LOVE FIRST…LOVE MOST

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 203

William Borden was a young man who believed that Jesus lived inside of him to lead him to others Jesus intended to love through him. He inspired his generation and subsequent ones to passionately love first and most.

As the heir of the Chicago based Borden Milk Company and the family fortune from silver mining in Colorado, he was already a millionaire when he graduated from high school. 

For his high school graduation present, his parents gave sixteen-year-old Borden a trip around the world. As he traveled, he felt a growing burden for the world’s hurting people. Finally, he wrote home to say, “I’m going to give my life to prepare for the mission field to help others know about Jesus Christ.”

More than one friend expressed surprise that Borden was “throwing himself away.” Shortly after he renounced his fortune in favor of missions, Bill wrote these words in the back of his Bible: “No reserves.”

Even though young Borden was wealthy, he arrived on the campus of Yale University in 1905 trying to look like just one more freshman. Very quickly, however, Borden’s classmates noticed something unusual about him and it wasn’t his money.

One wrote: “He came to college far ahead, spiritually, of any of us. He had already given his heart in full surrender to Christ. His classmates learned to lean on him and find in him a strength that was solid as a rock.” 

During his first semester at Yale, Borden started something that would transform campus life. He began meeting with two friends to study the Bible. That small group gave birth to a movement that spread across the campus and changed many lives.

Borden wrote in his college journal, “Say ‘no’ to self and say ‘yes’ to Jesus every time.”

Borden loved others first and most. During his time at college, he cared about widows and orphans and cripples. He rescued drunks from the streets of New Haven and founded the Yale Hope Mission to house and rehabilitate them.

No Reserve. 

While in college, Borden heard a missionary appeal for volunteers to reach the most unreachable people on the planet. It would necessitate a high price. “Of course, it will cost life. It is not an expedition of ease nor a picnic excursion to which we are called…”  William Borden was hooked.

In one of his notebooks, he later wrote: “In every man’s heart there is a throne and a cross… If Christ is on the throne self is on the cross… If Jesus is on the throne, you will go where He wants you to go…”

Borden’s missionary call narrowed to China as he prepared to live among Muslims in Northern China. Once that goal was in sight, Borden never wavered. He also inspired his classmates to consider missionary service. “He was one of the strongest characters I have ever known, and he put backbone into the rest of us at college.”

Upon graduation from Yale, Borden turned down high paying job offers. When his father told him that he would never work in the company again if he chose mission work, he wrote two more words in the back of his Bible: “No retreats.”

Before he left, his father died and people asked him to come back to run the company and he said, “God’s got me for a higher cause. No retreat.”

No Retreat. 

When he finished his post-graduate studies at Princeton, Borden sailed for China.  Because he was hoping to work with Muslims, he stopped first in Egypt to study Arabic. While there, he contracted spinal meningitis. Within a month, 25-year-old William Borden was dead. He never made it to the mission field. 

News of Borden’s death was cabled back to the USA. The story was carried by nearly every American newspaper. “A wave of sorrow went around the world.  Borden not only gave (away) his wealth, but himself, in a way so joyous and natural that it (seemed) a privilege rather than a sacrifice.”

Was Borden’s untimely death a waste? Not in God’s plan. Prior to his death, Borden had written two more words in his Bible. Underneath the words “No reserves” and “No retreats,” he had written: “No regrets.”  

No Regret. 

He forsook all and followed Jesus, Kindly affectionate with brotherly love,                                     Fervent in spirit serving the Lord, Giving to the needs of others,
In honor preferring others. Apart from faith in Christ,
There is no explanation for such a life.                       

— Epitaph of William Whiting Borden (1887-1913)

William Borden became a reflection of the life and love of Jesus. No Reserves. No Retreats. No Regrets.

What about my life and your life? What do we reflect? What is our passionate purpose for this God-given, God-graced earthly life?

Our purpose in life is about Direction, not Perfection.

Am I all in to follow Jesus with No Reserves?

Am I full speed ahead with Jesus living inside of me to lead me to others He intends to love through me with No Retreats?

Am I steadfast in Purpose to love God and love others with No Regrets?

Again, this life is about Direction, not Perfection. We will fight selfishness until this earthly race is finished. We will battle fear and worry with every step of faith. We will wish for do-overs for those moments we missed out or messed up in a relationship.

No Reserve, No Retreat, and No Regret relate to Purpose, not Perfection.

I have chosen to be all in, always looking forward and not backwards. I have no regrets about following Jesus. He has never, never, never, never, NEVER forsaken me. He is always Faithful and True.

As I look back on the road I’ve travelled,
I see so many times He carried me through;
And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned in my life,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

My heart rejoices when I read the promise
‘There is a place I am preparing for you.’
I know someday I’ll see my Lord face to face,
My Redeemer is faithful and true.

And in every situation, He has proved His love to me.
When I lack the understanding, He gives more grace to me.

My Redeemer is faithful and true.
Everything He has said He will do,
And every morning His mercies are new.
My Redeemer is faithful and true. –Stephen Curtis Chapman

Keep your eyes on Jesus and keep pressing on to the goal.

LOVE FIRST and LOVE MOST.

If you live your life for the value of knowing and showing the love of Jesus, your life will have no regrets. That is never a wasted life! You might not accomplish all the things that this world would have you do or have all the worldly pleasures, profits, and possessions but you will have no regrets.

I pray it may be said of you and me, “They loved first and loved most. Apart from Jesus, there is no explanation for such a life.”

WINSDAY WISDOM REWIND 1: THE AIRPORT

The strange sight was even more unforgettable than the frantic sounds. I was among the startled bystanders witnessing a most unusual event as the early morning solitude was interrupted by rumbling steps and piercing shouts.

I was staring out the large airport window at the sun peeking over the eastern horizon. The passengers in the adjoining gate area had just boarded the first flight out. The gate attendant delivered the final passenger count to the flight crew, hung up the phone, and closed the entry door.

The floor began to vibrate, and the corridor was filled with desperate screams; but it was not an earthquake.

Stomp and shout. Stomp and shout.

The thundering steps became louder and closer. The distraught cries went from indistinguishable to understandable.

“Wait! Wait! Stop the plane! Hold up!”

Suddenly, the loud stomps and louder shouts were united in one man racing toward the closed gate.

The desperate passenger appeared from the terminal concourse on a dead sprint toward the
agent’s counter. The mayhem was visual and audible.

The thirty- something, slightly overweight man was breathing heavily as he hurried toward his departing plane. He was dressed in a green blazer worn over a gray t-shirt. A striped tie was
 loosely wrapped around his neck, hanging down his back. His early morning ensemble included brown winged-tipped dress shoes. No socks. They dangled from the sport coat side pocket.  A toothbrush protruded from the front pocket.

The stunning blue gym shorts were the highlight of the fashion show. It placed a different spin on Casual Friday office attire. Straight from the bed to the plane kind of look. His uncombed hair seemed appropriate to the occasion. It does not take Sherlock Holmes to conclude this man overslept.

Dress shirt and slacks were rolled and tucked under his arm like a football. One hand carried a brown briefcase and flailing belt, the other an extendable poster tube used as a carry-on case for architectural drawings, artwork, or large documents.

Fortunately, the airline agent called the pilot and stopped the plane’s departure from the gate. She held up her hand in consolation and graciously explained to the man he would make his flight.

As she processed his ticket, the thankful passenger explained the reasons for his late arrival. However, it was his panting anxiety over the danger of missing the flight which occupied most of his animated conversation.

His gasps for air were interspersed with expressions of gratitude. “Thank you! Thank you! You saved my job! You saved my life!”

As he lifted the cylinder carton, he struggled for words to emphasize his predicament. “If I don’t get this to the ten o’clock meeting, I will be fired! This presentation is my one responsibility. It’s the most important thing in my career.”

The gate attendant encouraged him to calm down and catch his breath because the plane was waiting for him to board. Overjoyed with the outcome of avoiding his near disaster, he continued to relate his future employment and marital happiness to the importance of getting his project to the meeting.

