LOVE FIRST…LOVE MOST

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 202

Cassius. That was the name of my dad’s prize bird dog. Cassius lives on forever in family lore, but not for the dog’s hunting prowess.

Dad loved to hunt. Because of his busy coaching schedule, hunting was more of a pastime than a passion. It offered an occasional break from the grind of athletic contests and immature athletes.

Dad admired his friends and relatives who excelled as outdoorsmen. They hunted deer, ducks, turkeys, and pheasants. For Dad, the occasional adventure was hunting quail.

One year, he decided to take it up a notch. A year-end bonus gave him the opportunity to purchase a champion bloodline bird dog. I don’t know if mom ever knew how much this dog cost. It was a small fortune for their budget.

This was his non-professional dream, a return to his childhood days with his best friends, brother Derwin and their dogs.

Dad brought the prize pup home and asked me to name him. I chose the name Cassius. That was the original name of the greatest heavyweight boxer of all time before he changed his name to Muhammed Ali.

Subsequent dogs would follow with boxing monikers: Tyson, Sugar Ray, and Rocky. We also owned a George Foreman grill.

Cassius Clay. Swift and strong. Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. “I am the greatest. I said that before I knew I was.”

Dad had high hopes for the pup. The seller told him this pup would be a world-class hunter, the envy of all his hunting buddies. The training went well. Cassius was obedient and a quick learner. He was fast and fierce. He would go and stop on command. He showed off as an excellent retriever.

Unfortunately, Cassius had an Achilles Heel. It was not a bad leg. It was a fearful fright of the sound of a shotgun. With one loud shot, the champion-bred bird dog sped into the background. AWOL.

Yep. Cassius was a pacifist. A conscientious objector. Maybe he wanted to change his name. Dad would find his scaredy-cat prize champion bloodline bird dog waiting back at the truck.

This fear of loud noises was never remedied. Things got to the point where Cassius would hide whenever he saw his owner loading the car for the hunt. Eventually, Cassius stayed home with me while Dad went quail hunting.

Dad’s Best Buy Bird Dog was a Bust.

My friends, Bo and Cliff, had their own hunting dog story. They were more involved in hunting than my dad. Their eyes were on a much bigger prize. They had an opportunity to purchase a top-of -the-line raccoon hunting dog.

A Treeing Walker Coonhound. Don’t let the name fool you. The sweet-faced Walkers are runners. The full stride of their long, muscular legs is propelled by powerful hindquarters, and their streamlined frame helps them cover maximum ground with minimum effort.

“Treeing” describes the dog’s ability to chase its quarry up a tree and then stand below barking loudly and vigorously. They are high-energy. High speed. High endurance.

This dog was sired by a top-of-the-line champion. Grand Knight bloodlines. Expensive. Very expensive.

The brothers were young family men who worked hard to make a living. A world champion Treeing Walker Coonhound would seem like an unnecessary luxury to the wives. The cost was so high it would necessitate a loan.

That left them with only one possibility. Their best friend, Randy, was the new vice-president of a local bank. Nothing wrong was done, but Randy was probably the only person in the world who would grant this loan for this purpose to these two guys.

The prize dog had to be the collateral for a three-year note. Bo would make the loan payment one month and Cliff took care of the next. All was well in the raccoon hunting business venture. Raccoon hunting was profitable as well as fun. The meat was good for food, distributed among friends, and the raccoon hides were highly marketable.

Mother MayBelle was everything she was hyped to be. She sped through the woods in the dark of night. She embarked on the chase with high energy. She treed and spotted the frightened raccoons for her master. She retrieved them in championship style.

One night near the end of the first year, Mother MayBelle’s midnight run ended with a heart attack. Bo had to break the news to Cliff in a 2 AM phone call. They had a dead dog and were in deep debt.

The next day, the brothers appeared in front of the desk of the bank loan officer. They had a question. “What happens if someone cannot pay off their loan?”

Randy answered, “The bank takes back the collateral.”

Bo replied, “Well, I was hoping that was the case. Mother MayBelle is in the back of the truck.”

(Note: I am obligated to report that the loan was fully repaid. The friendships remained steadfast. Mother MayBelle’s memory became a lore of laughter.)

Cassius was not in the back of the truck, just on his last legs. He became so old and so weak that he could barely stand. He spent his days in the backyard dog pen. He could barely crawl away from his own poop. My family allowance job was to feed Cassius and clean out his pen. I shoveled and gagged while Cassius dragged his body to a new area.

Dad expected to find Cassius dead every morning. Crawling over to eat his food was about the only exercise the old bird dog would get.

One morning. Cassius was gone. Not dead. Not in the dog pen. Gone. Vanished. He was not worth stealing. That would have been a blessing in disguise.

A search of the neighborhood revealed no clues. Cassius had disappeared. The next morning, Cassius was lying beside our back door. The rejuvenated bird dog jumped up and walked to his pen for some breakfast. What happened?

Well, whatever happened, would reoccur several times each year for the next three years. The weak-legged, shotgun-fearing champion bird dog looked as if he could not survive another night. We expected Bird Dog Heaven at any moment.

But then, Cassius would mysteriously disappear and then unexpectedly reappear like a frolicking pup. No lie. No exaggeration.

Dad was determined to find out how Cassius escaped the dog pen. There was no evidence of a hole in the fence. No indication of Cassius digging a hole under the fence. Cassius could not jump the six-foot fence because he was so feeble he could not hop over his water bowl.

One morning, Dad looked out the window to watch Cassius climbing the fence. Yes. Climbing. One weak paw into a square piece of wire followed by another until he ascended to the top of the fence. As he wobbled at the top, he eventually fell out into the yard on his face.

Dad put Cassius back into the dog pen. The old pet could barely stand. As soon as we were out of sight, he began another climb. This time, our entire family stood in amazement at Cassius’ weak but determined adventure.

As Cassius recovered his senses following his fall from the top of the fence, he hobbled out the backyard, down the alley, and headed for the next block. Dad got into his car to follow and retrieve the wayward canine.

The pursuit ended with a revelation of the motivation that moved Cassius from the wings of the undertaker to the fancy prancing return of a conquering hero.

Cassius found Bird Dog Heaven here on earth! He had a girlfriend just three blocks away!

I will just leave it at that.

Cassius may not have been a champion bird dog, but his legend lives on in our family lore. Cassius has left the building!

What does Bird Dog Heaven have to do with our mission to love first and love most?

We can make excuses for how bad we feel or how hard it is. We can complain about circumstances and criticize others. We can crawl in a hole and wait for everything to be over.

Or…we can find some motivation that is greater than our weaknesses and problems!

For most of us, we do not lose the desire to love. We do not quit. We just become complacent.

Complacency—a situation of unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. We feel content with our spiritual condition while unaware of our deficiencies and dangers.

Our spiritual danger is not being overactive or getting older. We are all in danger of becoming casual about love for God and others. We intend to follow Jesus. We plan to implement the directions in the #1 Textbook regarding loving first and most.

Instead, our spiritual complacency results in us drifting back into selfishness and worldliness. We go through the spiritual motions of loving others, somewhat satisfied if we do not love worse than others on this journey.

Complacency loses sight of the goal. It no longer responds to motivation.

Love needs motivation to pursue its goal.

Motivation—your reason for behaving a certain way; your influence, incentive, or stimulus for action. It is the driving force for a desired goal.

Whatever your situation, you are not too old or too weak or too poor to love others. You just need some motivation.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and teacher. He loved us enough to die a shameful death because of all the joy to come later (#1 Textbook).

Jesus’ amazing love for us is our motivation to love others. This is no time to be casual or complacent about loving God and loving others.

We are all nearer to Heaven than we would like to admit. There is a Heavenly Love awaiting us.

How about some Heavenly Love now?

Jesus lives inside you to lead you to others He intends to love through you.

Now is the time to Love First and Love Most. Little acts of love can rejuvenate your heart.

Follow our leader. There is someone to love first and most today.

Climb the fence. Get back in the game. Pick up the pace.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 2.1

You know exactly who that person is in your life. Maybe several names spring to mind

Why is this “love first and love most” thing so hard?

I resolved to start the new year with a renewed awareness to Love First and Love Most. It wasn’t really a Resolution, just a good intention. I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to Love first and most before I have ignored or blown the initial opportunity.

First week of the year, I go into Jersey Mike’s for some sub sandwiches. I have a regular order, but there is a different guy behind the counter. The place is not too busy; I am ahead of the lunch crowd.

I was greeted with a smile, “How’s it going?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Can’t complain. What you havin’?”

“I would like two mini sandwiches on white bread. I want a #3 (ham) with no cheese and a #8 (club).”

