you need a list of doctors and hospitals under this plan, say or dial 2. If you are about to curse, say or dial 3.” Then you must listen to options 4, 5, 6, and 7. “If you wish to speak to a live customer representative, say or dial 8.” Hooray! The jackpot. It would be easier to win the lottery.

Please hang on at the end of this call for a brief survey.

A real voice? No, a recording that I am now customer eight in the queue. Thirty-five minutes later, I am now next in line.

Finally…Thank you for waiting. Your call is important to us.” More music. I am not as stupid as I act. If this call were important to the company, they would have expedited a personal conversation.

This recording by a professional spokesperson played by a machine was made years ago by someone who has zero interest in my existence or current situation. There is no possible way that the originators of this message are sorry I have to wait.

And what does the company expect from these countless irritations and aggravations?

My anger level has been recalibrated. I am about to make another innocent person feel as miserable as I do.

A glimmer of hope. It sounds like a human voice. “Are you still hanging on?”

“Please do not hang up, someone will be with you shortly.“

Why did I teach my grandkids that patience was ‘waiting with a smile’?

To expedite your service, please say or type in your name. Rex Blankenship. Did you say Rex Blankenship? Say or Press 1 for ‘Yes.’ Say or Press 2 for ‘No.’

What is your date of birth? I did not get that. Could you repeat that? Now confirm that with a ‘Yes.”  [Note: There are many more questions, but you know the drill. Every answer is repeated and must be confirmed.]

Before you talk to the customer representative, be sure to have your drivers license, insurance card, and case number available. If you do not have those ready, please keep hanging on until you do…or call back later.

Really??? Are you kidding me? I just want to talk to a real person! Customer service technology does not take note of my body language, facial expressions, or comedic sarcasm. At this point, wouldn’t you just like to hear the non-person automated system reply, “You do not have to shout!”

Shazam! It happens! A live voice comes on the line. ‘This is Bura????somebody. Thank you for your patience. Who am I talking to?”

Of course, I can barely understand the foreign accent or their name. I am not prejudiced of people from other countries. I admire their willingness to work and to learn to be conversant in a new language. I am just saying that it can make the customer experience challenging.

What is your name? Rex. Can you spell that? First of all, I imagine my name appears on your computer screen along with all the other personal information your insurance company has about me. If you listen, you can hear my voice get louder and more emphatic.

R-E-X. Did you say R-E-S? No, R as in Radio, E as in Echo. X as in X-ray. Did you say R-E-X-A?

This is not going to go well.

Several times, I had to ask him to repeat his questions which I could not understand. Every time, he asked me to repeat my answer and spell it out.

It got worse when I responded that I lived in Broken Arrow. I had to spell it out several times. He asked me if I were Indian. When I said the city was in Oklahoma, he asked how to spell that. Then the coup-de-gras was when he asked if Oklahoma was in the United States. No lie!

I know you don’t really care about my detailed description at this point, so just put me on hold and play some music. Check back in a few moments for any progress in this tale.

He kept me hanging on! I will condense this interaction to a frenzy of frustration. Eventually, he passed me to another agent who spoke better English but was even more confusing.

I was never notified of the cancellation or any opportunity to be reinstated. When I asked why I was deactivated, I was placed on hold. She returned to tell me that another department made the decision, and she would transfer this call to them.

I was Number Four in the queue. More music. More suggestions to use the online connection.

Why was my insurance canceled? She actually asked me if I had tried to Google the answer.

She asked if I made any payments. I replied, “Don’t you have a record of my payments? I am looking at my bank statements and I have a record of them.”

Her response? “Do you mind hanging on while I check that?”

I would have felt more hopeful if I were hanging on a tight rope over Niagara Falls while visitors pelted me with snowballs.

The Tier Two representative asked me if she could help me with anything else today. What? You were unable to help me with the issue I contacted you about.

I think she noticed the sarcasm in my voice.

The kind lady customer representative remarked that she did not know the reason, but could connect me with the Resolutions Department. That is not the same as the Accounting Department.

I chose my words carefully. I placed safeguards on the tone of my voice. I wanted to sing the Supremes’ song.

You say although we broke up
You still wanna be just friends
But how can we still be friends
When seeing you only breaks my heart again?
And there ain’t nothing I can do about it

Whoa-whoa-whoa
Set me free, why don’t you, baby?
Whoa-whoa-whoa
Get out my life, why don’t you, baby? (Ooh-ooh-ooh)
Set me free, why don’t you, baby?
Get out my life, why don’t you, baby? 

You just keep me hangin’ on!

Hanging on. It can be frustrating. Usually, it is because we are hopeful, if only slightly hopeful. I know you can identify with frustrating customer service.

What about your own emotional hanging on or that of someone you know? There can be lingering effects from fear, grief, anxiety, or worry. It might be triggered by devastating news, stressful circumstances, unexpected loss. You feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.

You might even feel spiritually disconnected or relationally detached. Your spiritual vision is impaired; your thinking is clouded. Sadness becomes your constant companion. You cannot just “snap out of it” and feel better. Something is wrong.

You feel trapped in a prison of extreme loneliness where you imagine no one cares while you battle fear that someone might check on you. You feel judged, condemned. Feelings of helplessness and uselessness and worthlessness weigh you down with self-imposed guilt. You begin to emotionally shut down, too weak to even lift your eyes toward the horizon of hope. Just hanging on by a thin thread.

Sometimes all you can do is sit in the darkness of your hurt and cry. Sometimes your prayers feel frozen in time and space. In the midst of that discouragement, the God of hope sits down beside you in the darkness, takes your hand, and holds you through the night. You are not judged; you are loved.

Even when you do not see God, feel God, hear God, sense God, God is still there, with much love and understanding, with no condemnation.

God never promised that life would be easy and carefree, but God does promise that he will never abandon us. Weeping may tarry through the night, but joy comes in the morning (#1 Textbook).

Lift up the eyes of your soul. Hope is on the horizon.

Today is a good time to review your God. Replenish your faith. You are still covered. God will never let you go or cancel His steadfast love.

And you never have to listen to an automated recording when you need to talk to God. Open the #1 Textbook any time of any day or night. Just start reading and then start talking. God has heard you while your mind was still forming its thoughts into understandable words.

God knows and cares. His customer service is highly rated. God always loves first and loves most. His love is always free and forever!