As he entered the sky bridge to the plane, he turned and waved at the agent and all the gawking onlookers. He did the two-arms-raised victory dance to signal his triumphant departure. He looked like the iconic statue of Rocky in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art.

“Yo Adrian! I did it!”

I could almost hear The Eye of the Tiger soundtrack playing.

The door closed and the airline worker stood next to me as we watched the plane back away from the terminal and head for the runway. I sighed and spoke what many were thinking, “That was wild!”

The attendant smiled in reply, “It was close. I am so glad he made the flight, especially happy for his wife.”

As the plane lifted off on its journey, I returned to my view of the sunrise, just a little more grateful for the brief peace. Suddenly, there was a scream! The gate agent shouted, “Oh, No!
Oh, No!”

I turned to watch her hold up the elongated poster tube left behind.

Our entertaining passenger made his flight, but his most important thing did not. I wondered about when he would discover his error and the horror of his misery.

I could only imagine his cries of anguish as he thought about the shouts to come from a displeased boss and the endless screams of a distraught wife.

HE FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

There went up a muffled roar,                                                                                  

Like the beating of the storm-waves on a stern and distant shore…                     

Oh, somewhere in this favoured land the sun is shining bright,    

The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,

And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout,

But there is no joy in Mudville—

Mighty Casey has struck out.  

(“Casey at the Bat” by Ernest Lawrence Thayer)                    

Our beleaguered traveler made his flight but left behind the most important reason for his flight. I felt empathy for him, but his ill-fated adventure taught me a vital lesson regarding our precious lives.

How many of us live that way? I dare not condemn the guy.

Missed wake-up call? I missed a business meeting and several college classes because I overslept. Usually, it was unintentional. I have experienced not hearing the alarm as well as clock malfunctions, once from an electrical outage and another due to my miscalculation.

Fashion faux pas? I made more than a few. I have engaged in public speaking with my blazer wrongly buttoned, so I appeared to be shaped like the Hunchback from Notre Dame.

I have worn mismatched socks, a chocolate-stained dress shirt, brown belt with black suit, ripped pants, and the coup-de-gras…the open fly.

Forgotten items? I left behind some important things as I headed to meetings. My billfold, cell phone, speaking notes, even a co-worker.

Life can feel hectic. Time can seem short or stressful. Deadlines become problematic, and pressure packed. Difficult people test our best intentions.

No condemnation from me. However, I have learned from Airport Andy’s mistake. What is the most important thing in life?

Much dialogue, discussion, and debate regarding this critical issue involve so-called experts who cite education, health, and wealth. Popular writings also include happiness, career, security. Serious consideration must be given to Time. Could it be Faith? Family? Friends? Freedom? Fun?

Some people are entrenched in their opinions. Others change choices as often as the tide turns.

What do you think is the most important thing in life? 

One day, the wisest man who ever lived was asked that intriguing question regarding the most important thing in life. Jesus answered, “The most important thing is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength; and love others as yourself. Everything else in life hangs on that” (#1 Textbook).

Love God and love others. That is the most important thing in life, in faith, in family, in friendships. In fun or work. In freedom or bondage. In health or sickness. In career or retirement. In prosperity or adversity.

Are you in danger of missing the most important thing in all of life? It should become inseparable from your life’s purpose and practice and pleasure.

Love God and love others.  Everything else depends on that.  Any other thing is vanity.

In a foreboding sense of déjà vu, we try different experiences, but we remain stuck in a perpetual prison where nothing has changed. We awake each morning to run in circles, chasing the wind.

Nothing gained. Just the same-day emptiness.

We desperately rush to catch a plane to our intended destination but leave the most important thing behind on the counter. What we anticipated to be great joy and success ends up in major disappointment. Sounds depressing.

The proven disappointment is supposed to draw and drive us to the truth. Love God and love others.

How do we miss that? Why do we complicate that? Why do we try anything and everything else?

Life is a gift from the Creator God who designed love as the key to maximum and lasting happiness. That echoes the answer of Jesus to the question regarding the most important thing in life.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, all your strength and love others as yourself.”

What is love? Total commitment to the best interests of the other person, unconditional in attitude and unselfish in actions, whenever and wherever.

Love always looks like limitless self-sacrificial service.

Love with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength…all the time.

Jesus treats us that way and calls us to follow Him in loving others in the same manner.

Our life is a gift from God to be enjoyed. The greatest enjoyment comes when we discover the greatest thing to do with that life.

Do not oversleep or miss out on this. Do not rush through life unprepared. Do not engage in premature victory dances. Do not move from place to place, from relationship to relationship, without the most important thing in life.

Anchor your life to purposeful significance and lasting happiness on this maxim: Love God and love others, whoever, whenever, and wherever.

How do you love others?

Love First. Love Most.

Session 1

MONDAY MOANING Session 1

What I’ve got they used to call the blues
Nothin’ is really wrong
Feeling like I don’t belong
Walking around
Some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down

—Rainy Days and Mondays by The Carpenters

Welcome to Monday Moaning. Monday Moaning is my intent to share a brief thought along with a word of encouragement from the #1 Textbook as we begin a new week in our earthly timeline.

Some of you might be looking forward with excited anticipation to the week ahead. Others could be dreading it like the plague. For some, it marks a new beginning. For some, it signals a return to the same old routine.

Whether you are up with high hopes or dragging around in low despair, my goal for Monday Moaning is to spend a few minutes to regroup and refocus on the most important thing in the week ahead, as well as in all of life.

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength…and love others as yourself.

Love them the way the Lord loves you. Love first and Love Most.

Sounds good on Sunday. Looks rough on Monday.

There are times my Monday Moaning feels much like an episode I encountered at a restaurant on the first day of the week. I entertained my staff friends with getting some soft serve ice cream for me and enough to share with Feed the Children.

My post lunch dessert was to take advantage of the free ice cream. Take a cone. Pull down on the lever and fill up your cone with vanilla or chocolate soft serve. Push the lever back into place to stop the process.

It is so simple, even children do this unsupervised. I filled my cone with the swirling ice cream until I had the perfect size and shape. I pushed the serving lever back into place. The machine did not stop. Ice cream continued to flow out.

I stayed calm as I continued to rotate my cone with the steady flow of additional ice cream. It grew larger and top-heavy. I kept punching the lever to stop.

By this time, my friends noticed the dilemma. They chose to laugh and point instead of help.

By now, the soft serve was dripping over my hands. I asked for assistance. Instead, my dilemma worsened. The floor became an ice cream boat. We just needed some bananas.

Finally, an employee thought to unplug the serving machine. I stood there with a pathetic, overfilled cone while my hand and arm dripped with ice cream.

A little girl standing in line began to cry as she complained to her mom. “He used up all the ice cream.”

I made a mess, broke a kid’s heart, and became an ice cream joke to my associates.

Do you know how embarrassing it is to anticipate staff friends asking if you would like for them to make you an ice cream cone? Just skip restaurants with that goodwill feature.

Sometimes, my Monday Moaning looks like that ice cream incident. Too much to handle. Too messy a situation. Too depressing to anticipate. Too embarrassing to repeat. Too many things not working correctly.

Just not sure if I want to get back in the arena.

Fear and worry can land knockout punches early in the week. Despair and dark thoughts can tie you to the bed or cause you to mope into the week ahead.

Here is my go-to verse for Monday Moaning.

I would have despaired unless I certainly believed that I would still see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage. The Lord is on His way to help you. –Psalm 27:13-14

Hang in there, dear friend. It’s only Monday!

Look around you. This is a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue,

and clouds of white
The bright blessed days,

dark sacred nights
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world

Yes, I think to myself
What a wonderful world

–Louis Armstrong, Songwriters: George David Weiss

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 202

Cassius. That was the name of my dad’s prize bird dog. Cassius lives on forever in family lore, but not for the dog’s hunting prowess.

Dad loved to hunt. Because of his busy coaching schedule, hunting was more of a pastime than a passion. It offered an occasional break from the grind of athletic contests and immature athletes.

Dad admired his friends and relatives who excelled as outdoorsmen. They hunted deer, ducks, turkeys, and pheasants. For Dad, the occasional adventure was hunting quail.