For those unfamiliar with this sub shop, they freshly slice the meats and cheese in front of you, place the cut slices on the bread, then return the large meat back into the refrigerated case before starting another order. The young butcher did his part and then slid the meat and bread down the counter for another attendant to dress it with condiments. The customer can choose to have the savory sandwich “Mike’s Way” or with whatever vegetables and condiments he/she prefers.

I looked at the two sandwiches as the “veggie” attendant asked me what I wanted on them. One was ham with cheese and the other was turkey with cheese.

I said, “Sir, excuse me. That is not what I wanted. I do not want any cheese on the ham.”

I intended to say, “Just take off the cheese.” Before I could finish my sentence or stop his reaction, the sandwich maker tossed the ham and cheese into the trash. He quickly made me another sandwich and slid the two meat-covered mini breads to the other attendant at the condiment section.

I stared at the two sandwiches. The new mini sub looked like turkey, not ham. Now I had turkey on both sandwiches. I remarked, “Excuse me, sir. That’s not correct.”

The butcher never looked up as he countered with, “That’s a #3 and #8, just like you ordered.”

I replied, “That looks like two turkey sandwiches. One with cheese and one without cheese, but I am kinda sure they both look like turkey.”

Yep, I was definitely staring at two turkey sandwiches and possibly one turkey server. He stared at the sandwiches and then glared at me. “So, you don’t want two turkey sandwiches?”

My server tossed one mini turkey into the trash as I interrupted, “It’s ok if you just add ham to the one with turkey and cheese.”

He was visually agitated but quickly fixed another ham with cheese and shoved it down the line. We were now back to the way he started my order. One ham with cheese and one turkey with cheese.

“There you go.” Now he started with the next person’s large order. The next few minutes would produce a growing line of customers in a hurry to grab some lunch.

“Sir, I just want a #3 with no cheese and a #8. Please.”

His response, “Don’t confuse me with the numbers. Just make up your mind and tell me what you want.”

For the record, at Jersey Mike’s, the #3 is a ham sandwich and the #8 is a club sandwich with ham, turkey, and cheese. The original Jersey Mike’s opened in New Jersey in 1956. It began franchises in 1987. I am fairly certain that the #3 and #8 on the menu have not changed over the last thirty-five years.

“I would like a ham with no cheese and another sandwich with ham, turkey, and cheese.”

“Ham and no cheese?”

“Right.”

He set me up with a ham with cheese and a pastrami with no cheese. No kidding. The meat-cutter was busy piling up four sandwiches for the next order.

What do I do? Do I just walk out? Do I make a scene? Do I just pay for the sandwiches and chalk it up to a wrong order?

I kept shifting my weight back and forth from left foot to right foot. My mind was in whisper mode. Love First. Love Most. It’s a two-step dance. Lean with your weight shifted to the left foot and say to yourself, “Love First.” Lean right and say, “Love Most.” Repeat as necessary.

Now, I have to admit that I also thought of another place to put my foot.

While I danced and deliberated, the guy looked up at me with frustration and asked, “What’s wrong now?”

“That one sandwich looks like pastrami.”

“Yep, that’s what you ordered. You said you wanted a Number Three.”

I thought I was right on this one, but his insistence rattled my confidence. I looked up at the big menu board. Number Three still read “Ham.” Maybe I could fix the misunderstanding.

“Keep the ham and cheese. Could you just add some turkey to it? That will work. And then, fix another ham but with no cheese. That would be perfect.”

He angrily threw both sandwiches into the trash. We wasted enough food to feed a good part of China.

He asked the next two customers what they wanted to order. Thankfully, they did not order a Number Three. Then he stared at me. “What do you want?”

“I would like a ham without cheese. Just ham. Nothing else. Then I want another sandwich with turkey, ham, and cheese. It really does not matter if it has cheese or not.”

He countered with, “That is what I fixed you. One ham and one turkey. That’s what you said.”

I faked a laugh. “I see where you could have thought that I ordered a ham sandwich and a turkey sandwich. I should have been clearer with my order.”

Please note that I was saying something extremely different than what I was thinking.

“I would like the turkey and ham on the same sandwich. Then another sandwich with ham only. No cheese. Thank-you.”

The line of customers was getting angry. Some grumbled. One couple walked out in disgust. The sandwich maker was angry. As he threw more food into the trash, a co-worker walked by and said to him, “Are you alright?”

His loud reply, “No, this guy cannot make up his mind what sandwich he wants. He keeps changing his order.”

Now the counter crowd is muttering and whispering. One older man yells out, “Let’s get this line moving. People are in a hurry.”

Another waiting customer entertained us with his take on the situation. “I could have gone home and showered and still been back in time to get my sandwich.”

Ha. Ha. Really?

A young couple was the newest addition to the end of the waiting line. A lady turned and offered her loud condolences. “They are usually very fast here, but this one guy is holding up everyone. He keeps changing his order.”

Are you serious? Thank you, Karen. Thank you for your delicate discretion so as not to be overheard by anyone out on the street. Would you like to paint a bullseye on my back and pass out darts to everyone?

The wild mob was growing in numbers and impatience. I am staring at two more wrong sandwiches. You have to be kidding me! Is this Candid Camera or an episode from What Would You Do?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Exactly. Me too. That person is too hard to love first and most.

The little voice inside of me wanted to scream at everyone in the store. “I just want a ham sandwich without cheese and a club sandwich. Please hold the criticism. Please hold the sarcasm. Please hold the disgust.”

There were several more things I thought about saying. I even considered dropping the “F-bomb.”  My version of the “F- bomb” is “Forget it.” My uncle’s version was, “Kiss foot.”

The cat did not get my tongue, but, thankfully, the Lord stopped the words in my mind from making their way to my mouth.

I will spare you and the other customers the rest of the details. The fiasco got worse. The guy was having a bad day. Something was a little fried and it was not my ham sandwich.

The guy made me eight different versions of my order. That’s right. Eight. Seven were completely wrong and the eighth was partly correct.

I walked away muttering, “Thank you.” Some in the crowded line broke out into applause.

I am not trying to make you think I am some kind of saint. I thought of many things to say to embarrass the guy or cause him to get fired. I thought of several things I could do to make a scene and show how unhappy I was with the service. I even resisted the urge to storm out.

Most of you are probably thinking exactly what the impatient, hungry customers in the lengthy line were thinking. Just go, Mister. Either take the sandwich or leave. We don’t care.

I paid the cashier. Then I took the sandwiches and left. With no condiments. No Mike’s Way. Just some mini bread, meat, and one piece of cheese. I was too afraid to ask for a bag of chips. The trash bin was already overflowing.

How do you love first and most in a situation like that? How do you love a guy having a bad day? How do you love him when he is making your day worse? How do you love the upset bystanders first and most? What about the angry wise cracker? How do you love him first and most?

I hope you have the answer. It was a dilemma for me. A real pickle. Or as my trusted colleague, Jeff Segner, so often stated about my situation, “It’s a real conundrum.”

Conundrum: a confusing or difficult question. It is a puzzling problem, a paradox of conflicting resolutions which might even be impossible to solve.

Jeff resides in the State of Conundrum. He has to pay taxes to support the court system overwhelmed with his unresolved cases.

What about you? What if you want to move to the Love First and Love Most State?

Well, it is not easy. Sometimes, it is even hard. Why?

Because people are difficult to love. And that is what others are saying about me! I can tell you where to find one sandwich maker who thinks I am the most difficult person he has ever encountered. And I was trying to be nice!

Do you remember my year-end challenge from the Rocky movie? I do. “If I can change, and you can change, then we all can change.” Play the dramatic music.

Love First and Love Most resonates like a good exhortation for any Tip Toe Through the Tulips kind of person. It sounds so noble, so kind, so spiritual.

If you are going to try that two-step dance with people, then you will have to be tough. Not mean. Not hard-hearted. Tough. Determined. Not easily provoked and not easily stopped.

You will be tested. You will be challenged. You will be questioned. All of that will take place standing in front of a mirror. It’s hard to love that person looking back at you.

Wait until other people are involved! It might be easier to fly to the moon. At least, then, most of the difficult people would be over two hundred thousand miles away.

As I contemplated the sub shop scenario, I wanted to write that there are times when we cannot love first and most. Times when people are too difficult. Times when circumstances are too tense. Personalities that are too hard to crack with a love first gesture.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

There are some people in certain circumstances that are just impossible to love first and most.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

There are people we are not prepared to love first and most. There are people who make us too frustrated to keep on trying. There are people who cause us to give up because loving them first and most is hard. Very hard.

I would make a Baptist bet that you have written off someone who is difficult. They have crossed you or cursed you. They have disappointed you more than eight times. They are just hard to love.