One year, he decided to take it up a notch. A year-end bonus gave him the opportunity to purchase a champion bloodline bird dog. I don’t know if mom ever knew how much this dog cost. It was a small fortune for their budget.

This was his non-professional dream, a return to his childhood days with his best friends, brother Derwin and their dogs.

Dad brought the prize pup home and asked me to name him. I chose the name Cassius. That was the original name of the greatest heavyweight boxer of all time before he changed his name to Muhammed Ali.

Subsequent dogs would follow with boxing monikers: Tyson, Sugar Ray, and Rocky. We also owned a George Foreman grill.

Cassius Clay. Swift and strong. Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. “I am the greatest. I said that before I knew I was.”

Dad had high hopes for the pup. The seller told him this pup would be a world-class hunter, the envy of all his hunting buddies. The training went well. Cassius was obedient and a quick learner. He was fast and fierce. He would go and stop on command. He showed off as an excellent retriever.

Unfortunately, Cassius had an Achilles Heel. It was not a bad leg. It was a fearful fright of the sound of a shotgun. With one loud shot, the champion-bred bird dog sped into the background. AWOL.

Yep. Cassius was a pacifist. A conscientious objector. Maybe he wanted to change his name. Dad would find his scaredy-cat prize champion bloodline bird dog waiting back at the truck.

This fear of loud noises was never remedied. Things got to the point where Cassius would hide whenever he saw his owner loading the car for the hunt. Eventually, Cassius stayed home with me while Dad went quail hunting.

Dad’s Best Buy Bird Dog was a Bust.

My friends, Bo and Cliff, had their own hunting dog story. They were more involved in hunting than my dad. Their eyes were on a much bigger prize. They had an opportunity to purchase a top-of -the-line raccoon hunting dog.

A Treeing Walker Coonhound. Don’t let the name fool you. The sweet-faced Walkers are runners. The full stride of their long, muscular legs is propelled by powerful hindquarters, and their streamlined frame helps them cover maximum ground with minimum effort.

“Treeing” describes the dog’s ability to chase its quarry up a tree and then stand below barking loudly and vigorously. They are high-energy. High speed. High endurance.

This dog was sired by a top-of-the-line champion. Grand Knight bloodlines. Expensive. Very expensive.

The brothers were young family men who worked hard to make a living. A world champion Treeing Walker Coonhound would seem like an unnecessary luxury to the wives. The cost was so high it would necessitate a loan.

That left them with only one possibility. Their best friend, Randy, was the new vice-president of a local bank. Nothing wrong was done, but Randy was probably the only person in the world who would grant this loan for this purpose to these two guys.

The prize dog had to be the collateral for a three-year note. Bo would make the loan payment one month and Cliff took care of the next. All was well in the raccoon hunting business venture. Raccoon hunting was profitable as well as fun. The meat was good for food, distributed among friends, and the raccoon hides were highly marketable.

Mother MayBelle was everything she was hyped to be. She sped through the woods in the dark of night. She embarked on the chase with high energy. She treed and spotted the frightened raccoons for her master. She retrieved them in championship style.

One night near the end of the first year, Mother MayBelle’s midnight run ended with a heart attack. Bo had to break the news to Cliff in a 2 AM phone call. They had a dead dog and were in deep debt.

The next day, the brothers appeared in front of the desk of the bank loan officer. They had a question. “What happens if someone cannot pay off their loan?”

Randy answered, “The bank takes back the collateral.”

Bo replied, “Well, I was hoping that was the case. Mother MayBelle is in the back of the truck.”

(Note: I am obligated to report that the loan was fully repaid. The friendships remained steadfast. Mother MayBelle’s memory became a lore of laughter.)

Cassius was not in the back of the truck, just on his last legs. He became so old and so weak that he could barely stand. He spent his days in the backyard dog pen. He could barely crawl away from his own poop. My family allowance job was to feed Cassius and clean out his pen. I shoveled and gagged while Cassius dragged his body to a new area.

Dad expected to find Cassius dead every morning. Crawling over to eat his food was about the only exercise the old bird dog would get.

One morning. Cassius was gone. Not dead. Not in the dog pen. Gone. Vanished. He was not worth stealing. That would have been a blessing in disguise.

A search of the neighborhood revealed no clues. Cassius had disappeared. The next morning, Cassius was lying beside our back door. The rejuvenated bird dog jumped up and walked to his pen for some breakfast. What happened?

Well, whatever happened, would reoccur several times each year for the next three years. The weak-legged, shotgun-fearing champion bird dog looked as if he could not survive another night. We expected Bird Dog Heaven at any moment.

But then, Cassius would mysteriously disappear and then unexpectedly reappear like a frolicking pup. No lie. No exaggeration.

Dad was determined to find out how Cassius escaped the dog pen. There was no evidence of a hole in the fence. No indication of Cassius digging a hole under the fence. Cassius could not jump the six-foot fence because he was so feeble he could not hop over his water bowl.

One morning, Dad looked out the window to watch Cassius climbing the fence. Yes. Climbing. One weak paw into a square piece of wire followed by another until he ascended to the top of the fence. As he wobbled at the top, he eventually fell out into the yard on his face.

Dad put Cassius back into the dog pen. The old pet could barely stand. As soon as we were out of sight, he began another climb. This time, our entire family stood in amazement at Cassius’ weak but determined adventure.

As Cassius recovered his senses following his fall from the top of the fence, he hobbled out the backyard, down the alley, and headed for the next block. Dad got into his car to follow and retrieve the wayward canine.

The pursuit ended with a revelation of the motivation that moved Cassius from the wings of the undertaker to the fancy prancing return of a conquering hero.

Cassius found Bird Dog Heaven here on earth! He had a girlfriend just three blocks away!

I will just leave it at that.

Cassius may not have been a champion bird dog, but his legend lives on in our family lore. Cassius has left the building!

What does Bird Dog Heaven have to do with our mission to love first and love most?

We can make excuses for how bad we feel or how hard it is. We can complain about circumstances and criticize others. We can crawl in a hole and wait for everything to be over.

Or…we can find some motivation that is greater than our weaknesses and problems!

For most of us, we do not lose the desire to love. We do not quit. We just become complacent.

Complacency—a situation of unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. We feel content with our spiritual condition while unaware of our deficiencies and dangers.

Our spiritual danger is not being overactive or getting older. We are all in danger of becoming casual about love for God and others. We intend to follow Jesus. We plan to implement the directions in the #1 Textbook regarding loving first and most.

Instead, our spiritual complacency results in us drifting back into selfishness and worldliness. We go through the spiritual motions of loving others, somewhat satisfied if we do not love worse than others on this journey.

Complacency loses sight of the goal. It no longer responds to motivation.

Love needs motivation to pursue its goal.

Motivation—your reason for behaving a certain way; your influence, incentive, or stimulus for action. It is the driving force for a desired goal.

Whatever your situation, you are not too old or too weak or too poor to love others. You just need some motivation.

Keep your eyes on Jesus, our leader and teacher. He loved us enough to die a shameful death because of all the joy to come later (#1 Textbook).

Jesus’ amazing love for us is our motivation to love others. This is no time to be casual or complacent about loving God and loving others.

We are all nearer to Heaven than we would like to admit. There is a Heavenly Love awaiting us.

How about some Heavenly Love now?

Jesus lives inside you to lead you to others He intends to love through you.

Now is the time to Love First and Love Most. Little acts of love can rejuvenate your heart.

Follow our leader. There is someone to love first and most today.

Climb the fence. Get back in the game. Pick up the pace.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 2.1

You know exactly who that person is in your life. Maybe several names spring to mind

Why is this “love first and love most” thing so hard?

I resolved to start the new year with a renewed awareness to Love First and Love Most. It wasn’t really a Resolution, just a good intention. I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to Love first and most before I have ignored or blown the initial opportunity.

First week of the year, I go into Jersey Mike’s for some sub sandwiches. I have a regular order, but there is a different guy behind the counter. The place is not too busy; I am ahead of the lunch crowd.

I was greeted with a smile, “How’s it going?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Can’t complain. What you havin’?”

“I would like two mini sandwiches on white bread. I want a #3 (ham) with no cheese and a #8 (club).”

For those unfamiliar with this sub shop, they freshly slice the meats and cheese in front of you, place the cut slices on the bread, then return the large meat back into the refrigerated case before starting another order. The young butcher did his part and then slid the meat and bread down the counter for another attendant to dress it with condiments. The customer can choose to have the savory sandwich “Mike’s Way” or with whatever vegetables and condiments he/she prefers.

I looked at the two sandwiches as the “veggie” attendant asked me what I wanted on them. One was ham with cheese and the other was turkey with cheese.

I said, “Sir, excuse me. That is not what I wanted. I do not want any cheese on the ham.”

I intended to say, “Just take off the cheese.” Before I could finish my sentence or stop his reaction, the sandwich maker tossed the ham and cheese into the trash. He quickly made me another sandwich and slid the two meat-covered mini breads to the other attendant at the condiment section.

I stared at the two sandwiches. The new mini sub looked like turkey, not ham. Now I had turkey on both sandwiches. I remarked, “Excuse me, sir. That’s not correct.”

The butcher never looked up as he countered with, “That’s a #3 and #8, just like you ordered.”

I replied, “That looks like two turkey sandwiches. One with cheese and one without cheese, but I am kinda sure they both look like turkey.”

Yep, I was definitely staring at two turkey sandwiches and possibly one turkey server. He stared at the sandwiches and then glared at me. “So, you don’t want two turkey sandwiches?”

My server tossed one mini turkey into the trash as I interrupted, “It’s ok if you just add ham to the one with turkey and cheese.”

He was visually agitated but quickly fixed another ham with cheese and shoved it down the line. We were now back to the way he started my order. One ham with cheese and one turkey with cheese.

“There you go.” Now he started with the next person’s large order. The next few minutes would produce a growing line of customers in a hurry to grab some lunch.

“Sir, I just want a #3 with no cheese and a #8. Please.”

His response, “Don’t confuse me with the numbers. Just make up your mind and tell me what you want.”

For the record, at Jersey Mike’s, the #3 is a ham sandwich and the #8 is a club sandwich with ham, turkey, and cheese. The original Jersey Mike’s opened in New Jersey in 1956. It began franchises in 1987. I am fairly certain that the #3 and #8 on the menu have not changed over the last thirty-five years.

“I would like a ham with no cheese and another sandwich with ham, turkey, and cheese.”

“Ham and no cheese?”

“Right.”

He set me up with a ham with cheese and a pastrami with no cheese. No kidding. The meat-cutter was busy piling up four sandwiches for the next order.

What do I do? Do I just walk out? Do I make a scene? Do I just pay for the sandwiches and chalk it up to a wrong order?

I kept shifting my weight back and forth from left foot to right foot. My mind was in whisper mode. Love First. Love Most. It’s a two-step dance. Lean with your weight shifted to the left foot and say to yourself, “Love First.” Lean right and say, “Love Most.” Repeat as necessary.

Now, I have to admit that I also thought of another place to put my foot.

While I danced and deliberated, the guy looked up at me with frustration and asked, “What’s wrong now?”

“That one sandwich looks like pastrami.”

“Yep, that’s what you ordered. You said you wanted a Number Three.”

I thought I was right on this one, but his insistence rattled my confidence. I looked up at the big menu board. Number Three still read “Ham.” Maybe I could fix the misunderstanding.

“Keep the ham and cheese. Could you just add some turkey to it? That will work. And then, fix another ham but with no cheese. That would be perfect.”

He angrily threw both sandwiches into the trash. We wasted enough food to feed a good part of China.

He asked the next two customers what they wanted to order. Thankfully, they did not order a Number Three. Then he stared at me. “What do you want?”

“I would like a ham without cheese. Just ham. Nothing else. Then I want another sandwich with turkey, ham, and cheese. It really does not matter if it has cheese or not.”

He countered with, “That is what I fixed you. One ham and one turkey. That’s what you said.”

I faked a laugh. “I see where you could have thought that I ordered a ham sandwich and a turkey sandwich. I should have been clearer with my order.”

Please note that I was saying something extremely different than what I was thinking.

“I would like the turkey and ham on the same sandwich. Then another sandwich with ham only. No cheese. Thank-you.”

The line of customers was getting angry. Some grumbled. One couple walked out in disgust. The sandwich maker was angry. As he threw more food into the trash, a co-worker walked by and said to him, “Are you alright?”

His loud reply, “No, this guy cannot make up his mind what sandwich he wants. He keeps changing his order.”

Now the counter crowd is muttering and whispering. One older man yells out, “Let’s get this line moving. People are in a hurry.”

Another waiting customer entertained us with his take on the situation. “I could have gone home and showered and still been back in time to get my sandwich.”

Ha. Ha. Really?

A young couple was the newest addition to the end of the waiting line. A lady turned and offered her loud condolences. “They are usually very fast here, but this one guy is holding up everyone. He keeps changing his order.”

Are you serious? Thank you, Karen. Thank you for your delicate discretion so as not to be overheard by anyone out on the street. Would you like to paint a bullseye on my back and pass out darts to everyone?

The wild mob was growing in numbers and impatience. I am staring at two more wrong sandwiches. You have to be kidding me! Is this Candid Camera or an episode from What Would You Do?

WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Exactly. Me too. That person is too hard to love first and most.

The little voice inside of me wanted to scream at everyone in the store. “I just want a ham sandwich without cheese and a club sandwich. Please hold the criticism. Please hold the sarcasm. Please hold the disgust.”

There were several more things I thought about saying. I even considered dropping the “F-bomb.”  My version of the “F- bomb” is “Forget it.” My uncle’s version was, “Kiss foot.”

The cat did not get my tongue, but, thankfully, the Lord stopped the words in my mind from making their way to my mouth.

I will spare you and the other customers the rest of the details. The fiasco got worse. The guy was having a bad day. Something was a little fried and it was not my ham sandwich.

The guy made me eight different versions of my order. That’s right. Eight. Seven were completely wrong and the eighth was partly correct.

I walked away muttering, “Thank you.” Some in the crowded line broke out into applause.

I am not trying to make you think I am some kind of saint. I thought of many things to say to embarrass the guy or cause him to get fired. I thought of several things I could do to make a scene and show how unhappy I was with the service. I even resisted the urge to storm out.

Most of you are probably thinking exactly what the impatient, hungry customers in the lengthy line were thinking. Just go, Mister. Either take the sandwich or leave. We don’t care.

I paid the cashier. Then I took the sandwiches and left. With no condiments. No Mike’s Way. Just some mini bread, meat, and one piece of cheese. I was too afraid to ask for a bag of chips. The trash bin was already overflowing.

How do you love first and most in a situation like that? How do you love a guy having a bad day? How do you love him when he is making your day worse? How do you love the upset bystanders first and most? What about the angry wise cracker? How do you love him first and most?

I hope you have the answer. It was a dilemma for me. A real pickle. Or as my trusted colleague, Jeff Segner, so often stated about my situation, “It’s a real conundrum.”

Conundrum: a confusing or difficult question. It is a puzzling problem, a paradox of conflicting resolutions which might even be impossible to solve.

Jeff resides in the State of Conundrum. He has to pay taxes to support the court system overwhelmed with his unresolved cases.

What about you? What if you want to move to the Love First and Love Most State?

Well, it is not easy. Sometimes, it is even hard. Why?

Because people are difficult to love. And that is what others are saying about me! I can tell you where to find one sandwich maker who thinks I am the most difficult person he has ever encountered. And I was trying to be nice!

Do you remember my year-end challenge from the Rocky movie? I do. “If I can change, and you can change, then we all can change.” Play the dramatic music.

Love First and Love Most resonates like a good exhortation for any Tip Toe Through the Tulips kind of person. It sounds so noble, so kind, so spiritual.

If you are going to try that two-step dance with people, then you will have to be tough. Not mean. Not hard-hearted. Tough. Determined. Not easily provoked and not easily stopped.