My Winsday Wisdom for this week is “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”

If I can somehow get out of Jersey Mike’s with eight different variations of my simple order without a blowup or blowout, then there is hope. Even if everything did not go perfectly on the inside, there was progress.

I was aware of the goal. I did not lose sight of the goal. I did not give up on the goal.

I just realized this is much more difficult than learning to do a two-step dance. It goes perfectly when dancing with the Lord. However, there are a lot of stumbles when you engage another person.

The #1 Textbook has it all there in its easy to understand instructions. Be imitators of God. Use a tracing tablet. Walk in love just as Christ loved us. Follow His example.

Wow! That’s the ticket. The Lord dances with me. Sometimes I start out on the wrong foot. Sometimes I dance on the wrong foot. Sometimes I put the wrong foot in my mouth. I mess up over and over. Much more than eight times.

How does the Lord keep love-dancing with me? He never gives up.

He never embarrasses me. In fact, He covers up my missteps. He never ridicules me. He is longsuffering beyond immeasurable. He never tells me to forget it. He patiently encourages me to try again.

I stumble and fall. I complain and criticize. The Lord’s steadfast love picks me up. Over and over again.

Loving me first and most is no easy endeavor. Somehow, it is a joyful undertaking for our Lord. His forgiveness and patience exceed my miscues. His love outlasts my bad days and bad attitudes.

Imitate Him. Get out the tracing tablet.

I do not have to forget it. I never have to give up.

The Lord lives in me to lead me to others He intends to love through me. Put the lesson on repeat.

Did the Lord lead me to Jersey Mike’s so I would encounter a guy having a bad day? So bad that he could not get a Number Three order right?

Maybe the Love First and Most test was not about that guy. Maybe it was about me. Maybe the Lord was reminding me that I don’t always fulfill His requests correctly.

Maybe the Lord intended to push me out of my comfort zone to teach me that I could love someone as difficult as myself. Maybe the sub sandwich fiasco was about teaching me that loving first and most can be hard; but it can still be joyful.

I did not get the right sandwich order this week, but I practiced the two-step in a hard place. It was not really that hard. It was kinda comical.

The right response to “Hard Love” is to “Love Hard.”

How do you “Love Hard“?

Love first and most BEFORE you mess up or miss the opportunity.

Pray for me and I will pray for you as we walk in love. Let’s imitate the rhythm of that glorious two-step, Love first and Love most.

Be prepared for “That Hard Person to Love,” especially if you run into me.

I might order a Number Three…without cheese.
 

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 48

The Jeopardy game show category was “Adverbs.” The clue was “Starship Enterprise’s (Star Trek) 5-year mission included a famous split infinitive between “to” and “go.”

What is “to boldly go?” That is the correct answer.

Split infinitives. I already lost most of you except for a few English majors. Please hang on past the brief introduction. I believe there is a valid word of encouragement for all of us. You can substitute thoughts about healthy diet or exercise or anger control or any New Year’s resolution instead of split infinitives.

I have split infinitives all my life. My mother, my English teachers, and my editorial advisors have corrected and instructed me not to split infinitives. It is a lifelong habit. That is just how I talk and how I write. I have never changed. I really have never cared about changing…Until now.

WHY WOULD I CHANGE NOW? AND WHY SHOULD YOU CARE IF I CHANGE NOW?

Split infinitives: a grammatical construction in which an adverb (modifier) is placed between the preposition “to” and the verb. It is commonly used in our speech but is frowned upon by traditional educators in our writing.

Example of infinitive: “to go” or “not to go.”

Example of split infinitive: “to NOT go” or “to really go.” (The adverb has been placed in the middle of the infinitive.)

Perhaps, the best-known example of a proper infinitive is Shakespeare’s “To be or not to be.”

Best example of cultural use of the split infinitive is the Star Trek introduction, “To boldly go where no man has gone before.”

To split or not to split. That is the question.

The issue matters to some people. It never really mattered much to me. Most of you would shut this session down if it is really about grammatical construction of sentences.

I hope to just keep you around or just to keep you around for a few moments regarding why I mentioned my split infinitive dilemma.

The split infinitive has great relevance to my Love First and Love Most challenge.

Most of us are aware that the #1 Textbook provides a trusted guideline for our use of love in words and actions. However, we pay little attention to its suggested corrections or encouraging instructions on how to love first and love most.

When it comes to others, we love or not love in the manner we choose. We prefer to split the adverbs and replace the word love with self. Self-first and self-most.

In fact, our cultural acceptance of using love for self-benefit has influenced us all into mediocrity. We discount wholehearted devotion as a minor correction which can go unheeded. No need to change now.

We no longer strive for the more excellent way (#1 Textbook).

When it comes to loving others, I am a split infinitive. Set in my ways. Not planning to change. I might read a blog or listen to a sermon about loving first and most. I might even acknowledge that my words and actions do not meet that standard. But that is understandable. Even acceptable in my world.

This world understands. That is the way everyone talks. That is the way everyone loves. Our culture splits wholehearted devotion into fragmented sentences. First and most are modifiers used in reference to ourselves. We have always lived that way. No reason to change now.

I asked the rhetorical question earlier, WHY WOULD I CHANGE NOW?

BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT! BECAUSE IT IS A BETTER WAY TO LIVE (#1 Textbook).

Listen to the experts:

Mary Poppins said, “When you change the view from where you stood, the things you view will change for good.“

Spiderman declared, “Our choices make us who we are. We always have the choice to do what is right.”

Author Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

Rocky Balboa shouted encouragement to all of us at the end of Rocky IV, “If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!”

Most importantly, the #1 Textbook declares we can change. It is always right to do what is right. That has been true since the beginning of time. It is still the true test of character today.

God says it is right to love first and love most. When it comes to loving God and loving others, there are no split infinitives.

There is an aged adage which states, “You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.” Who says? Dogs are smart and are instinctively good learners. It is the dog owner who sometimes lacks the patience to teach.

Our Teacher has not given up on raising our love to a higher level. We are not old dogs. Some of us might be old and stubborn and set in our ways. However, the reason we remain here on earth is to learn how to love others without split infinitives in our hearts.

I can learn to Love First and Love Most. You can learn.

Nobody learns to love better by trying harder. Love flows from our heart’s attachment to God. God is love. We cannot become loving without the source.

God’s love is a life-changing power. God’s love changes our character.

Character is about who we are. Love is the fruit of character.

Love is not a to-do-list. It is a heart change.

Here is the APPLICATION of that truth for me.

If I can change my writing of split infinitives, then I can change my words and actions to love first and most.

Here is hope for you and those lives you touch with words and actions. If I can change, you can change.

1. Let’s start caring about whether we live and love in a more excellent way.
2. Let’s listen better to our Teacher gently correct and instruct us. Maybe we can take notes from the #1 Textbook.
3. Let’s recognize when our words and actions convey less than wholehearted devotion.
4. Let’s make a choice to change. We can even race toward the finish line.
5. Let’s learn to trace God’s love into our love for others.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE” A LOVE FIRST AND LOVE MOST PERSON.

                                          THAT IS THE QUESTION.

People can change. I can change.

Even if no one else changes, I can change.

WITH GOD’S HELP…I WILL CHANGE!

I invite you to join me in loving first and loving most. Our mission is to boldly go where we have not gone before!

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 47

Oh, the Love of Christ!
Without beginning.
Without ending.
Without interruption.
Without limits.

Relentless. Uncontainable. Inexhaustible.

It created a beautiful universe.
It gives life.
God with us.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

Sleeps in a stable.
Hangs on a cross.
Perfumes an empty tomb.
Glorifies a heavenly throne.

It shines on every face of every race
living at every pace in every space.

Love so marvelous! Love so wonderful! Love for me. A sinner. A rebel. A flawed, fallen, failure.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

It fills the mind with wonder yet surpasses understanding.
Its width exceeds the immeasurable distance of the east from the west.
Its length stretches far beyond infinity.
Its height transcends incomprehensible.
Its depth plunges lower than unfathomable.

Awe. Amazement. Admiration. Appreciation.

Its forgiveness leaves no blemish and no trace.
Its gift floods the heart with love for God and others.
It always stretches for higher levels.
It incessantly overflows beyond all boundaries.

Engulfs families.
Extends friendships.
Embraces differences.
Encompasses enemies.

Heals hurts.
Breaks barriers.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

It’s the Hope of Peace for the Separated. The Scattered. The Stressed. The Storm-tossed.

It’s the Heart of Compassion for the Suffering.
The Sick.
The Sad.
The Sorrowful.

Unsurpassed Goodness.
The storm “clouds you so much dread,
Soon will break with blessings on your head.”

Oh, the Love of Christ!

The Last are Made First.
The Least are Most Favored.
The Lost are Mercifully Found.
From every kindred, tongue, tribe, and nation.

It welcomes us into the basic Two-Step of its Divine Dance.
LOVE FIRST. LOVE MOST.

Oh, the Love of Christ !!!

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

Praying I will Learn more and Love better.
Debate less. Judge even less. Condemn never.

Love First! Love Most!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Thanks for blessing my life.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 46

Christmas time can create or invoke precious memories. I can still hear my dad repeatedly singing “White Christmas” to my new baby brother. I even remarked that I thought the little bundle who interrupted my monopoly on Christmas gifts might be getting tired of hearing that song.

This Christmas Memory was written in 1974 by my mom as therapy for a lonely heart. I share it with you to spark good Christmas memories for your heart in times of loneliness or family chaos.

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES   l974

Christmas commercialized?  Never!  Never!  Never!  Some may call it that; but God forbid that my husband, children, future grandchildren, and I lose the heritage so lovingly passed on by Mom and Dad.

My earliest memories of Christmas were in a large rambling two-story white house sitting on a small hillside about threequarters of a mile from Peabody Mining Camp called Superior Smokeless Coal and Mining Company, Mine #29.  The post office was named Tahona.

We grew up on this small farm at the edge of town with the idea that we were someone special.  No, we weren’t taught snobbery.  We were taught to use the God-given intelligence and physical stature to get ahead in life through education and hard work. 

Never were we taught that anyone owed us anything but an opportunity.  Neither were we ever told this would make us lots of money.  Money was seldom the central issue. 

There seemed to be enough for our necessities, some for our dreams, and a little for the frivolous things in our lives.  Dad worked seven days a week to provide this setting while Mom worked seven days a week guiding us to goal-setting that we hardly realized were being set.

Consequently, uppermost in the plans for the future were more and more education and work experiences.  Even the trials of World War II did not deter these plans.  Strange ideals coming from a coal mining family of self-educated parents.  Few such ideas floated around the environment where almost every other house made home brew and sold it to the next house. 

I guess our house was the buyer–just Dad.  Dad, tired and weary of a l2 to l5 hour shift at the Tipple, relaxed with a bottle or few before winding his way home to face the trials of six kids and an over-worked Mom.  Let it be known that Dad did the drinking for the whole family and before he got home. 

Mom kept many of these secrets hidden from us. If Dad were caught on Christmas Eve drinking from a peculiar-shaped bottle with a peculiar aroma, we were hastily informed it was Dad’s cough medicine.  That satisfied me.  I wanted Dad  healthy for the big Christmas celebration. 

As I have already said, Mom kept many secrets (just like the Christmas secrets) which made life good to us.  We grew up feeling that there was a special magic in the Floyd family blood. 

Grandparents were never a big part of our Christmas.  Grandma and Grandpa Floyd were not around for these celebrations because they had gone on before I can remember.  Grandpa and Grandma Morrison shared many holiday seasons with us.  Somehow, they were not the doting grandparents who heaped gifts upon us or held us in their laps and hugged us tightly.  There was more of a standoffish respect, especially on my part. 

Therefore, I feel the magic must have begun with the mingling of Mom’s and Dad’s blood.  I still feel there was a magic not fully understood, but deeply beloved about our home the year around– but building to a crescendo around Christmas time.    

Commercialized?  Yes, Dad bought three tricycles one Christmas because we had not learned that we were not an only child.  Then he had to buy two saddles for the older boys. (I know now these purchases were dearest to his hearts–later he bought all grandchildren cowboy boots–boys and girls. He liked this sort of thing.) 

I think perhaps even Big Sister got a bedroom suite for her room.  Peabody must have had a good year and gave a large bonus that year.

Now, I am more inclined to feel that this, too, was one of those guarded secrets of doing without for a year for one big splurge at Christmas for those you love. This practice continued through Mom’s lifetime. She could not manage money. She had to spend it on someone else. 

I’ve inherited the urge to spend more than I can afford at Christmas.  But I’m willing to work the rest of the year to pay for the joys of giving at Christmas.  This I inherited from Mom.  

Santa was very real to us Floyd Kids–much longer than those who lived in the camp and knew the ways of the world. My elder brothers and sisters were not the kind to belittle such beliefs. It was such a good thing to hold on to that even they were reluctant to let Mom and Dad know their doubts. 

This dedication fostered a special belief in my little brother and me.  

Finally, the day arrived that I could no longer resist asking Mom if there really was a Santa Claus. Now much has been said about the New York Times’ answer to Virginia, but I’m here to tell you that their answer to Virginia was no more legendary or effective as Mom’s answer to me. 

When she finished explaining the magic and spirit of Christmas because of the Christ Child’s putting so much love into this world, the magic Santa was greater than all real Santas who had hither fore peeped through the dining room window to see if all good little boys and girls were in bed. 

No sadness or depression filled my heart. The magic of love had filled the Santa image, and Christmas went on as usual with all the happiness, unselfishness, and love it was meant to have. 

This was the love that prompted Mom to share with the bell ringers on the streets or the paper boy who trudged through the snow to bring news from worldwide. Dad shared his tender love for under-privileged children less fortunate than his own. He would pay their way into movies so they wouldn’t have to miss life’s little goodies.

During the hustle and bustle before Christmas , one Sunday morning, Mom’s oft overworked and strained heart gave way.  All the loving family rushed to her bedside. 

Using her last ounce of strength and devotion, she spoke to each one individually to let each know that she knew we were once more gathered together. Then she slipped into eternity. 

The sorrow and lack of readiness for life without Mom flooded our souls. Although the circle had been broken, thoughts turned immediately to Dad. 

Christmas must go on as usual. It had always been special. Mom would not want it otherwise. No sorrow for the grandchildren.

Finally, as we found courage to enter the once-a-year (Christmas Season) used bedroom, we found gifts sorted and waiting to be wrapped. No, we had no written instructions. Mom was never that organized. 

But somehow, we knew which gift belonged to which child, in-law, or grandchild because of the special love for each of those individuals. There was always enough to go around no matter how large the family grew.

Never had Mom finished her shopping so early. Perhaps as she grew older, she felt she needed more time to get ready for the mob’s invasion. But to get us by our first Christmas without her in body, I like to think that Mom was prepared to provide her special type of Christmas spirit for us as we lovingly opened those gifts on that special Christmas Eve.     

My loved ones, times will change whether we want it to or not. Conditions necessitated our moving the Christmas Eve Party to my house after a year or two when the strain became too great for Dad. 

How we enjoyed the phone calls from those who were unable to attend these get-to-gathers! Now Dad, too, has gone on to meet Mom and have even greater celebrations, but Christmas Eve parties continued.

This Christmas will only memories and mailed gifts bind the remnants of this magical family? No, that is not true.

Santa may not be peeping through the dining room window at brats too excited to go to bed or parents too tired to carry sleepy-eyed toddlers up the stairway so Santa’s finishing touches could be placed under the tree.

But you may rest assured that magic of love will be prevalent in each of the six houses as the Floyd Clan gathers in each respective home for this Season’s celebration.

Love and the proud heritage of having the “blood” will live on through tales told to each generation of what Christmas really means. 

L-O-V-E–for God and man. 

With this thought in our hearts, no way can Christmas be commercialized.  A special mission we Floyd Kids and descendants have on earth is to keep this travesty from happening.

**Written l2/l7/74 as therapy for a lonely heart by Bea Floyd Blankenship.

Merry Christmas and may the Lord bless you with lots of love to share with others.

LOVE FIRST. LOVE MOST.

Create some memories!

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 45

Laugh. Think. Cry. That makes a good day. I try to add a little of all three emotions in our Winsday sessions. Today is reserved for the latter two. (Note: If you need some laughter today, check out session 24 “The Mystery of the Missing Nachos” or session 11 “Listening: I Forgot My Spouse.“)

I have many friends, close and distant, in a hard, sometimes hidden, battle. The stakes are high. The feelings are low. The struggle intense. The holiday season is sometimes the greatest challenge to guard against an implosion of darkness and despair.

Sometimes you feel as if you are holding on by a thread.

There are a multitude of causes. I offer no pat answers or easy recipes. I will not pretend to tell you that what happened to you is good. I do not intend to say you should just shake it off and act as though nothing hurtful has happened; neither do I suggest that I can forecast how your loss and suffering will turn out for good.

In all your hurt and heartache, I am pleading with you to look to the God of Comfort and Hope. He suffers and cries with you. You are His dearly loved child.

Most importantly, God is holding on to the other end of that dangling thread. He will never let you go. Never.