You will be tested. You will be challenged. You will be questioned. All of that will take place standing in front of a mirror. It’s hard to love that person looking back at you.

Wait until other people are involved! It might be easier to fly to the moon. At least, then, most of the difficult people would be over two hundred thousand miles away.

As I contemplated the sub shop scenario, I wanted to write that there are times when we cannot love first and most. Times when people are too difficult. Times when circumstances are too tense. Personalities that are too hard to crack with a love first gesture.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

There are some people in certain circumstances that are just impossible to love first and most.

THAT IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

There are people we are not prepared to love first and most. There are people who make us too frustrated to keep on trying. There are people who cause us to give up because loving them first and most is hard. Very hard.

I would make a Baptist bet that you have written off someone who is difficult. They have crossed you or cursed you. They have disappointed you more than eight times. They are just hard to love.

My Winsday Wisdom for this week is “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.”

If I can somehow get out of Jersey Mike’s with eight different variations of my simple order without a blowup or blowout, then there is hope. Even if everything did not go perfectly on the inside, there was progress.

I was aware of the goal. I did not lose sight of the goal. I did not give up on the goal.

I just realized this is much more difficult than learning to do a two-step dance. It goes perfectly when dancing with the Lord. However, there are a lot of stumbles when you engage another person.

The #1 Textbook has it all there in its easy to understand instructions. Be imitators of God. Use a tracing tablet. Walk in love just as Christ loved us. Follow His example.

Wow! That’s the ticket. The Lord dances with me. Sometimes I start out on the wrong foot. Sometimes I dance on the wrong foot. Sometimes I put the wrong foot in my mouth. I mess up over and over. Much more than eight times.

How does the Lord keep love-dancing with me? He never gives up.

He never embarrasses me. In fact, He covers up my missteps. He never ridicules me. He is longsuffering beyond immeasurable. He never tells me to forget it. He patiently encourages me to try again.

I stumble and fall. I complain and criticize. The Lord’s steadfast love picks me up. Over and over again.

Loving me first and most is no easy endeavor. Somehow, it is a joyful undertaking for our Lord. His forgiveness and patience exceed my miscues. His love outlasts my bad days and bad attitudes.

Imitate Him. Get out the tracing tablet.

I do not have to forget it. I never have to give up.

The Lord lives in me to lead me to others He intends to love through me. Put the lesson on repeat.

Did the Lord lead me to Jersey Mike’s so I would encounter a guy having a bad day? So bad that he could not get a Number Three order right?

Maybe the Love First and Most test was not about that guy. Maybe it was about me. Maybe the Lord was reminding me that I don’t always fulfill His requests correctly.

Maybe the Lord intended to push me out of my comfort zone to teach me that I could love someone as difficult as myself. Maybe the sub sandwich fiasco was about teaching me that loving first and most can be hard; but it can still be joyful.

I did not get the right sandwich order this week, but I practiced the two-step in a hard place. It was not really that hard. It was kinda comical.

The right response to “Hard Love” is to “Love Hard.”

How do you “Love Hard“?

Love first and most BEFORE you mess up or miss the opportunity.

Pray for me and I will pray for you as we walk in love. Let’s imitate the rhythm of that glorious two-step, Love first and Love most.

Be prepared for “That Hard Person to Love,” especially if you run into me.

I might order a Number Three…without cheese.
 

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 48

The Jeopardy game show category was “Adverbs.” The clue was “Starship Enterprise’s (Star Trek) 5-year mission included a famous split infinitive between “to” and “go.”

What is “to boldly go?” That is the correct answer.

Split infinitives. I already lost most of you except for a few English majors. Please hang on past the brief introduction. I believe there is a valid word of encouragement for all of us. You can substitute thoughts about healthy diet or exercise or anger control or any New Year’s resolution instead of split infinitives.

I have split infinitives all my life. My mother, my English teachers, and my editorial advisors have corrected and instructed me not to split infinitives. It is a lifelong habit. That is just how I talk and how I write. I have never changed. I really have never cared about changing…Until now.

WHY WOULD I CHANGE NOW? AND WHY SHOULD YOU CARE IF I CHANGE NOW?

Split infinitives: a grammatical construction in which an adverb (modifier) is placed between the preposition “to” and the verb. It is commonly used in our speech but is frowned upon by traditional educators in our writing.

Example of infinitive: “to go” or “not to go.”

Example of split infinitive: “to NOT go” or “to really go.” (The adverb has been placed in the middle of the infinitive.)

Perhaps, the best-known example of a proper infinitive is Shakespeare’s “To be or not to be.”

Best example of cultural use of the split infinitive is the Star Trek introduction, “To boldly go where no man has gone before.”

To split or not to split. That is the question.

The issue matters to some people. It never really mattered much to me. Most of you would shut this session down if it is really about grammatical construction of sentences.

I hope to just keep you around or just to keep you around for a few moments regarding why I mentioned my split infinitive dilemma.

The split infinitive has great relevance to my Love First and Love Most challenge.

Most of us are aware that the #1 Textbook provides a trusted guideline for our use of love in words and actions. However, we pay little attention to its suggested corrections or encouraging instructions on how to love first and love most.

When it comes to others, we love or not love in the manner we choose. We prefer to split the adverbs and replace the word love with self. Self-first and self-most.

In fact, our cultural acceptance of using love for self-benefit has influenced us all into mediocrity. We discount wholehearted devotion as a minor correction which can go unheeded. No need to change now.

We no longer strive for the more excellent way (#1 Textbook).

When it comes to loving others, I am a split infinitive. Set in my ways. Not planning to change. I might read a blog or listen to a sermon about loving first and most. I might even acknowledge that my words and actions do not meet that standard. But that is understandable. Even acceptable in my world.

This world understands. That is the way everyone talks. That is the way everyone loves. Our culture splits wholehearted devotion into fragmented sentences. First and most are modifiers used in reference to ourselves. We have always lived that way. No reason to change now.

I asked the rhetorical question earlier, WHY WOULD I CHANGE NOW?

BECAUSE IT IS RIGHT! BECAUSE IT IS A BETTER WAY TO LIVE (#1 Textbook).

Listen to the experts:

Mary Poppins said, “When you change the view from where you stood, the things you view will change for good.“

Spiderman declared, “Our choices make us who we are. We always have the choice to do what is right.”

Author Leo Tolstoy wrote, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

Rocky Balboa shouted encouragement to all of us at the end of Rocky IV, “If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!”

Most importantly, the #1 Textbook declares we can change. It is always right to do what is right. That has been true since the beginning of time. It is still the true test of character today.

God says it is right to love first and love most. When it comes to loving God and loving others, there are no split infinitives.

There is an aged adage which states, “You cannot teach an old dog new tricks.” Who says? Dogs are smart and are instinctively good learners. It is the dog owner who sometimes lacks the patience to teach.

Our Teacher has not given up on raising our love to a higher level. We are not old dogs. Some of us might be old and stubborn and set in our ways. However, the reason we remain here on earth is to learn how to love others without split infinitives in our hearts.

I can learn to Love First and Love Most. You can learn.

Nobody learns to love better by trying harder. Love flows from our heart’s attachment to God. God is love. We cannot become loving without the source.

God’s love is a life-changing power. God’s love changes our character.

Character is about who we are. Love is the fruit of character.

Love is not a to-do-list. It is a heart change.

Here is the APPLICATION of that truth for me.

If I can change my writing of split infinitives, then I can change my words and actions to love first and most.

Here is hope for you and those lives you touch with words and actions. If I can change, you can change.

1. Let’s start caring about whether we live and love in a more excellent way.
2. Let’s listen better to our Teacher gently correct and instruct us. Maybe we can take notes from the #1 Textbook.
3. Let’s recognize when our words and actions convey less than wholehearted devotion.
4. Let’s make a choice to change. We can even race toward the finish line.
5. Let’s learn to trace God’s love into our love for others.

“TO BE OR NOT TO BE” A LOVE FIRST AND LOVE MOST PERSON.

                                          THAT IS THE QUESTION.

People can change. I can change.

Even if no one else changes, I can change.

WITH GOD’S HELP…I WILL CHANGE!