God will fix you, but the process is lifelong. It will take time for you to see and feel differently, but healing can begin this very moment.

I am convinced that God’s goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives (#1 Textbook) and that His goodness will eventually amaze you beyond anything you can ever imagine.

Sometimes life just does not feel good. The wasteland winds swirl around your parched lips, blurring your vision and burning your face. The desert of despair bleeds your heart, baits your soul, and blasts your mind with doubtful suggestions that maybe this stuff about God’s goodness is just not true for you. Maybe you feel it is just not worth it to go on…unless there really is hope.

There is HOPE. It is not the stuff of wishful thinking or fantasy dreams. Hope is grounded in truth. That truth is revealed in God’s Word. It is real, relevant, and reliable. It is supremely sufficient for your suffering and circumstances. With the aid of spiritual binoculars of truth, you will see HOPE on the horizon and feel HOPE in your soul.

Hope: the confident expectation of experiencing all the future goodness God has promised you… somehow…someway…sometime.  

         

In the most painful moment—God is with you. In the bigger picture—God is for you.

Everything God does is wise, right, and good even when you cannot see it that way and do not feel it could ever be that way.

God does not have problems, only plans. God would never have allowed the suffering if He did not have a wise plan to work it out for your greater good.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (#1 Textbook…Romans 15:13). 

Unwelcome news can suck the hope right out of you. Loss, sickness, suffering, broken relationships, stress, uncertainty, medical reports. They can overwhelm your mind and heart with anxiety. Fear can run unabated as your life grinds to a halt. The heart sinks and an ongoing battle against despair ensues.

The mind goes numb, and the eyes become blurred by the fog of the fight. Our feeble senses get overwhelmed as everything starts to shut down. It all feels so negative. If you can even produce tears, you use them up.

Unexpected and unwelcomed circumstances immediately thrust you into a crash course in theology. It is no longer about theoretical discussions but real tests. Does the phrase “all things work together for good” really mean all things?

Give yourself a moment…and some slack. What you feel at this critical moment will not be how you feel as time passes. Faith steadies itself. Hope returns, even stronger, if not for this life, then for the next one.

Love grows like a well-watered garden. Despair cannot prevail against God. It cannot take away from you the things that matter most, love for God and love for your family. Nothing else matters.

Hope in God is absolutely essential to living. We need it as much as we need air to breathe. Without it, the soul suffocates. People who lose hope struggle to live; they lose energy to confront life’s challenges. They have great difficulty getting out of bed in the morning and even greater problems putting the anxious mind to rest at bedtime.

Hopelessness makes the heart grow empty, the mind darkens with despair, and the steps falter along the journey. Whatever problem is causing you to feel anxious, you can be certain your anxiety will not lessen the problem. It will only make you more miserable. 

All of us need hope or else we cave in, fall apart, and give up.

God did not design our lives to crash and burn. There is hope available on the horizon. In Romans 8, Paul wrote, “We know.” He was not talking about awareness of some facts; he used the word for coming to a resolved, fixed conclusion. Through years of suffering and affliction, he became convinced of God’s great faithfulness.

We know…that God…therefore, we hope (#1 textbook). Those divine promises become the soul’s safety, security, and satisfaction. Hope in God fills the heart, enlightens the mind, and enlarges our steps. It will shape us, motivate us, and comfort us. Hope in God will breed encouragement that is not only life-sustaining, but also life-invigorating.

How does hope coexist with the heartache that has come into your life? Sorrow, suffering, and sickness are never meaningless. God has strategically placed you in this world of suffering in order to display the living hope inside you. I know, right now, you question the very existence of that hope.

There are many things in life that cannot be called good. For example, cancer or criticism is not good. It is amazing that when suffering comes, it surprises us. The Lord has told us repeatedly, we will all suffer; do not be surprised when it happens. No matter how many spiritual lessons we hear about suffering, we are still surprised, if not shocked, when some unwanted circumstance (like cancer or criticism) happens to us.

The knock on the door of your heart might be coronary disease, car accident, calamity, crisis, sibling squabbling, or your child’s problems. Discouragement, debt, divorce, drug usage, difficulties, or depression are regular visitors to most families.

There are no garage sales to get rid of bad circumstances, no garbage dumps to unload the pain, no discount shopping centers to purchase a healthier body. It cannot be wished away. No one can trade you places, not even a loved one who would. Whenever suffering comes, it disrupts life much like throwing a big rock into a smooth, peaceful lake. The shocking disturbance creates big waves with a continuous ripple effect. It messes up your normal routine in life.

When things in life are as bad as they can be, when the pain is as unbearable as it can get, when you feel as far away as possible, look to God’s promises in the #1 Textbook (like the one in Romans 8:28). God’s promises serve as highway billboards pointing to hope on the horizon.

Place your hope in God’s goodness, not doctors’ reports or medical research or the stock market gurus. This is the time to set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ (#1 Textbook…1 Peter 1:13). Literally “hope fully.” This is an imperative command to feel confident in the final outcome.

Wherever you are on this section of your life journey, God is with you.

Are you in the classroom of despair? Make this lesson count! See your life from an eternal perspective! Live it for an eternal purpose!

Every day is a gift from God whether it is the first day of a long life or the last day of a shortened life. Each new day becomes more precious…and purposeful.

God created you to be a vessel of His love to others. Love them first and most in the same manner He loves you.

Despair tries to throw cold water on your love, but God just pulls you closer to His heart to feel the warmth and passion of His love. Nothing can separate you from God’s love. Not worsened circumstances, not cancer, not the loss of a loved one. Nothing. That assurance is such an important anchor of truth for hope,

There is always an ultimate divine purpose to suffering. Life’s greatest spiritual lessons are learned in the arena of adversity.

Without the boiling process, a teabag is useless. Sometimes God places your life into the hot water of affliction to prepare you for greater usefulness.

Do not be surprised when circumstances heat up; you will have to struggle with thoughts of unfairness and regret, anger and anguish, fear and despair. That is the battleground on which hope wins its most precious victories! Do not give in; do not give up. Hope in God.

Your suffering is part of a larger drama. We are fragile people living in a flawed and futile world. The anger, doubts, and confusion are normal reactions, but not healthy ones. None of us know what the future holds, but our hope in God is bigger than the despair that can come from the present circumstances.

Jim Elliot, martyred missionary, once wrote, “I pray that my life will be a testimony to the value of knowing Christ.” Make that your purpose. God will take care of you. Your life is here to be an encouragement to others that God is great in faithfulness.

Do not waste any of your days. See each day with a heart of wisdom (#1 Textbook). Spend your time loving God and others. That is a day, a life, well-spent!

Again, despair is not something you can just snap out of because some goofball “friend” tells you to hope. I truly understand that. This is a process.

Much like a post-doctor’s visit, it takes some time to process what was said with what went through your mind like a blur. It might benefit you to give some time to think through the Great Physician’s words concerning your purpose and perspective in life. I am just a nurse reminding you that you can call the doctor if you have further questions.

For now, here is your prescription and treatment plan…and do not forget to read the Doctor’s personal note to you at the end.

Every day, take a Biblical dose of Perspective and Purpose. Where there is despair, HOPE.

The Great Physician who is there with you 24/7 every day of every year has written you a personal note to pull out and read during those times of suffering that threaten to hide His presence with feelings of despair.

When you feel like the Lord has forsaken or forgotten you, look! I have engraved you on the palms of my hand (#1 Textbook…Isaiah 49:16).

God has engraved YOU on the palms of His hands. Not your name or next appointment. YOU. God will never forget to be there with you and for you. That is the source of your hope, for today and for tomorrow.

Ye fearful saints fresh courage take, The clouds you so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break, with blessings on your head. –Wm. Cowper                                                                         

When in despair, love first and love most. That is what Hope does.

Maybe Charlie Brown can help you hope with a little smile.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 44

It was memorable! It was stupid! It was memorably stupid!

It was the night I was temporarily blinded by one of the most inspirational illustrations ever performed before a live audience. If you were there, you had never seen anything like it. If you were me doing the illustration, you could not see anything.

KIDS! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!                                                                                

DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE OR AT ANYTIME!

The scene was a college football team retreat. I was the inspirational speaker. That in itself is somewhat comical. The intent was to spiritually challenge the players as they prepared for the new season ahead.

I wanted the lesson to have a great impact on their lives. I chose the Biblical account of the woman who gave her expensive perfume to Jesus. As she lovingly poured out her perfume on Jesus, others criticized her action as “a waste.”

The highlight of the story is that Jesus commended what she did by calling her actions, “Extraordinary.” For me, the personal impact came from Jesus’ description of extraordinary. “She did what she could.”

Consider that for a moment…and for a lifetime. Jesus defined “extraordinary” as doing what you can do. It was not some monumental feat. It was not some unbelievable action.

A WOMAN JUST DID WHAT SHE COULD DO WHEN SHE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT.

IN THIS CASE, SHE LOVED FIRST AND LOVED MOST.

EXTRAORDINARY!

The woman’s gift of love was an expensive jar of perfume that she broke and poured over Jesus’ head. The fragrant aroma quickly filled the room and got everyone’s attention and Jesus’ commendation.

I had an idea how to illustrate the story. I asked several of the more stylish players to identify the best and most popular cologne. I purchased a bottle. It was very expensive. That was just what I needed, an entire bottle of expensive, fragrant cologne.

When I began my presentation, I handed the cologne bottle to one of the players near the front. I asked him to empty all the contents into a small container. While he was performing my request, I explained to the team that others thought the woman’s action was a waste of something valuable. They criticized her purpose and method.

Then came the moment. I pointed out the notable brand name and the high cost of the cologne. What if I used it all up in one brief moment? I asked what they would think about that kind of action. Would that be an act of stupidity? Could it be an act of love? Would it be a waste? Or a lifelong lesson?

I reaffirmed my love for the players. This is what it looks like to do what you can do to show someone you love them first and most.

I leaned back and poured all the cologne on top of my head. The fragrance quickly filled the large room. As I leaned my head forward, the cologne began streaming down my face. I underestimated the flow. There was little hair to soak up or hinder the downward rush.

Suddenly, the expensive cologne was in both eyes. It stung. It felt as if my eyes were on fire. The protective nature of the eyelids instinctively kicked in. I literally could not open my eyes. This is no exaggeration. It was as if my eyes were glued shut.

I began a wild search for the towel somewhere on the stage. I stumbled around with my arms outstretched. At first, the players thought this was part of the act. I grabbed the towel and dabbed my eyes. They would not open. The stinging intensified.

Then, it dawned on me. I might go blind. I told the players that I had just done “the most stupid thing ever. I may have blinded myself. Seriously, I think I permanently damaged my eyes.”

Several players came to offer their assistance. I asked them to let me finish the lesson first.

With my eyes glued shut from the expensive cologne in my blinded eyes, I talked about extraordinary. I called their attention to how one influential act could set off an aroma of love that could affect many others. I challenged them to do something extraordinary with their football season and with their lives. It was a great life-lesson.

The illustration of pouring cologne over one’s head became a great concern. The burning, blinding effect did not dissipate. Medical attention did not relieve the pain. Rinsing the eyes might have helped, but they could not be pried open.

I sat with a towel pushed against my eyes. I thought about the stupidity of my actions. I strained to open an eye. The eyelids would not budge. It was as if they were stuck shut with super-glue. The stinging intensity did not subside.

Did I burn my eyes into blindness? At some point and in some way, the eyes began to bring in light. The recovery was slow and painful. Eventually, I would heal except from the embarrassing stupidity.

The shirt used in that infamous illustration was worn several times in the next few years. One time it covered my sweating body as I mowed the lawn in the summertime heat. It was laundered at least four times. It hung in the closet for the rest of the time as a reminder to me of the illustration and its application.

The polo shirt retained the pleasant odor for over three years. When I spoke on the Biblical story in another church, I took the shirt with me to show the lasting effect. I asked several participants to smell the shirt and describe any odor. That in itself is a dangerous request. Each identified the shirt as having a pleasant perfume-like fragrance.

Extraordinary love has a lasting effect. It might even have an everlasting impact. Others might consider the actions a waste, but the heavenly observers rejoice at the unselfish fragrance.

Do what you can do to love first and love most. This exhortation is not directed to what others might be able to do. It does not ask you to consider what you are unable to do.

Where could you start? What could you do? Jesus lives inside you to lead you to others He intends to love through you. Why not start there with that person? What could you do to love them first and love them most?

Extraordinary is just one small step between what you refuse to do and what you choose to do. Extraordinary is not beyond your ability.

You can do something extraordinary today. Jesus will notice. He said the act of love will be talked about in heaven forever.

In truth, heaven will be extraordinary. We will be fully equipped to love in the manner Jesus has loved us. First and Most. We will do what we can do to love other heavenly inhabitants engaged in the same purpose. Extraordinary!

Extraordinary is just doing what you can do. Sadly, that is unusual on this earth. Why? Most people do not do all they can do in this life to love first and love most. They withhold love from God and others. They prefer to be lovers of self in love with money and pleasures (#1 Textbook).

Love should never be half-hearted. Never mediocre. Never part-time. Never a second-thought.

What about you?

This week is a wonderful opportunity to love God and love others first and most.

How? Just do what you can do. Give your selfishness away. Let your love revolve around someone else. No act is too great or too extravagant.

EXTRAORDINARY LOVE GIVES GENEROUSLY!

Extraordinary is never about how much we give. It involves giving something relative to what we could give if we did all we can do.

Love always gives its best. Loving first and most is never a waste. Love never goes unnoticed by God.

Loving first and most is extraordinary! With God’s help, you can love first, and you can love most. Just do what you can do.

FYI: I HAVE THE BEST SMELLING EYES IN THE WORLD.

REWIND WINSDAY WISDOM

Where is the leftover turkey? He is sitting on the couch!

That’s me! No Black Friday shopping. No weekend chores. No nothing! Just a big stuffed leftover turkey sitting on the couch sleeping through a TV football game.

Most of us have some Thanksgiving traditions. Some traditions have to be altered through the years. I now realize what my mom wrote about years ago as she shared her Thanksgiving prayer with her family.

“Lord, we know You prepare different tables with different circumstances each day and each year. But at every table, let my cup overflow.”

The rest of this session was written five years ago by my precious daughter, Kala. It closes with my mom’s Thanksgiving prayer. Listen to her words as you reflect on your Thanksgiving blessings.

Eighteen years ago, my mom got a phone call I will never forget: my Granny Bea had passed away during what was supposed to be a routine heart procedure. I will never forget hearing my mom’s side of that conversation.

My heart shattered into a zillion pieces as one of my favorite persons left this earth. My heart has broken every February 25th since. I constantly wonder what she would think about my professor husband or my four kiddos.

I know she’d have lots to say about our current political state, and I’m sad that I didn’t care enough to join in one of those conversations when I was younger. I know she’d be excited about all of her grandchildren’s pursuits and be thrilled for every single one of us, even if we are scattered across the miles.

Gosh, I miss her. And oh, how I wish for more time, more memories, more Thanksgivings and Christmases in Spiro.

The thing is, though, I have been immensely blessed by all of my grandparents. Papa remarried Helen, who became a light in the Blankenship family. And then you have my precious Grandmother Clara Logan, GiGi to my kiddos.

Grandma is the epitome of perseverance during the most difficult times. She became a widow in her twenties, when she had five kids under the age of 6. When I begin to think my life is hard, I’m reminded of GiGi. She has shown me what it means to be faithful and to love big even when it is most hard.

I am so grateful for all of the memories I have with all three of my grandmothers, and I’m particularly thankful that I still have the opportunity to get hugs from Grandma Clara. I’m grateful my kiddos have been able to experience the joy of time with her, baking cookies and singing and having fun. I’m thankful for every single moment.

When I was in Spiro for Granny’s funeral, I stumbled across something she had written many Thanksgivings before. I read it every Thanksgiving now, but I find it applicable to everyday life:

Psalm 95:2
“Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving.”
Psalm 23: 5
“Thou preparest a table before me…my cup overflows.”

These are Granny B’s words:

When I think of my own upbringing – the Thanksgiving as a child when that was one of the three or four days a year that Dad took off from his job as a company man for Peabody Coal Company – I’m reminded of the excitement of the day as we drove toward Grandpa’s house in Hartford, Arkansas.

We always passed people gathered around scalding pots or craping hogs. As a child, I couldn’t understand why this day –a holiday – was hog-killing day. We killed hogs on other days. This was the day to go to Gramps.

I’m reminded of the love and care lavished on me in my youth, the kind of home I was born into, the community in which I was reared, my Church, Sunday School and singing, the gracious influences I encountered, the examples that were held up before me, the fences that were passed, set to keep me from “wandering away.”

I must indeed feel such gratitude for the memory of my parents, my teachers, my friends, those who wrote the books I’ve been privileged to read through the years, and my husband of 46 years this week. Yet I know that they themselves had it all from Christ. Nothing would have been there if Christ had not come to seek and to save that which was lost.

So, as I crawl out of bed on Thanksgiving morning, I’ll not feel sad that my Holiday tradition has been changed many times since those early years.