I invite you to join me in loving first and loving most. Our mission is to boldly go where we have not gone before!

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of
What the world needs now is love, sweet love
No, not just for some but for everyone.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 47

Oh, the Love of Christ!
Without beginning.
Without ending.
Without interruption.
Without limits.

Relentless. Uncontainable. Inexhaustible.

It created a beautiful universe.
It gives life.
God with us.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

Sleeps in a stable.
Hangs on a cross.
Perfumes an empty tomb.
Glorifies a heavenly throne.

It shines on every face of every race
living at every pace in every space.

Love so marvelous! Love so wonderful! Love for me. A sinner. A rebel. A flawed, fallen, failure.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

It fills the mind with wonder yet surpasses understanding.
Its width exceeds the immeasurable distance of the east from the west.
Its length stretches far beyond infinity.
Its height transcends incomprehensible.
Its depth plunges lower than unfathomable.

Awe. Amazement. Admiration. Appreciation.

Its forgiveness leaves no blemish and no trace.
Its gift floods the heart with love for God and others.
It always stretches for higher levels.
It incessantly overflows beyond all boundaries.

Engulfs families.
Extends friendships.
Embraces differences.
Encompasses enemies.

Heals hurts.
Breaks barriers.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

It’s the Hope of Peace for the Separated. The Scattered. The Stressed. The Storm-tossed.

It’s the Heart of Compassion for the Suffering.
The Sick.
The Sad.
The Sorrowful.

Unsurpassed Goodness.
The storm “clouds you so much dread,
Soon will break with blessings on your head.”

Oh, the Love of Christ!

The Last are Made First.
The Least are Most Favored.
The Lost are Mercifully Found.
From every kindred, tongue, tribe, and nation.

It welcomes us into the basic Two-Step of its Divine Dance.
LOVE FIRST. LOVE MOST.

Oh, the Love of Christ !!!

Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
Yes, Jesus loves me!
The Bible tells me so.

Oh, the Love of Christ!

Praying I will Learn more and Love better.
Debate less. Judge even less. Condemn never.

Love First! Love Most!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Thanks for blessing my life.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 46

Christmas time can create or invoke precious memories. I can still hear my dad repeatedly singing “White Christmas” to my new baby brother. I even remarked that I thought the little bundle who interrupted my monopoly on Christmas gifts might be getting tired of hearing that song.

This Christmas Memory was written in 1974 by my mom as therapy for a lonely heart. I share it with you to spark good Christmas memories for your heart in times of loneliness or family chaos.

CHRISTMAS MEMORIES   l974

Christmas commercialized?  Never!  Never!  Never!  Some may call it that; but God forbid that my husband, children, future grandchildren, and I lose the heritage so lovingly passed on by Mom and Dad.

My earliest memories of Christmas were in a large rambling two-story white house sitting on a small hillside about threequarters of a mile from Peabody Mining Camp called Superior Smokeless Coal and Mining Company, Mine #29.  The post office was named Tahona.

We grew up on this small farm at the edge of town with the idea that we were someone special.  No, we weren’t taught snobbery.  We were taught to use the God-given intelligence and physical stature to get ahead in life through education and hard work. 

Never were we taught that anyone owed us anything but an opportunity.  Neither were we ever told this would make us lots of money.  Money was seldom the central issue. 

There seemed to be enough for our necessities, some for our dreams, and a little for the frivolous things in our lives.  Dad worked seven days a week to provide this setting while Mom worked seven days a week guiding us to goal-setting that we hardly realized were being set.

Consequently, uppermost in the plans for the future were more and more education and work experiences.  Even the trials of World War II did not deter these plans.  Strange ideals coming from a coal mining family of self-educated parents.  Few such ideas floated around the environment where almost every other house made home brew and sold it to the next house. 

I guess our house was the buyer–just Dad.  Dad, tired and weary of a l2 to l5 hour shift at the Tipple, relaxed with a bottle or few before winding his way home to face the trials of six kids and an over-worked Mom.  Let it be known that Dad did the drinking for the whole family and before he got home. 

Mom kept many of these secrets hidden from us. If Dad were caught on Christmas Eve drinking from a peculiar-shaped bottle with a peculiar aroma, we were hastily informed it was Dad’s cough medicine.  That satisfied me.  I wanted Dad  healthy for the big Christmas celebration. 

As I have already said, Mom kept many secrets (just like the Christmas secrets) which made life good to us.  We grew up feeling that there was a special magic in the Floyd family blood. 

Grandparents were never a big part of our Christmas.  Grandma and Grandpa Floyd were not around for these celebrations because they had gone on before I can remember.  Grandpa and Grandma Morrison shared many holiday seasons with us.  Somehow, they were not the doting grandparents who heaped gifts upon us or held us in their laps and hugged us tightly.  There was more of a standoffish respect, especially on my part. 

Therefore, I feel the magic must have begun with the mingling of Mom’s and Dad’s blood.  I still feel there was a magic not fully understood, but deeply beloved about our home the year around– but building to a crescendo around Christmas time.    

Commercialized?  Yes, Dad bought three tricycles one Christmas because we had not learned that we were not an only child.  Then he had to buy two saddles for the older boys. (I know now these purchases were dearest to his hearts–later he bought all grandchildren cowboy boots–boys and girls. He liked this sort of thing.) 

I think perhaps even Big Sister got a bedroom suite for her room.  Peabody must have had a good year and gave a large bonus that year.

Now, I am more inclined to feel that this, too, was one of those guarded secrets of doing without for a year for one big splurge at Christmas for those you love. This practice continued through Mom’s lifetime. She could not manage money. She had to spend it on someone else. 

I’ve inherited the urge to spend more than I can afford at Christmas.  But I’m willing to work the rest of the year to pay for the joys of giving at Christmas.  This I inherited from Mom.  

Santa was very real to us Floyd Kids–much longer than those who lived in the camp and knew the ways of the world. My elder brothers and sisters were not the kind to belittle such beliefs. It was such a good thing to hold on to that even they were reluctant to let Mom and Dad know their doubts. 

This dedication fostered a special belief in my little brother and me.  

Finally, the day arrived that I could no longer resist asking Mom if there really was a Santa Claus. Now much has been said about the New York Times’ answer to Virginia, but I’m here to tell you that their answer to Virginia was no more legendary or effective as Mom’s answer to me. 

When she finished explaining the magic and spirit of Christmas because of the Christ Child’s putting so much love into this world, the magic Santa was greater than all real Santas who had hither fore peeped through the dining room window to see if all good little boys and girls were in bed. 

No sadness or depression filled my heart. The magic of love had filled the Santa image, and Christmas went on as usual with all the happiness, unselfishness, and love it was meant to have. 

This was the love that prompted Mom to share with the bell ringers on the streets or the paper boy who trudged through the snow to bring news from worldwide. Dad shared his tender love for under-privileged children less fortunate than his own. He would pay their way into movies so they wouldn’t have to miss life’s little goodies.

During the hustle and bustle before Christmas , one Sunday morning, Mom’s oft overworked and strained heart gave way.  All the loving family rushed to her bedside. 

Using her last ounce of strength and devotion, she spoke to each one individually to let each know that she knew we were once more gathered together. Then she slipped into eternity. 

The sorrow and lack of readiness for life without Mom flooded our souls. Although the circle had been broken, thoughts turned immediately to Dad. 

Christmas must go on as usual. It had always been special. Mom would not want it otherwise. No sorrow for the grandchildren.

Finally, as we found courage to enter the once-a-year (Christmas Season) used bedroom, we found gifts sorted and waiting to be wrapped. No, we had no written instructions. Mom was never that organized. 

But somehow, we knew which gift belonged to which child, in-law, or grandchild because of the special love for each of those individuals. There was always enough to go around no matter how large the family grew.

Never had Mom finished her shopping so early. Perhaps as she grew older, she felt she needed more time to get ready for the mob’s invasion. But to get us by our first Christmas without her in body, I like to think that Mom was prepared to provide her special type of Christmas spirit for us as we lovingly opened those gifts on that special Christmas Eve.     