In later years, we all went home to Mom and Dad’s. Then, my husband Gerald and my brother Sherman started having football teams good enough to get into the play-offs and they’d often be playing on Thanksgiving – plans stayed in the air. Now, my son Bill is coaching and going through that routine.

So early Thanksgiving morning, I hope to peer out the kitchen window and see that pinkish-orange glow grow brighter and slowly fill the kitchen. A whole new light will be cast on that day.

I’ll repeat, “Thou prepares a table before me. My cup overflows.”

Surely this is God’s message in the gift of a brilliant sunrise that we must not sleep through. Many unexpected blessings are waiting to be discovered around our tables on this day.

Let us be thankful for those who helped us get where we are, for those who are with us now, and for those who are waiting for us where we are going.

LORD, WE KNOW YOU PREPARE DIFFERENT TABLES WITH DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES EACH DAY AND EACH YEAR. BUT AT EVERY TABLE, LET MY CUP OVERFLOW.

I pray the same thing tonight for my family and yours. May our cups overflow with thanksgiving.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 42

THE GAME! It’s time!

College football has its storied rivalries. Only one is known as “The Game.”

It is not the OU-Texas Red River Classic. It is not OU-OSU Bedlam. Not Bama vs. Auburn in the Iron Bowl or LSU at Death Valley. Not Michigan-Ohio State. Not USC-UCLA. It is not even Notre Dame vs. The Sisters of Stoney Brook.

The longest running big time rivalry is Harvard-Yale. One writer declared the game to be “a clash of civilizations that seemed no less than that of Athens and Sparta.”

In New England, it is simply called THE GAME. And I was on the sidelines for the greatest game in THE GAME history. The next year I would be the starting sophomore quarterback for Harvard playing before a crowd in excess of 70,000. But for this game, I manned the headsets and waved the towel.

Before the ESPN days, Harvard and Yale won 25 national football championships. This would be the last of their nationally important games. It was a sad and memorable year. Robert Kennedy and Martin Luther King, Jr., had been assassinated. The Viet Nam War involved many brave young men and their counter protesters.

The two teams were mirror images, both undefeated. The Yale Bulldogs were nationally ranked in the AP poll. They were an offensive juggernaut with three future NFL draftees including Calvin Hill, a future star running back for the Dallas Cowboys. He would also become the father of Duke and NBA player and TV announcer, Grant Hill.

To give you an idea of how good Calvin Hill was—the year after graduation he won the NFL’s rookie of the year award over O.J. Simpson (before the Juice cut loose and ran a wheel off.) Quarterback Brian Dowling had not lost a game since junior high. The perpetually helmeted “B.D.” was the inspiration for Garry Trudeau’s famous counterculture cartoon strip, Doonesbury, the first to win a Pulitzer Prize.

The Harvard defense was tops in the country. The team had only one future (movie) star, Tommy Lee Jones (roommate of future VP Al Gore). Tommy Lee Jones wore Harvard Crimson before having a small part in Love Story and later starring in Men in Black. Also attending THE GAME were Yale students, future President George W. Bush and future Oscar winner Meryl Streep.

Harvard stadium held 57,750, and tickets to the game were going for hundreds of dollars. (This was before the Internet and StubHub.) It became one of the weirdest and most memorable gridiron games ever. It was almost stranger than fiction.

The game quickly turned in Yale’s favor as they dominated the entire contest. The Yale quarterback threw to Hill for a second TD. That was followed by another scoring pass. The second quarter was not half over and Yale had scored 22 points. Harvard did manage to score before halftime, but the mighty Yale team marched into the locker rooms ahead 22-6. The Harvard defense blocked a punt in the third quarter to make the score closer.

Was there hope? No. At the beginning of the fourth quarter, Yale punched Harvard in the mouth as they marched down the field and stuffed the ball into the end zone. 29-13.

Looking across the stadium, I saw hundreds if not thousands of white handkerchiefs waving as the poor-sport Yale students taunted us. They were arrogant and foaming at the mouth for humiliation.

Their chants pierced the air. “We’re Number One! You’re Number Two!” I remember hearing the Yale band playing the “Mickey Mouse Club” theme song. The wild celebration continued as Yale went on another drive late in the game. Only 14 yards away from a fifth touchdown, the Yale fullback fumbled.

Harvard was down by 16 points with 42 seconds remaining in the game. Harvard’s backup quarterback, Frank Champi, took over. With a third and 18 on the Yale 38, he was sacked, but the ball dribbled out of his arms on the way down and a Harvard lineman picked up the pigskin and rumbled to the Yale 15. (It is strange how legends are made.) With another chance, Champi passed for a touchdown, but the two-point conversion failed.

So now Harvard would lose with less humiliation. But wait—a flag. Yale was called for phantom pass interference. The Harvard fullback rushed in for the extra points. 29-21.

Everyone in the stadium knew that an onside kick was coming, but that did not stop Harvard from recovering it. No one was leaving the stadium. Some scrambled to get back in, and the white handkerchiefs had disappeared.

Harvard quickly marched down inside the 10-yard line. Actually, the QB ran for his life going backwards, but a face mask penalty put Harvard on the 20 and the next play via a completed tipped pass advanced the ball to the 8- yard line.

Three seconds were left on the clock. There was time for one final play which started badly. Flushed from the pocket by the heavy rush, QB Champi scrambled for his life. As he was hit, he threw a desperation pass off the wrong foot, which was caught by the running back for a touchdown.

There was no time left. Harvard fans stormed the field which was a little ironic since the score was 29-27 in Yale’s favor. (So much for being Ivy League smart in math!)

As the officials cleared the field, the Harvard student section was waving white things (handkerchiefs, towels, underwear) and chanting, “We’re Number One! You ain’t Nothing!” The repetitive slogan engulfed the stadium. “We’re Number One! You ain’t Nothing!” (Apparently, correct grammar was also deemed to be unnecessary in the Ivy League.)

The field was cleared by security. The two-point conversion attempt would take place with no time on the clock. This was before the college overtime rule. (Apparently, something better than “kissing your sister” had not been thought of as an Ivy League option. “The Game” would change everything regarding overtime rules.)

For this momentous gridiron contest, the only options were a tie or a loss. The Harvard quarterback hit the big receiver on a slant route. He held the ball in the air with both hands. Game over.

No one was mistaken about who won the “tie game.” The Yalies grabbed their Bulldog and exited to the locker room with bowed heads. The Yale student body cried into their handkerchiefs as they booed and cursed. The Harvard players jumped up and down in jubilation. The Crimson team and the entire student body raced onto the stadium turf and celebrated the win long into the night.

Harvard had scored 16 points in 42 seconds. I don’t remember a whole lot after that. We all stormed the field. It was all a happy blur. But I do remember it better than anything I learned in the classroom through all my college years. (The university president shook my hand at graduation. He offered a word of commendation. He did not mention my GPA. Apparently, there are times that the Ivy League has higher interests than higher education.)

It was the banner headline across the next day’s front page that best captured what we had witnessed: “Harvard Beats Yale 29-29.”

What can we learn from a long-forgotten football game that is meaningless in the big scheme of things?

NEVER QUIT. Keep trying no matter what the odds. NEVER GIVE UP. NEVER.

That goes for loving God and loving others even more so than in an athletic contest. Loving first and most is hard. Sometimes, it is a struggle against overwhelming odds.

But love wins! Always! There is no relationship that is hopeless. There is no enemy that is undeserving. There is no obstacle too wide or too long or too high or too low. There is no circumstance where it is not worth the effort.

Love First. Love Most. Never give up!

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 41

Thomas Jefferson and the Founding Fathers wrote in our country’s Declaration of Independence about our God-given rights “to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.”

That made me think about God’s promise of happiness to Adam and Eve and their pursuit of that happiness. The promise and pursuit are very similar to our situations. There is fullness of joy in God’s presence (#1 Textbook). More to come on that, but first…

I am a weird duck. My mind just went AWOL. I can only hope the insanity is temporary. A quick glance into my mind maze will show why it is so difficult for a good thought to find its way out into the real world.

While thinking about happiness, my brainwaves detoured to happy songs. This is very random and probably out of place, but I thought of a tune I have not heard in years.

My mind connected the pursuit of happiness to the old classic Coke commercial revived from the early seventies: I Would Like to Teach the World to Sing in Perfect Harmony.

I’d like to teach the world to sing,
In perfect harmony,
I’d like to hold it in my arms
And keep it company

I’d like to see the world for once
All standing hand in hand
And hear them echo through the hills
For peace throughout the land

I’d like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony

I’d like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love

Wow! What a strange blast from the past! I thought it was a bad commercial then, but it still creates images of happy times.

Then my thoughts went to my personal favorite feel-good music, Dancing in the Moonlight. My mind must be stuck in the music vault.

Everybody is dancin’ in the moonlight
Everybody’s feelin’ warm and right
It’s such a fine and natural sight
Everybody’s dancin’ in the moonlight

That song always makes me smile. Always.

The song might not get any reaction from you, but don’t you want to smile just a little to think that this Winsday writer guy who is no good at dancing has a favorite tune titled Dancing in the Moonlight?

Feel free to feel good by fast-forwarding this track or skipping down a few paragraphs in this post or, better yet, inserting your own favorite choices. I will not be insulted. For the younger crowd (I think that is all of you), go to your own generational genre. But you really need to Google some of these songs to know what happy sounds like.

I declare these next few minutes a free, no worry, no anxiety, pursuit of happiness feel-good zone. I realize my references are from an unknown time for most of you. Turn on the music in your head’s jukebox. Go to your mind’s iPhone playlist.

What comes to your mind? Put it up against Pharrell Williams singing Happy. The Black Eye Peas singing I Got a Feeling registers some happy vibes. Maybe Walking on Sunshine by Katrina or Ain’t No Mountain High Enough by Marvin Gaye sparks a smile.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston or September by Earth, Wind, and Fire might get your mind distracted by happier thoughts. Top of the World has the sweet voice of Karen Carpenter.

Somethin’ in the wind has learned my name
And it’s tellin’ me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There’s a pleasin’ sense of happiness for me

I’m on the top of the world lookin’ down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found ever since you’ve been around
Your love’s put me at the top of the world

You might be into Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah, or You Are My Sunshine. Maybe I’ve Got Rhythm, Check Yes or No can help you Follow the YellowBrick Road to some happy thoughts. Whether you swing with the 30’s, disco with the 70’s, line dance with the 90’s, or do some hip-hop krumping through this millennium, I recommend you divert your attention to some music that puts a smile on your face and revives a cherished memory in your heart.

While you recover, I will just shuffle on down to Your Love Keeps Lifting Me Higher and Higher. I especially like the version by Rita Coolidge with me doing the backup vocals.

Your Love, Liftin’ Me Higher
Than I’ve Ever Been Lifted Before
So Keep It Up, Quench My Desire
And I’ll Be At Your Side Forevermore
You Know Your Love (Your Love Keeps Liftin’ Me)
Keeps On Liftin’ (Your Love Keeps Liftin’ Me)
Higher (Liftin’ Me, Liftin’ Me), Higher, And Higher (Higher)

That is a feel-good song that takes your love to a higher level! And now you know that my secret obsession is to be a backup singer. My wife insisted I turn down Motown when they asked me to join the Four Tops. She did not think the world was ready for my rhythmic shockwave.

Take a moment to turn on the music in your mind. Indulge in an enjoyable recollection of past songs. The sound of a familiar melody might put you back on the trail in pursuit of happiness.

Speaking of nostalgic happiness, it started with Adam and Eve. The happy God created us to join Him where joy is eternal, pleasures are evermore, and the enjoyment of goodness will continuously increase through all the coming endless ages.

God started Adam and Eve right in the middle of God-centered happiness. They enjoyed:

1. Perfect People
2. Perfect Place
3. Perfect Pleasure
4. Perfect Provision
5. Perfect Promise

They were the only persons who have ever had a perfect spouse. No deficiencies. No irritations. No idiosyncrasies. No forgetfulness. No selfishness. No problems.

They were the only couple who ever lived in the “perfect” place. There home was in Paradise. Nothing to improve. Nothing to change. Nothing to repair. Nothing to compare.

They experienced perfect pleasure. Their happiness never diminished. Never disappointed. Never died. Never needed augmentation.

Their provision was perfect. Everything they needed, Whatever they needed. Whenever they needed.

They also had the perfect promise that none of this life experience of happiness will ever end. It will only increase. Exponentially. Forever.

They had the perfect promise of Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. Eternal Life. Everlasting Liberty. Endless Happiness. God would be their fullness of joy independent of their circumstances.

What happened?

They became unhappy in their pursuit of happiness. They led all of us down the wrong path.

How?

The only perfect people who ever lived in a perfect world imagined they were NOT HAPPY. They created another world in their minds where they were NOT HAPPY.

I have mentioned this before. I call it living in the Imaginary World of Not. Adam and Eve lived in a world where they were increasingly and endlessly happy. Yet, they imagined that they could be happier in the forbidden world of NOT. They used the God-given gift of imagination to create a world that did not exist.

They imagined a world where they were NOT HAPPY. They imagined a world where God was limiting their happiness by His presence and promise. They imagined a world in which they were responsible for their happiness.

They imagined someone else, something else, or somewhere else would make them happier.

They lost that lovin’ feelin’ and happiness was gone, gone, gone, woah.

The Imaginary World of Not. You have visited there.

I am NOT happy. I am NOT in total control. I am NOT appreciated as much as I should be. I do NOT feel loved. I am NOT being treated right. I am NOT getting what is fair.

We imagine there might be a better Life. Maybe there is More Liberty. What if the pursuit of happiness leads down a different path?

What if there is something or someone better than Perfect? What if we left God out and did not live by God’s “perfect” plan? Maybe we could have happiness without God.

Adam and Eve took their thoughts from their Imaginary World of Not and led all their descendants into a free-fall from perfection. We know nothing of a perfect spouse or perfect home or perfect work or perfect happiness or perfect peace or even a perfect hope of better than what we have.

We just fight for our rights to pursue happiness. To pursue happiness down a path where happiness does not exist. Down the path marked, I AM NOT HAPPY.

That is where we live. That is why we are so miserable at being happy.

Turn on the music. Take a sad song and make it better. Na-na-na-naa, hey, Jude!

What about us?

We do have a perfect person living with us. His name is Jesus. Anywhere with Him is a perfect place to be at the time. The pursuit of happiness with Him as our guide will lead us to our home in a perfect place where there is no sadness, no tears, no loss, no separation, no death. Just everlasting happiness and the pursuit of even greater happiness than the present overflowing satisfaction.

We also have perfect provision. God already gave us His son, Jesus. Surely, He will give us everything else that is good. Everything we need at just the perfect time we need it.

Then there is the perfect promise that everything in this life works out for our greatest good. In the next life, it will take God forever to show us how happy we can be. Countless ages of immeasurable happiness in ever-increasing quality and capacity of enjoyment.

Until then, you can be happier in your pursuit of happiness now. Do not listen to the thoughts running around your mind which originate in the imaginary world of not. Do not focus your thoughts on all the things that are not right or perfect in your world. Do NOT eat of that fruit.

Find your happiness in God.

“The deepest and most enduring happiness is found only in God. Not from God, but in God” (John Piper). Happiness in God reaches its consummation when we love God and others first and most.

Jesus will show you how to live with imperfect people with a sense of happiness. He lives inside of you to lead you to others he intends to love first and most through you.

Love God and love others first and most. That is the perfect path for the pursuit of happiness.

Oh, smile a little smile for me…even if your name is not Rosemarie.

I have declared this a day of no worry and no anxiety. No dark clouds to fret and no bad times to regret. Pursue some happiness. If you cannot make it a whole day, then take a few hours of freedom from stressful things. At least, use up a few minutes in happy thoughts.

Give yourself a break today. You do not have to go to McDonalds or share a Coke.

The perfect pursuit of happiness is a choice. A choice to trust God’s perfect plan and perfect process. A choice to ignore thinking about the imaginary world of NOT. Take a break from your woes and your foes who seek to steal your happiness.

Follow the advice of Dr. Leo Marvin, the exasperated psychiatrist in the movie, What About Bob? He told his phobic patient Bob Wiley, portrayed by Bill Murray, to “take a vacation from your problems…It starts with ‘baby steps.'”

Take a vacation day from the imaginary world of NOT. Stop thinking about all the people, places, things, and reasons you are NOT happy. They all live in your imaginary world of “I’m NOT happy because..

Pursue happiness today. Start where you are. If you are near God, then you are already in the happy zone. Read the sign which points to the pursuit of greater happiness: Love others. Love them first and most.

With God’s perfect help, you can be happy with whomever, wherever, whenever, and for however long. None of them have to be perfect for you to be happy.

That’s right. The people, places, and plans in your life do NOT have to be perfect for you to be happy.

Go for a smile. That is the goal for today. Keep smilin’.

Join me in the pursuit of happiness with an attitude of gratitude with which we remind ourselves every day to count our blessings.

I’m counting my blessings and I am in pursuit of the Real Thing.

I’d like to teach the world to sing,
In perfect harmony,

I’d like to build the world a home
And furnish it with love