My loved ones, times will change whether we want it to or not. Conditions necessitated our moving the Christmas Eve Party to my house after a year or two when the strain became too great for Dad. 

How we enjoyed the phone calls from those who were unable to attend these get-to-gathers! Now Dad, too, has gone on to meet Mom and have even greater celebrations, but Christmas Eve parties continued.

This Christmas will only memories and mailed gifts bind the remnants of this magical family? No, that is not true.

Santa may not be peeping through the dining room window at brats too excited to go to bed or parents too tired to carry sleepy-eyed toddlers up the stairway so Santa’s finishing touches could be placed under the tree.

But you may rest assured that magic of love will be prevalent in each of the six houses as the Floyd Clan gathers in each respective home for this Season’s celebration.

Love and the proud heritage of having the “blood” will live on through tales told to each generation of what Christmas really means. 

L-O-V-E–for God and man. 

With this thought in our hearts, no way can Christmas be commercialized.  A special mission we Floyd Kids and descendants have on earth is to keep this travesty from happening.

**Written l2/l7/74 as therapy for a lonely heart by Bea Floyd Blankenship.

Merry Christmas and may the Lord bless you with lots of love to share with others.

LOVE FIRST. LOVE MOST.

Create some memories!

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 45

Laugh. Think. Cry. That makes a good day. I try to add a little of all three emotions in our Winsday sessions. Today is reserved for the latter two. (Note: If you need some laughter today, check out session 24 “The Mystery of the Missing Nachos” or session 11 “Listening: I Forgot My Spouse.“)

I have many friends, close and distant, in a hard, sometimes hidden, battle. The stakes are high. The feelings are low. The struggle intense. The holiday season is sometimes the greatest challenge to guard against an implosion of darkness and despair.

Sometimes you feel as if you are holding on by a thread.

There are a multitude of causes. I offer no pat answers or easy recipes. I will not pretend to tell you that what happened to you is good. I do not intend to say you should just shake it off and act as though nothing hurtful has happened; neither do I suggest that I can forecast how your loss and suffering will turn out for good.

In all your hurt and heartache, I am pleading with you to look to the God of Comfort and Hope. He suffers and cries with you. You are His dearly loved child.

Most importantly, God is holding on to the other end of that dangling thread. He will never let you go. Never.

God will fix you, but the process is lifelong. It will take time for you to see and feel differently, but healing can begin this very moment.

I am convinced that God’s goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our lives (#1 Textbook) and that His goodness will eventually amaze you beyond anything you can ever imagine.

Sometimes life just does not feel good. The wasteland winds swirl around your parched lips, blurring your vision and burning your face. The desert of despair bleeds your heart, baits your soul, and blasts your mind with doubtful suggestions that maybe this stuff about God’s goodness is just not true for you. Maybe you feel it is just not worth it to go on…unless there really is hope.

There is HOPE. It is not the stuff of wishful thinking or fantasy dreams. Hope is grounded in truth. That truth is revealed in God’s Word. It is real, relevant, and reliable. It is supremely sufficient for your suffering and circumstances. With the aid of spiritual binoculars of truth, you will see HOPE on the horizon and feel HOPE in your soul.

Hope: the confident expectation of experiencing all the future goodness God has promised you… somehow…someway…sometime.  

         

In the most painful moment—God is with you. In the bigger picture—God is for you.

Everything God does is wise, right, and good even when you cannot see it that way and do not feel it could ever be that way.

God does not have problems, only plans. God would never have allowed the suffering if He did not have a wise plan to work it out for your greater good.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (#1 Textbook…Romans 15:13). 

Unwelcome news can suck the hope right out of you. Loss, sickness, suffering, broken relationships, stress, uncertainty, medical reports. They can overwhelm your mind and heart with anxiety. Fear can run unabated as your life grinds to a halt. The heart sinks and an ongoing battle against despair ensues.

The mind goes numb, and the eyes become blurred by the fog of the fight. Our feeble senses get overwhelmed as everything starts to shut down. It all feels so negative. If you can even produce tears, you use them up.

Unexpected and unwelcomed circumstances immediately thrust you into a crash course in theology. It is no longer about theoretical discussions but real tests. Does the phrase “all things work together for good” really mean all things?

Give yourself a moment…and some slack. What you feel at this critical moment will not be how you feel as time passes. Faith steadies itself. Hope returns, even stronger, if not for this life, then for the next one.

Love grows like a well-watered garden. Despair cannot prevail against God. It cannot take away from you the things that matter most, love for God and love for your family. Nothing else matters.

Hope in God is absolutely essential to living. We need it as much as we need air to breathe. Without it, the soul suffocates. People who lose hope struggle to live; they lose energy to confront life’s challenges. They have great difficulty getting out of bed in the morning and even greater problems putting the anxious mind to rest at bedtime.

Hopelessness makes the heart grow empty, the mind darkens with despair, and the steps falter along the journey. Whatever problem is causing you to feel anxious, you can be certain your anxiety will not lessen the problem. It will only make you more miserable. 

All of us need hope or else we cave in, fall apart, and give up.

God did not design our lives to crash and burn. There is hope available on the horizon. In Romans 8, Paul wrote, “We know.” He was not talking about awareness of some facts; he used the word for coming to a resolved, fixed conclusion. Through years of suffering and affliction, he became convinced of God’s great faithfulness.

We know…that God…therefore, we hope (#1 textbook). Those divine promises become the soul’s safety, security, and satisfaction. Hope in God fills the heart, enlightens the mind, and enlarges our steps. It will shape us, motivate us, and comfort us. Hope in God will breed encouragement that is not only life-sustaining, but also life-invigorating.

How does hope coexist with the heartache that has come into your life? Sorrow, suffering, and sickness are never meaningless. God has strategically placed you in this world of suffering in order to display the living hope inside you. I know, right now, you question the very existence of that hope.

There are many things in life that cannot be called good. For example, cancer or criticism is not good. It is amazing that when suffering comes, it surprises us. The Lord has told us repeatedly, we will all suffer; do not be surprised when it happens. No matter how many spiritual lessons we hear about suffering, we are still surprised, if not shocked, when some unwanted circumstance (like cancer or criticism) happens to us.

The knock on the door of your heart might be coronary disease, car accident, calamity, crisis, sibling squabbling, or your child’s problems. Discouragement, debt, divorce, drug usage, difficulties, or depression are regular visitors to most families.

There are no garage sales to get rid of bad circumstances, no garbage dumps to unload the pain, no discount shopping centers to purchase a healthier body. It cannot be wished away. No one can trade you places, not even a loved one who would. Whenever suffering comes, it disrupts life much like throwing a big rock into a smooth, peaceful lake. The shocking disturbance creates big waves with a continuous ripple effect. It messes up your normal routine in life.

When things in life are as bad as they can be, when the pain is as unbearable as it can get, when you feel as far away as possible, look to God’s promises in the #1 Textbook (like the one in Romans 8:28). God’s promises serve as highway billboards pointing to hope on the horizon.

Place your hope in God’s goodness, not doctors’ reports or medical research or the stock market gurus. This is the time to set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ (#1 Textbook…1 Peter 1:13). Literally “hope fully.” This is an imperative command to feel confident in the final outcome.

Wherever you are on this section of your life journey, God is with you.

Are you in the classroom of despair? Make this lesson count! See your life from an eternal perspective! Live it for an eternal purpose!

Every day is a gift from God whether it is the first day of a long life or the last day of a shortened life. Each new day becomes more precious…and purposeful.

God created you to be a vessel of His love to others. Love them first and most in the same manner He loves you.

Despair tries to throw cold water on your love, but God just pulls you closer to His heart to feel the warmth and passion of His love. Nothing can separate you from God’s love. Not worsened circumstances, not cancer, not the loss of a loved one. Nothing. That assurance is such an important anchor of truth for hope,

There is always an ultimate divine purpose to suffering. Life’s greatest spiritual lessons are learned in the arena of adversity.

Without the boiling process, a teabag is useless. Sometimes God places your life into the hot water of affliction to prepare you for greater usefulness.

Do not be surprised when circumstances heat up; you will have to struggle with thoughts of unfairness and regret, anger and anguish, fear and despair. That is the battleground on which hope wins its most precious victories! Do not give in; do not give up. Hope in God.

Your suffering is part of a larger drama. We are fragile people living in a flawed and futile world. The anger, doubts, and confusion are normal reactions, but not healthy ones. None of us know what the future holds, but our hope in God is bigger than the despair that can come from the present circumstances.

Jim Elliot, martyred missionary, once wrote, “I pray that my life will be a testimony to the value of knowing Christ.” Make that your purpose. God will take care of you. Your life is here to be an encouragement to others that God is great in faithfulness.

Do not waste any of your days. See each day with a heart of wisdom (#1 Textbook). Spend your time loving God and others. That is a day, a life, well-spent!

Again, despair is not something you can just snap out of because some goofball “friend” tells you to hope. I truly understand that. This is a process.

Much like a post-doctor’s visit, it takes some time to process what was said with what went through your mind like a blur. It might benefit you to give some time to think through the Great Physician’s words concerning your purpose and perspective in life. I am just a nurse reminding you that you can call the doctor if you have further questions.

For now, here is your prescription and treatment plan…and do not forget to read the Doctor’s personal note to you at the end.

Every day, take a Biblical dose of Perspective and Purpose. Where there is despair, HOPE.

The Great Physician who is there with you 24/7 every day of every year has written you a personal note to pull out and read during those times of suffering that threaten to hide His presence with feelings of despair.

When you feel like the Lord has forsaken or forgotten you, look! I have engraved you on the palms of my hand (#1 Textbook…Isaiah 49:16).

God has engraved YOU on the palms of His hands. Not your name or next appointment. YOU. God will never forget to be there with you and for you. That is the source of your hope, for today and for tomorrow.

Ye fearful saints fresh courage take, The clouds you so much dread

Are big with mercy and shall break, with blessings on your head. –Wm. Cowper                                                                         

When in despair, love first and love most. That is what Hope does.

Maybe Charlie Brown can help you hope with a little smile.

WINSDAY WISDOM Session 44

It was memorable! It was stupid! It was memorably stupid!

It was the night I was temporarily blinded by one of the most inspirational illustrations ever performed before a live audience. If you were there, you had never seen anything like it. If you were me doing the illustration, you could not see anything.

KIDS! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!                                                                                

DO NOT TRY THIS ANYWHERE OR AT ANYTIME!

The scene was a college football team retreat. I was the inspirational speaker. That in itself is somewhat comical. The intent was to spiritually challenge the players as they prepared for the new season ahead.

I wanted the lesson to have a great impact on their lives. I chose the Biblical account of the woman who gave her expensive perfume to Jesus. As she lovingly poured out her perfume on Jesus, others criticized her action as “a waste.”

The highlight of the story is that Jesus commended what she did by calling her actions, “Extraordinary.” For me, the personal impact came from Jesus’ description of extraordinary. “She did what she could.”

Consider that for a moment…and for a lifetime. Jesus defined “extraordinary” as doing what you can do. It was not some monumental feat. It was not some unbelievable action.

A WOMAN JUST DID WHAT SHE COULD DO WHEN SHE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO IT.

IN THIS CASE, SHE LOVED FIRST AND LOVED MOST.

EXTRAORDINARY!

The woman’s gift of love was an expensive jar of perfume that she broke and poured over Jesus’ head. The fragrant aroma quickly filled the room and got everyone’s attention and Jesus’ commendation.

I had an idea how to illustrate the story. I asked several of the more stylish players to identify the best and most popular cologne. I purchased a bottle. It was very expensive. That was just what I needed, an entire bottle of expensive, fragrant cologne.

When I began my presentation, I handed the cologne bottle to one of the players near the front. I asked him to empty all the contents into a small container. While he was performing my request, I explained to the team that others thought the woman’s action was a waste of something valuable. They criticized her purpose and method.

Then came the moment. I pointed out the notable brand name and the high cost of the cologne. What if I used it all up in one brief moment? I asked what they would think about that kind of action. Would that be an act of stupidity? Could it be an act of love? Would it be a waste? Or a lifelong lesson?

I reaffirmed my love for the players. This is what it looks like to do what you can do to show someone you love them first and most.

I leaned back and poured all the cologne on top of my head. The fragrance quickly filled the large room. As I leaned my head forward, the cologne began streaming down my face. I underestimated the flow. There was little hair to soak up or hinder the downward rush.

Suddenly, the expensive cologne was in both eyes. It stung. It felt as if my eyes were on fire. The protective nature of the eyelids instinctively kicked in. I literally could not open my eyes. This is no exaggeration. It was as if my eyes were glued shut.

I began a wild search for the towel somewhere on the stage. I stumbled around with my arms outstretched. At first, the players thought this was part of the act. I grabbed the towel and dabbed my eyes. They would not open. The stinging intensified.

Then, it dawned on me. I might go blind. I told the players that I had just done “the most stupid thing ever. I may have blinded myself. Seriously, I think I permanently damaged my eyes.”

Several players came to offer their assistance. I asked them to let me finish the lesson first.

With my eyes glued shut from the expensive cologne in my blinded eyes, I talked about extraordinary. I called their attention to how one influential act could set off an aroma of love that could affect many others. I challenged them to do something extraordinary with their football season and with their lives. It was a great life-lesson.

The illustration of pouring cologne over one’s head became a great concern. The burning, blinding effect did not dissipate. Medical attention did not relieve the pain. Rinsing the eyes might have helped, but they could not be pried open.

I sat with a towel pushed against my eyes. I thought about the stupidity of my actions. I strained to open an eye. The eyelids would not budge. It was as if they were stuck shut with super-glue. The stinging intensity did not subside.

Did I burn my eyes into blindness? At some point and in some way, the eyes began to bring in light. The recovery was slow and painful. Eventually, I would heal except from the embarrassing stupidity.

The shirt used in that infamous illustration was worn several times in the next few years. One time it covered my sweating body as I mowed the lawn in the summertime heat. It was laundered at least four times. It hung in the closet for the rest of the time as a reminder to me of the illustration and its application.

The polo shirt retained the pleasant odor for over three years. When I spoke on the Biblical story in another church, I took the shirt with me to show the lasting effect. I asked several participants to smell the shirt and describe any odor. That in itself is a dangerous request. Each identified the shirt as having a pleasant perfume-like fragrance.

Extraordinary love has a lasting effect. It might even have an everlasting impact. Others might consider the actions a waste, but the heavenly observers rejoice at the unselfish fragrance.

Do what you can do to love first and love most. This exhortation is not directed to what others might be able to do. It does not ask you to consider what you are unable to do.

Where could you start? What could you do? Jesus lives inside you to lead you to others He intends to love through you. Why not start there with that person? What could you do to love them first and love them most?

Extraordinary is just one small step between what you refuse to do and what you choose to do. Extraordinary is not beyond your ability.

You can do something extraordinary today. Jesus will notice. He said the act of love will be talked about in heaven forever.

In truth, heaven will be extraordinary. We will be fully equipped to love in the manner Jesus has loved us. First and Most. We will do what we can do to love other heavenly inhabitants engaged in the same purpose. Extraordinary!

Extraordinary is just doing what you can do. Sadly, that is unusual on this earth. Why? Most people do not do all they can do in this life to love first and love most. They withhold love from God and others. They prefer to be lovers of self in love with money and pleasures (#1 Textbook).

Love should never be half-hearted. Never mediocre. Never part-time. Never a second-thought.

What about you?

This week is a wonderful opportunity to love God and love others first and most.

How? Just do what you can do. Give your selfishness away. Let your love revolve around someone else. No act is too great or too extravagant.

EXTRAORDINARY LOVE GIVES GENEROUSLY!

Extraordinary is never about how much we give. It involves giving something relative to what we could give if we did all we can do.

Love always gives its best. Loving first and most is never a waste. Love never goes unnoticed by God.

Loving first and most is extraordinary! With God’s help, you can love first, and you can love most. Just do what you can do.

FYI: I HAVE THE BEST SMELLING EYES IN THE WORLD.